STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

ladysi78250 · Dooney & Bourke

Having hard time getting over breakup

Jahni · Dooney & Bourke

I broke up with my BF of 4+ years last week...it sucks...the only advice I have to is keep busy and keep reminding yourself that the breakup happened for a reason. I've been keeping myself busy by thinking about a new diet plan, window shopping (online), contacting old friends just to track them down and see what they're up to, and i've had dinner everynight for the past 5 nights with my parents (sad. very very sad.)

You just have to keep moving.

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

I feel like you get over a break-up in stages.

Stage One:

Hurts like hell but you're still talking/texting/emailing (even making out) because you can't imagine not doing so. You especially can't resist when he initiates the contact. You literally check your phone/email every other minute. Also wanting to talk about him a lot because it feels like it keeps the two of you alive somehow.

Stage Two:

Cutting off contact because you realize you should stop talking/texting/emailing or else you will never move on. Throwing yourself into something else, a new guy, work, hobbies, whatever.

Stage Three:

Talking again because you feel like you've gotten some distance and made some progress and maybe you can be friends.

Stage Four:

Feeling the pain of the breakup again, remembering all the things that went wrong, realizing the friends thing is probably not going to work.

Stage Five:

One day feeling the skies part and the sun shine and the miracle of falling OUT of love and just being able to BREATHE again.

Don't worry sweetie. You'll get to stage five. But I bet right now it hurts to hear that because all you want is to just be with him again.

ETA: Remember that relapses are part of the process so don't be too hard on yourself when they happen.

ETA again: One more thing, and this one is by far the hardest. You may get together again. Maybe. But you can't live your life on maybe so for now you just have to act as if you won't. It's a killer, I know. But you can get through it.

-- Edited by esquiress at 18:26, 2008-08-01

Suasoria · Chanel

It's still very fresh, so how can you not think about it? It's like a death, in a way, and maybe you need more time to grieve than your intellectual mind understands. Try not to push yourself or think "I should be feeling X, Y, Z" or "by now things should be better." Right now, in this moment, everything is perfect and whole.

It's great to distract yourself, but when you're no longer distracted you end up feeling crappy again if you're not done grieving. May as well allow yourself the time you need, at least for now.

BellinaJessica · Kenneth Cole

I'm right there with you. It sucks, it really sucks. Just try and find stuff that keeps you busy. I find that when I'm sitting home without much to do then that's when it really kicks my butt.

When all else fails, a nice glass of wine makes it hurt a little less. Just don't go overboard and start drunk dialing him

I'd sure like to know when the pain was going to go away though. Right now it just hurts to not be with him and I'm so very tired of it hurting. I'd give just about anything to wake up and find him lying next to me in bed but that just isn't gonna happen.

Life goes on, eh?