STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Joina · Kenneth Cole

Buy a house together?

blubirde · Chanel

I'm an attorney, and I have no clue the things you should watch out for! (A lot of help, huh?) Now if we're talking criminal law, I'm a much better source of information.

But I think it's a big step. What happens if you break up? Can either of you afford to live there alone? If he leaves, can you still cover the mortgage? Or vice versa? Make sure, if you decide to do it, that it's in both of your names, so if something does happen you both have ownership rights to it. (I'm not trying to be the cloud of doom by suggesting you might break up but that's the only real problem to consider, isn't it? If you stay together forever and ever, it won't matter at all if you buy a house together.)

How does your boyfriend feel about marriage and the like? Not suggesting it, just asking. If y'all are in it for the long haul, but just haven't gone through the formalities, as long as you're smart about everything, I say go for it. But if you're not sure about the relationship lasting, I'd say stick with renting. A year's lease is a lot better than a 30-year mortgage!

RyanJ · Coach

My brother and his girlfriend did this. She was planning on moving out of her parents and just did not want to live in an apartment. They just didn't want to put money into an apartment ever month and not have anything to show for it.

The house is in her name. He helps with the hosue payment and food and utiliteis but not everything is 50/50- since it is technically her house. When they get married in a few years the house will then be put in both of their names.

-- Edited by RyanJ at 11:31, 2005-02-10

kenzie · Chanel

My bf and I are contemplating this, but I would rather be married. It doesn't help that my mom is completely against us buying a house together until we're married. I'm still not competely sure what I want to do.

ShanKel · Kenneth Cole

I had a friend who bought a house with her boyfriend a couple of years ago. Sadly they broke up and neither of them wanted to part with the house. They both paid 50/50 and put alot of money into the house. They eventually had to sell the house because neither wanted to let the other have it because of the money invested. Because they were only in the house for 2 years there really wasn't any equity in the house so they didnt see a profit. Needless to say that was hard earned money gone down the drain.

I'm not saying don't do it but both of you should be clear on what your intentions are as far as marriage is concerned.

Maddie · Coach

My mom did this when she was younger. She ended up breaking up with the guy and she said it was HUGE mistake. I don't the details, but I've been told many times not to do it.

LA Gal · Kenneth Cole

I think it's a bad idea in most situations. I think it's much safer for one of you to buy the house, have it in your name only, and have the other person contribute to the expenses (but obviously contribute less considering all the different factors). You should definitely think about what would happen if you were to break up and talk about it openly. I think that Shankel's story is not that uncommon and the results are always pretty disasterous. Also, I think that only one of you will be able to take the interest deduction - so if both of you own the house together, one of you will get little to no tax benefit from owning.

I guess it really depends on your specific situation. You know how your relationship is going and where it's headed. My husband and I actually bought a house together before we were married. While we were only dating, we were looking at houses and had a lot of conversations about how to structure it all. I was really hesitant to buy together unless we were married or at least engaged. A few months before we found the house that we ultimately ended up buying, we got engaged. We bought it together knowing that we were headed towards marriage (we got married just a couple months after we closed on the house), so I felt differently about the whole thing.

Joina · Kenneth Cole

Thanks for all the advice girls! I will have to have a serious conversation with him and make a decision. I'll let you know what happens.

mckenke · BCBG

My boyfriend and I recently bought an apartment together (I think you said you live in New York Joina?). Anyway, I found that sometimes co-ops tend to look down on couples not being married and will evaluate your finances separately so if one of you leaves they can be assured the apartment will be paid for. We bought a condo so we didn't have to deal with boards and because the monthly fees are cheaper. One thing that our lawyer was sure to include in our contract was a clause saying that if something happened to one of us that the property would automatically go to the other. (there is a proper name for this and I can't remember it)Because you aren't married, the property would not be automatically transferred without this written in. My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 years, so I felt perfectly comfortable buying a place with him.

dot · Marc Jacobs

joina - i just bought an apt with my boyfriend. basically we had it set up that in case something happens to one of us that the other person doesn't get the other half of the apt. as far as financials go, i didn't really have a problem with us being a non-married couple, but we both make pretty good money and each of us could afford the mortgage by ourselves. i had concerns about it at first, but it helped me alot to talk to an attorney and make it clear that we were going in as equal owners of the property (like business partners would).

anyway, whether you buy one with your SO or not.. you should definitely buy rather than rent! i hate rent!

halleybird · Hermes

I did this -- we bought our house about 1 year before we were engaged. I don't see it as a problem as long as you believe you are headed toward marriage. Lots of older people I know lectured me about it at the time ("why don't you get married first?") but I consider marriage to be a much bigger decision.