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Post Info TOPIC: Maid of Honor duties
Joina


Kenneth Cole

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Maid of Honor duties
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Ok...  I am clueless when it comes to this.  But I was wondering what the duties are for a MoH.  I am hosting the Bridal Shower (which is going to cost a lot of $$), do I also host the bachelorette?  what about gifts? Do I give her a bridal shower gift and a wedding gift?


Also, do Maid of Honors have to give a speech?


HELP!



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smash


Dooney & Bourke

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i think the expectations vary from bride to bride, so you might want to ask the bride herself what she expects of you. when it comes to gifts, i think that all gift decisions should be personal (and again, expectations vary from bride to bride), so i would just give a gift in situations where you feel comfortable. you could see hosting the shower as your shower gift to the bride, or you could get her something small in addition to that (i personally wouldn't expect my bridesmaids to get me a shower gift after helping with/hosting my shower, but that is just me). i would say that in general anyone who is a guest at a wedding (or an invitee for that matter) should get a wedding gift for the couple, but i think that is just general etiquette.


this article from theknot.com might be helpful -


http://www.theknot.com/ch_article.html?Object=AI980914211009&keywordID=163&keywordType=2&parentID=527



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"to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its night and day to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop trying." - ee cummings
jestillman


Kenneth Cole

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As MOH you may give a speech at the rehearsal dinner. i think, just as smash said that it varies. But, generally, all the bridesmaids chip in for the shower and you all plan it together..of course too many opinions doesn't always led itself to smooth planning. Also, i know for my bachelorette party not all the bridesmaids could come but a bunch of other friends did. each person paid their share and a little extra so i didn't have to pay. i would have but wasn't allowed...plus, i think buying your own veil with penises on it is a little self indulgent...and strange (ps. i didn't wear it all night). it also depends what your financial situation is. the bride will have to understand what you can and can't afford. there are tons of fun ways to throw an inexpensive and still very special and meaningful shower and bachelorette party.


i think the most impt part is just being there for her THAT DAY. making sure she's eating, and avioding any unnecssary confrontation. i saw one MOH running around behind the bride mopping her brow (i am not making this up) so the bride wldn't be shiny in pictures. that's above and beyond. (Rachel, if you're reading this I do get quite shiny)


 



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JoceyBaby23


Gucci

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quote:
Originally posted by: jestillman
(Rachel, if you're reading this I do get quite shiny)  "

 


Hilarious!



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-jocey-
dc


Dooney & Bourke

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The answers are basically yes, yes, yes, yes....

I do think you have to do the showers/bachelorettes/etc IF the bride wants those things (not all brides do - ask). And you're expected to give gifts, etc - but due to the expense a good friend should let it slide if you need to invoke the "1 Year clause." I mean, it costs thousands of $ to be a MOH. Brides will deny this because they have no idea, but it's been a fact for me - gifts, showers (you're right - the biggest expense), and dresses all add up!

The biggest duty is indeed being there for the bride on her wedding day - and sucking up any moodiness or bossiness you might encounter. But seriously, even the coolest bride gets weepy or needs reassurance on her big day, and just being around for her to talk to makes a difference.

I don't know about speeches. I am a crappy speaker, anyway, and only did it once out of three. The other two people should thank me for not sullying their receptions with inane blather.



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~ dc "Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination" - Oscar Wilde
Irene


Dooney & Bourke

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You really need to ask the bride what she expects of you because all weddings are different.


I did not expect my MOH to pay for so many things because she has 2 kids. So I picked out he shower location and my FMIL paid for it. My MOH only had to make decorations and get the cake. I planned my bachelorette party and paid for 1/3 of it while everyone else involved paid the rest. And My MOH is making a speech (and I am very afraid..LOL!)


But as DC said, the biggest duty for the MOH is being there for the big day. Mine ha to help dress me because of the style of dress I have, I can't tdo it myself. She also is helping o make sure that Gary and I have 1 hour of sit down time during the reception so we can enjoy our dinner and just relax. That is really important to us.



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Joina


Kenneth Cole

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Thank you for all the replies!


It's definitely helpful.



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