STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Okay, here's the situation.

I'm staying at my parents' house for until my wedding next week. I'm getting married in a week and have a zillion things left to do... yipee! But right now, that's besides the point.

My brother is also here and he's being beyond terrible. A little background... he went to college and got his degree. Everyone told him he should be a model so he did that for one summer in Milan but then my parents made him come back to finish school. After school he went to NYC to model, but that lasted 1 month. He claimed he hated the city but I think he realized its a lot harder to get jobs there than he thought and couldn't deal with the rejection. So after that, he moved back to the large city where he went to college. He lived there for literally a year while he did NOTHING. My parents paid his rent and he told him he was applying for grad school and looking for a job. He did work on a tv show as a body double for about a month, then came the writer's strike and that was over. He hung out with his friends, went out, worked out and thats about it. My parent's put him on a strict budget but he was still living a priviliged lifestyle. And as I write this, I can totally hear Dr. Phil's voice in my head. I realize what my parents do with their money should not concern me and that they choose to coddle him and should deal with the consequences... not me. I get that so please don't point that out because I know this isn't really affecting me.

Well after a year of doing nothing but hanging out, my parents decide he has to come back and live with them because they're sick of rewarding him for doing nothing (he'll be 24 next week and has been at home for 2 weeks now). He's supposed to be applying for grad school or looking for a job but he's not. He seriously sleeps late, wakes up and takes a ton of stimulants (like caffine and ephedra), works out and smokes pot. He smokes a lot of pot. And this is just weird to me because NO ONE in my family or any of my friends do that kind of thing. Plus, it makes me sick how disrespectful it is to my parents. Yeah, he's an adult and its his body... but he is living in my parents home and their supporting him so he should at least follow their rules. He's become such a burnout that he has no motivation to do anything. My parents have noticed this and I just got wind of this today. Its really bad because he's apparently high all the time.

And to make matters worse, he is just a mean, nasty person to be around. He has had rage/anger issues in the past and its really bad now. Because of the modeling thing, he is OBSESSED with working out, watching what he eats and appearances. Its so bad that you don't want to eat anything around him because he'll make a comment about how you don't need the refined sugar. He also is convinced he knows more than my dad about health because he reads Mens Health, even though my dad is freaking MD. If he feels the slightest bit threatened or insecure, he starts personally attacking everyone. He picks fights constantly and thinks he is the expert on all things. And honestly, he's not really smart but he parrots what other people say... he's the cliched pseudo intellectual. He is always voicing his opinion on something inappropriate like religion, politics, or something he thinks sounds smart and contraversial. For example, he is an atheist. Fine, I respect he has his own views on religion but why must boast on and on about it. Today my grandmother came over and out of nowhere he decides to tell her that Christianity is a belief system for the weak and studies have shown prayers are useless. Now why on earth does he have to pick on my 76 year old grandmother who takes great solace in her practice of religion? She said NOTHING to rile him up but he feels the need to say offensive things to her. So I just told him to shut up. Well, this made him mad because he feels his opinion is the truth and he has the right to tell everyone the way things are. So then he starts insulting me and telling me how fat and ugly I am... this is attributed to his man-orexia and obsession with looks from the failed modeling attempt. 

He is doing this in front of my grandmother and aunt, who were there because I had a bridal shower and we were all going to that. So I was mortified, but not really because he's done this type of thing before in front of other people. I'm telling you... he's a class act. And not just saying I'm fat and ugly, but getting so descriptive so it's really hurtful. Well, I don't let it bother me that much because I've lost quite a bit for the wedding and I know I look good, but still that kind of thing can hurt even the most confident person. I know this isn't the most mature thing to do, but because I'm pissed now, I tell him at least I'm not a worthless failure who has no job, no friends, and has to live at home. Seriously that's ALL I said. And this really pisses him off. So what does he do? He gives me a sinsiter look, says Oops and then throws his mug of hot tea on my white dress. In front of my mom, aunt, and grandmother. When we're supposed to be leaving for the freaking shower.

So I burst into tears. Then it got slightly physical in that I lunged at him and he put me in a head lock and my mom pulled him off me, then ran upstairs. Just writing that I'm sure we sound like some white trash Jerry Springer family.

So I'm balling. My mom is so upset she literally goes to the bathroom and throws up. My aunt and grandmother comfort us both, we pull it together and go to the shower and everything involving that was fine.

After the shower, my cousin kept me busy so I wouldn't have to think or deal with my brother. My fiance is so mad he wants to put me in a hotel so I won't have to deal with him and said he's planning on literally beating him to a pulp for doing that. I talked to mom and she said he's really depressed and insecure because my sisters and I are well doing well in life and he has nothing going on right now. He's also really jealous about the wedding because I'm the complete center of attention right now. Mom's been acting kinda funny since I got here and now I realize its because of him. He's so ungrateful and doing nothing but working out which really is pointless since he should be looking for a job or studying for the GRE or smoking pot, which obviously kills her. I think she thinks she's failed as a mother with him. And it sucks because she's always been really protective of him but she knows he's really a trainwreck but doesn't to desert him. It's a weird dynamic, trust me.

I don't know if anyone has any advice or sugestions. This just sucks. I know one of the main reasons my brother is like this is because my parents have always coddled him. They really have given us everything in the world and it makes me so mad he's so disrespectful and hurtful to them. He has a major entitlement complex and thinks he's too good for everything. He's such a time bomb that I can't be around him because he's always hurling insults or being a beligerent know it all. And throwing his tea on me... who knows what other wonderful, immature tactics I can expect. I know I shouldn't have lunged after him even though he started it, but I was in the heat of the moment. He really is a mental case. Seriously. My mom mentioned sending him to rehab maybe that would help. I'm so scared about him causing a scene at the wedding but he's said that now he won't even come... like my parents would allow that.

And it sucks because my parents probably should let him go and fend for himself but they would never do that. That's just not their way.

I don't know. I'm here just for a while so I can focus on the wedding... supposedly this is supposed to be a happy time but now I have to deal with this mess. He has no where to go and I'm stuck here. My parents honestly try to get him to be decent but he's such an ignorant, mouthy brat that it does no good. Plus their yelling at him isn't that effective. They made him promise to look for a job tomorrow but he's been saying that all this time.

This just sucks. I want him to go away so everyone can be civil and not have to walk on pins and needles. Sorry for the long vent. I probably sound crazy too after you read all of this.