STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Metric · Gucci

My brother the turd-long

Elle · Hermes

There is a fine line between swallowing your pride and making nice to keep peace in the family and being walked all over. You are not required to like anyone if you have no control over keeping them in your life or not. In this case, it is your brother who is making that choice for you. I would calmly explain to your brother that you will be civil to her only because you love him and respect his right to be with anyone he so chooses. She has given you 0 reasons to like her and 129,786 to hate her. If she doesn't try, why should you? Or, if you're evil

or bored

, you could purposely invite your bro and his GF over a bunch of times and be sugary-sweet to her the entire time, simply for your own amusement

. Don't feel bad for standing your ground - she sounds atrocious!

Mia · Kate Spade

Yeah, I am with LMonet. It's all well and good to say "we should forgive" etc. - but what if she really is a bad person, and she's treating your brother badly, and he's taking it, for whatever reason? Do you want to look back and say you pretended it was all fine at the time, or that you stood your ground on something you felt was affecting your family in a negative way? Eh. I hate this stuff.

Kel · Coach

I don't know if i am the best person to be giving advice b/c i am really stubborn. But I don't see why you have to give in. She is the one with the problem. But I also see how this is kind of dividing your family apart. I would talk to your brother calmy in a neutral place and explain how you feel about the situation. But tell him that under no circumstances will you ever be his g/f friend, but while doing this, I would bash her either b/c he will get very defensive. Just let the situation be known.

Ally S · Kate Spade

You certainly don't have to forgive her, geez a girl has to have principals! I would set some groundrules with my brother and my mother so there is no further misundertandings. I'd also let my brother know in no uncertain terms the pain you still feel by her being back in the picture.

Tell them both you think her actions and the things she has said about your family were hurtful and really do warrant apologies on her part, but if she can't give them you will not be able to go out of your way for her or make her welcome back into your home.

When she is around (for the sake of peace) acknowledge her, be polite, be a better person then the traxh she obviously is and have little to do or say to her unless of course she starts a conversation with you.

I would say confronting her, but I see no point in that. She has a hold over him and no doubt plays on his low self-esteem. If you ostracize her completely you and your family will run the risk of losing your brother and that is not what he needs right now.

blubirde · Chanel

quote:
Originally posted by: LMonet
"There is a fine line between swallowing your pride and making nice to keep peace in the family and being walked all over. You are not required to like anyone if you have no control over keeping them in your life or not. In this case, it is your brother who is making that choice for you. I would calmly explain to your brother that you will be civil to her only because you love him and respect his right to be with anyone he so chooses. She has given you 0 reasons to like her and 129,786 to hate her. If she doesn't try, why should you? Or, if you're evil or bored , you could purposely invite your bro and his GF over a bunch of times and be sugary-sweet to her the entire time, simply for your own amusement . Don't feel bad for standing your ground - she sounds atrocious!"

I second everything LMonet said. It sounds like your brother has some issues, too if he was willing to start berating you in the middle of a crowded club. Who does that? On the other hand, I firmly believe in the power of apology. If you feel you did something wrong, even a little, you'll feel a lot better if you apologize and get it over with. You can't control anyone's actions but your own. I'm not saying you should apologize - I don't know if you did anything wrong! - but if you at all feel like you should, just do it and get it over with so she can't poison your life anymore.

I hope everything works out.