STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

This is the best roommate story yet--the roommate story to end all roommate stories. Let me explain.

It was about 11:30 and the bf and I had just gone to bed and turned out the lights. A few minutes later we hear a loud crash, feet scuffling and something slamming into the hallway wall. We looked at each other and I said, 'what the hell was that?' We got up and hadn't opened our bedroom door when we heard my roommate (yes the smelly, fastfood snarfing, beer guzzling slob) scream, "There's someone in my room!!" I opened the bedroom door and saw my roommate at the end of the hall/top of the steps by the bathroom. He screamed again that there was someone in his room. Since my bf and I didn't really know what was going on and we had just heard all of the ruckus coming from his room, we assumed that someone had climbed into his bedroom via the window. So, we barracade our door and proceed to call 911 while my bf, ever the renegade law inforcer, looked for the large knife he keeps under his bed. Once he found the knife, we crept out of our room and into the hallway.

Upon realizing that noone was in the upstairs of the house, we went downstairs to greet the cops, who were now at our front door. The cops proceeded to search every corner of the house and turned up no signs of an intruder or a forced entry. It was raining heavily and there was no wetness or mud in the house, nothing had been stolen and all the doors were still deadbolted. The only way someone could have entered the house would have been through the upstairs bathroom window. In order to enter that, they would have had to scale the roof in the mud and rain--not an easy feat, considering that they would have also been a very clean intruder b/c we found no mud in the bathroom.

Once the officers (all six of them) had finished searching the house and determined that there had never been an intruder and that my roommate was probably having a nightmare. After they left, my roommate conceded that, yes, it may very well have been a dream. This is same roommate who has admitted to having other crazy dreams-- one night he thought he saw a woman floating outside his second story bedroom window and then decided to go trapsing around the house at 3am to investigate his floating woman of mystery. Needless to say, he didn't find anything. He has also been known to jump up in the middle of the night and attempt to confront the monsters. Yeah. Fabulous.

So, thanks to my roommate, we had a nice little visit with the cops last night and I lost about 2 hours of sleep. He seriously needs to get the hell out.

And so ends the roommate tale of woe.