STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

CarrieS · Marc Jacobs

Jealousy vent-financial

lsubatgirl · Gucci

your post cracks me up. I so get like that too where I'm jealous of other people being able to spend loads of money on expensive clothes. Well not even that expensive but they get to buy a lot of it at once. Like I only wish I could go into one of the local boutiques and walk out with bags of clothes like some girls do but my parents are the type to let me spend whatever I want and pick up the tab. Its a treat when my mom offers to buy me one article of clothing once every 6 months or so.

So I tend to do the wishing and getting jealous and rationalizing why I don't need to spend that much money and rake up debt right now. Lately I keep telling myself that I don't want to buy clothes while I'm losing weight but I don't know what I'm going to say when its all over and I'm at my goal weight.

Just think of all the trends you aren't buying into right now and be happy. One day you'll have that great job and loads in the bank and can spend the money on whatever you want. Until then just don't go over to that forum

Andrea Julia · Coach

quote:
Originally posted by: CarrieS
"Does anyone ever feel really jealous to the point that it upsets you? And I'm talking about material possesion jealousy... I was over on the luxuryfashion.com boards tonight and as I was reading some of the posts, I actually felt myself getting bitchy, bitter and jealous of what some of the girls were posting as their designer bag collections. One girl also posted that she had spent $2500 in the last month on shopping and all I could think was "Gee, that must be rough" in a sarcastic tone. Plus, I think she said she had $70,000 savings. All I was thinking was the fact that I work 60 hours a week at 2 part-time jobs and only make about $1600/month. $1000 of that goes towards bills, but that's not even all of my bills. My parents are still paying for my car and car insurance. I would just love to have that much extra money to spend every month I might have that extra $600 a month, but my checking account has never been much above $400 and stayed there (mostly because I love to shop also), so I need to hoard that $600. I've just finally gotten it under control and it's about $700 now (which is damn good for me), but I still can't go buying much of anything that I don't NEED, since I need to keep it under control and I still have about $1800 of credit card debt. Does anyone else ever get jealous that they just don't have the money to be frivolous? I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but I think the fact that I'm killing myself working and not having much to show for it, is starting to get to me. It's especially hard since I love fashion and drool over things constantly and sometimes surfing these fashion forums can elevate those feelings over bitterness God, that felt good to type all that... On a positive note though, I LOVE this forum. Yes, I'll still be like "sigh, I wish I could afford that", but I don't feel bitter and angry, ever. You girls all seem so down-to-earth and nice. Good lord, can you believe that the only thing that spawned this post was the lux website?? I should probably let myself only have limited access over there I was in a weak emotional state and I let it get to me. Geez...."

Carrie S., I know what you mean. I actually mentioned in another thread how I don't like to go over there so much because it seems like everyone over there is really rich and I can't really identify with them. I like some of the things over there, but I really like stylethread a million times better.

I definitely get jealous a lot about not having the money to be frivolous. I don't even have enough money to have an apartment (well, at least not anywhere within an hour of my job).

I don't know your situation, but maybe if you just got one full time job, you can make more money. I take home only a bit more than you a month and I only work 35 hours a week.

Also, is your credit card a big part of your monthly bills? Can you switch to a 0% or low interest card and pay a little over the minimum every month? If there is no interest building up on your credit card, it isn't as big a deal to pay huge sums of money every month. This is what I did. Usually the 0% offer just lasts a year. I then switch to another 0% card. It has taken me 3 years, but I have paid off a $4000 credit card without building up interest.

I also strongly suggest that you read this book:

How to Get What You Want In Life With the Money You Already Have
by Carol Keeffe http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0316485187/qid=1105022384/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/104-1324376-8992726?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

The cover looks cheesy, but it has some really good saving and money management tips for people who don't make a lot to begin with. I've picked up some pretty good tips from this book. It is completely different than any other finance book I've read.

honey · Gucci

i think it's really normal to feel like this. i feel like that too, but some of my consolation comes from the fact that most of the women that i know that have ridiculous amounts of disposable income are older. they have careers and have established themselves in life, so in a sense they kind of deserve to be able to splurge since they've accomplished so much. (the poster on lux mentioned that she was in her early/mid 30's) my perspective is that it gives me something to look forward to as i get closer to my 30's, and that makes me feel better.

-- Edited by honey at 10:36, 2005-01-06

CarrieS · Marc Jacobs

Thanks guys! Andrea, getting one job would definitely help out (that's salary, not hourly like my current jobs); I've kind of been looking. A lot of the ones I've found I don't have the experience needed or it's not a job I would like. I have a fear of looking for a new job too (fear of rejection), so that's slowed me down somewhat. I think part of me just doesn't want to lock myself in a salaried job here because I really don't like living where I'm at currently, and I would rather move out-of-state. But, financially, I can't afford to move.

As far as my credit card debt, I plan on having that paid off in a few months, but once that's gone, I'll be taking over my car payments and will have a car loan at that point (my car is on a lease right now), so I'll pretty much be replacing my CC debt with a car loan. Although, I feel better knowing that I'll be taking on more of my own bills, and not having my parents contribute. I don't like the fact that they still pay some of them

That book does look interesting though. I might have to check it out....

Technically, my one job (theatre manager) is what I had chosen to be my career, but the pay sucks so bad (getting $8.25/hour as a manager right now), even when I move into a salaried position it will still suck (think about $22,000/year). I think that job has been frustrating me a lot now, so that's why I've been thinking I need to find a new job.

Once again, thank you!

conet · BCBG

CarrieS - For a while I used to tell a joke, "when you are middle aged you might lose your looks, but you sure can afford better handbags!" Seriously, for most of us it takes years to establish yourself financially. I didn't really have a great wardrobe and handbag collection until my late 40's. I've always loved fashion, but I couldn't always afford it. I bought vintage, sewed, made my own jewelry, and copied looks for less. Don't be jealous! You've got youth - wanna trade?

halleybird · Hermes

Oh, carrie, I hear you. Sometimes I wonder why I chose a "noble" profession instead of a higher-paying one.

luckylily · Gucci

quote:
Originally posted by: halleybird
"Oh, carrie, I hear you. Sometimes I wonder why I chose a "noble" profession instead of a higher-paying one. "

Ditto. I can relate to this. I work for an environmental non profit. Sometimes I feel like I'm being financially punished for trying to do something good. I work just as hard as my friends in the for-profit industry. However, it is the path I chose and I actually love what I do.

halleybird · Hermes

Oh, and PS - I strongly suspect that many of the girls on luxfash lie about what they have and/or buy. In addition, many of them are very young (HS/college) and their parents are the ones buying their stuff.

Mia · Kate Spade

Yeah, I have friends who can afford whatever they want and don't have to even really think about a purchase price. And yeah, sometimes this makes me feel wistful. But really? We all know it's not really about that. Hell yes it would be nice to have $3000 to drop on the Chanel dress I saw in Elle mag and loved, but I don't really think I'm missing anything important or meaningful by not having it.

I have a roof over my head, food to eat, clean water to drink, friends and family with the same - I'm not feeling deprived in any way. Not that I never do, it's just a question of checking myself - wait, no, don't feel sorry for yourself, you've got it pretty damn good, actually.