STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

You have described my love life (ha! if you want to call it that...) to a tee. I've never been able to date anyone for more than a month and a half (sometimes because of me, sometimes because of him) and I also find myself getting slightly depressed when I read the local paper and see who's getting married/engaged in that section of the paper. Especially when it's people I graduated with or younger. It makes me think "Wow, I don't even have a boyfriend and all these people are getting married".

I'm also 25 and for some reason, feel like some clock is ticking and I'm never going to find anyone...

You're definitely not alone in your thoughts!

I am 29 and got married when I was 23.  Now, I have plenty of friends my age and older, not many who are younger.  Some are already married, some are already divorced, some are bitter singles in their mid thirties, including one of my best friends, Wendy who is now 33 and is stunned she is still unmarried.  You ladies are only 25 and shouldn't worry about it. 

However, you can avoid being like her.  I think I know where Wendy has gone wrong....simply, she doesn't follow The Rules.  Not even loosely (for those who think The Rules are outdated).  She gives too much, commits way before an "I love you" or a marriage proposal, tries too hard to be cool by not asking questions because she's so afraid of seeming nosey, for example, I will ask her where the new guy she is dating works or where he went to school or where he is from and she will say, "I don't know, you know me, I don't ask questions."  She thinks a guy will fall in love with her because she's so fun to hang out with and an NBA and college football fan.  She is constantly available whenever the guy wants to hang out, which makes her seem like she is waiting by the phone.  The biggest mistake she has made was wasting years of her life committed to the wrong guy, she's done it a few times in the past decade.  The most recent was a three year relationship that was doomed to fail six months into it because the guy cheated on her, but she stuck with him because she figured she had already invested 6 mo's to him and she didn't want to give up the dream. 

Enjoy being 25, meet and date lots of guys, don't sleep with most of them, don't commit unless it's real, and stay confident, open-minded and light hearted!  Biggest piece of advice here is don't waste time convincing yourself the wrong guy will suddenly turn right.

It's too bad all of us singles don't live near each other.  We could go out on  "single girls" nights and hunt for men worthy of our time

Okay, I'll be....well, I'll be Carrie then   I even have the nameplate necklace already....

If we were all rich, I'd say let's take a Vegas trip together or something! 

Yeah, I'm not much of a gambler.  I've never won anything and I can't fathom the idea of throwing my money away on something that I'll never get a return from.  I'd throw it away on clothes, etc.  At least then I'd have something to show for it..

I think you're all right, part of the problem is not having many single girlfriends to go out with! A lot of my friends who are in couples still like to go out, but it's a very different dynamic. And I hate to say it, but when the few single gal friends I do have meet a potential mate, I get all antsy and worried they'll go off with them and be just another couple! Which is strange, that's so unlike me, I'm not at all a jealous or clingy person, nor have any of my coupled friends really abandoned me in any way.

I do think there is something to what Lorelei says about the Rules... I've never read the book, nor do I really know anything about the Rules... but I guess the big one is really common sense: don't make yourself too available to someone (physically, emotionally, in any way!) until you really do have a commitment from them. It's healthy to protect your independance and have lots of room for yourself. Not that I'm all that good at it, ha! But I'm getting better

Vegas, baby. Vegas.

another 25 and single.  i don't really know how i feel about it. most of the time it doesn't really bother me that much, almost all my friends are single, the two people i know in relationships are in rather shitty ones, and most importantly i really haven't met a guy that i want to be in a relationship with. honestly, i've been coming to terms with the fact that i might not ever marry so i'm almost accustomed to my single status.  but there are days when i do get sad, mostly when i have to do home related stuff, or when i see  a really cute date outfit and think oh that would be perfect, if only i had a date. 

i don't know, i obviously don't have the answer, but i do think a lot of it has to do with timing and dare i say fate. not that i believe in soulmates or anything like that, but i do think timing is important, and at this point in my life maybe the timing isn't right.

bostongal, you're not prying.  based on my (somewhat limited) experience i believe that there's at least a 50% chance that i'll never marry. essentially i know the characteristics that i want (prefer might be the better word) in a husband -- in terms of looks, goals, education, background, etc. and  i know that this specific combination is very hard to find.  obviously i'm not going to find my perfect match, and i'm flexible on certain things (namely looks). but i also know that i'm not going to settle just to be in a relationship. i've tried settling before and i ended up more frustrated than i would've been had i not bothered. additonally i went to college with a lot of guys who kind of fit this ideal, and they were attracted to a very specific type of girl, and i'm just not that girl. nor do i want to be that girl (nothing wrong with that type of girl, it's just not me) so i know that while the odds aren't stacked against me, they really aren't in my favor.

in a sense it's almost like a coping mechanism. if i don't expect to be married, then i won't be upset when i'm in my 30's and still single. but if i do get married, then it's a pleasant surprise, so i can't lose either way. 

Yep, this is my situation exactly.  Dating is really kind of sucky....

Im in for vegas though!!