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Post Info TOPIC: wedding jewlery dilema - please help?advice


Kenneth Cole

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wedding jewlery dilema - please help?advice
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sorry i am posting this here but I think this category gets the most foot traffic and I really want as many opinions as possible.

So today I went to get my second to last wedding gown fitting.  One of my cousins came for it.  She gave me as a gift a ring her mom wore to her own wedding.  (Not her main engagement ring but just a ring I think she wore on her right hand.)  My cousins mom (my aunt) passed away about 7 years ago.  She was only 49 and at the time my cousin was 30.  So she asked me to wear the ring of my deceased aunt day of my wedding and being swept up in all the emotion I think I kind of agreed to. 

The problem:  I absolutly only wanted to wear for jewlery 1)earings 2)my engagement ring and band 3) a diamond bracelet watch.  I really really don't want to have to wear any other jewlery.

What do I do????  Do I have to wear the ring? Maybe take a couple of pictures with it and take it off?? Whaaaaaa! cry I really don't want to have to wear it.  Am I being selfish?!?! help! thoughts?


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Dooney & Bourke

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Maybe you could "wear" it somewhere other than on your hand.... maybe tie it into your bouquet, sew it into the lining of your dress, or somewhere where it's not really detectable....
and then get the photographer to take a picture of it...
does that make sense?

were you really close to your aunt? if not, that seems to be kind of an odd request, and I probably wouldn't feel so bad about not wearing it at all...

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Marc Jacobs

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Wow, your cousin really put you on the spot, imo.  i think it was a little inappropriate for her to ask that of you.  your wedding day is obviously one of the most special days in your life and you shouldn't have to wear something you don't want to out of obligation.  unless of course your aunt was like a mother to you and raised you or something (which doesn't sound like the case), i really wouldn't feel bad about not wearing it.  i would just explain to her that you really appreciate the gift but that you had already decided what jewelry you wanted to wear and made plans for that already, and if you were to add a ring it would alter the look and you would have to take something else off.  you could say that the other day is also or equally special and meaningful to you as well. 

i would make sure that you thank her and tell her how much it means to you to have something so special from your aunt.  then, assuming you like it, i would tell her that you plan to wear it on other many occasions and not just one day.  you could also say something like "i know you might be disappointed but I really hope you understand how i feel and how important this day is to me, etc."  HTH a little.  good luck!    

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Kenneth Cole

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Thanks Jahni and Alb.  I don't think I will wear it.  I am going to just make sure she knows that it means a lot to me but that I was already set with jewelry.  I wasn't very close to my aunt so I do think it was inappropriate of her to ask.  Anyway thanks for your responses I needed some validation in my thought process.  I was afraid it was selfish of me to not want to wear it.



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Chanel

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Wow, it is a weird (but sweet) gift/request and it will be hard not to look like a jerk when you deny it. I personally think "it doesn't match my outfit" is a bad way to go, but sewing it into your dress or bouquet would be thoughtful. It could be your "something old."

If you can't, I would tell her you thought long and hard about it and decided you felt strange wearing it since you weren't as close to her as you'd have liked, and she should keep it since it's so special, and blah blah blah.

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Marc Jacobs

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My first instinct was to wear it "somewhere else" like on the bouquet, or in your dress. Its still a nice gesture but I could totally understand not wanting to wear it esp on a day when your hands will be photographed alot.

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Coach

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I would definitely have it attached to the bouquet and get a picture taken of it simply because it is meaningful to your cousin. It won't really take much effort and no one will see it. I think that is a win-win way to handle it.

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Kenneth Cole

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thanks ladies! i am definitly going to consider the bouquet idea. the only thing is that its a destination wedding so i may not have my bouquet in time to sew it in.  i may have my mom do it for me...

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