STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Hermione · Kate Spade

losing a child

Farrah · Marc Jacobs

Actually, I have two brothers that passed away. One had spinal meningitis and one was murdered. My mom was a total wreck after both of them died (she was the one that found my brother dead on our front sidewalk), my dad seemed to be upset, but fine after my younger brother passed, but he went straight into the bottle after my older brother was killed. There was a time that not one day passed that I didn't come home to find my mother crying at the kitchen table and/or my father home drunk (if he came home at all). It was a really hard time for everyone.

Losing a child is something you cannot imagine or understand unless it has happened to you and I imagine that your friend's dad is just trying to stay strong for his wife. All I can suggest is that you try to be the best friend possible and let them know that you care about them. Books and treats are nice, but nothing can truly heal the pain except time.

Collette · Chanel

Wow Farrah I didn't know this about you. It's just more proof of what an amazing and strong person you are. I'm so sorry you're family has dealt with such tragedy and it's wonderful of you to share this story to help others.

Suasoria · Chanel

To add to what Farrah said, losing a child is number one on the list of worst tragedies that can befall a human being. The grief and sense of loss over the death of a child is greater even than the loss of a spouse.

There's simply no "to be expected, comma, in a way" about it, so please do not make the mistake of minimizing this experience. It's only been a week? It may take her months or even years to get to a point where she decides to even seek counseling.

What you can do is spend as much time with the family as you can, be there, even if you don't feel you know them well, well...now's a good opportunity to do so. Engage her a bit, be sensitive, give her your presence. Let her know her child's life was and still is important to people.

I have a cousin who was murdered about seven years ago, and his mom, my aunt, whom I'm very close to, still suffers the death of her child daily, hourly, minute by minute. Suicidal thoughts do seem to pass, especially if the parent has other children. But most of us simply cannot conceive of the experience - and may we never have to!