STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

stylethread · Kenneth Cole

long distance

CRM · Nine West

My husband and I dated long distance (4 hour plane ride) throughout our entire relationship because we went to different universities. (summers were better: only a 2 and a half hour drive). I think that long distance works for some people and for others it doesn't. If you can get through the long distance part of a relationship, the experiences that come with it strengthen the bond your partner and you have because you really have to make an effort to make it work.

blink · Coach

I think anywhere longer than a four hour drive away is probably going to make a relationship difficult.

shopgirl82 · Chanel

i dated my bf for 3.5 years long distance while i was in college. i would usually fly to see him once a month. it worked for me because in college, i didn't want to miss out on the experience by secluding myself with my bf (which i saw soooo sooo many of my friends do). it's nice because we became such great friends and i have a sort of diary of our relationship (yes, i've kept every e-mail from him). it can be hard, but to me it is worth it. plus you develop as your own person, and not live your life around the other person.

i say go for it. it's pretty clear early on, if it is something that could work for you.

Joina · Kenneth Cole

My current bf and I have been together for 3.5 years now and we started dating when I was working in Italy. We dated for about 2 weeks, and then I went back to Italy for another 3 months. Once I came back we picked things up where we left off.

Then 7 months ago, I was assigned to work in Shanghai China. I was freaked, thinking that it would destroy our relationship. Well, I'm happy to report that I am not back in the US and our relationship is stronger than before I left. We managed to talk almost everyday on the phone, and I truly believe that the long distance has made him realize how great our relationship really is.

It's like CRM says, works for some, doens't work for others. I was lucky that it worked out for me.

blubirde · Chanel

quote:
Originally posted by: fairywings
"You know how people always say that long distance relationships never last? Anyhow, what do you consider long distance? If a SO was moving, but not very far, like not across the country or something like that, just a nice long drive, is it still considered long distance? Ughhh, this is something sooo stupid that has been bothering me. "

Depends on the person and the drive. How much of an answer is that?

I think if someone lives far enough away that you can only see them on weekends, then it is long distance. If they're close enough to be able to meet you for a movie on a weekday or come over for dinner with a little advance notice, then no, not long distance. But that's my opinion. Some people think weekend distance is normal.

Elle · Hermes

IMO, anywhere that is too far to drive just for the day is long distance. So, I guess I would qualify anything more than 2-3 hours away 'long distance'.

crystal · Kate Spade

hmm, i wasn't going to respond cuz my bf is "weekend distance", but by blubirde's definition we are long distance. he lives anywhere from 2-4 hrs away (took me 4 hrs during friday rush hour, 2 hrs on sunday w/ no traffic) & he comes out every weekend, i only visited him once

. i think it's not an issue, i mean i really don't have time for him during the week anyways & we talk at least every other day so we can catch up. so far things are pretty good, it's been about 2 1/2 months.

Andrea Julia · Coach

I consider it long distance if it is too far for you to go every weekend.

blubirde · Chanel

quote:
Originally posted by: crystal
"hmm, i wasn't going to respond cuz my bf is "weekend distance", but by blubirde's definition we are long distance. he lives anywhere from 2-4 hrs away (took me 4 hrs during friday rush hour, 2 hrs on sunday w/ no traffic) & he comes out every weekend, i only visited him once . i think it's not an issue, i mean i really don't have time for him during the week anyways & we talk at least every other day so we can catch up. so far things are pretty good, it's been about 2 1/2 months. "

Sometimes weekend distance is just the perfect distance, though, don't you think? I've had a long distance (weekend distance) relationship and I was miserable! But when he moved closer we didn't hang out any more than we did before so I think it's just a "grass is always greener" thing. Consider yourself lucky Crystal! I'd die if I had a boyfriend who I had to see every day of the week. (Okay, I wouldn't die but I'd be bitchy and mean and probably wouldn't have a boyfriend very long!)

erin · Chanel

my relationship with my husband has always been inbetween long-distance and togetherness. he will be gone on the road for 3 months, coming home every other weekend, and then sometimes he will be home for 6 months. it works out well for us, because we both like our independence ("single without the perks"). we talk on the phone at least 3-4x per day, even if it's just saying a quick hi.

it wouldn't work if i didn't trust him implicitly. as was already said, ldr's aren't for everyone. it gets lonely at times, and semi-celibacy is no fun. (thank god for the hitachi, though, right?) i love being able to have time for my hobbies, friends, books, etc...