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Post Info TOPIC: when guys tell you their "number"...


Chanel

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when guys tell you their "number"...
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So, these two guys (friends of ours) were over the other night and my roommates were playing truth or dare with them. In short, they found out how many girls they've slept with and the number is VERY high, in my opinion. Think, triple digits and near.
Rule out embellishment (I'm pretty sure this is accurate, since they are decent guys and honest, plus we've seen them take people home..often..)
This is HIGH, right???? They are 24 and 28 and we live in NYC, btw. I know I shouldn't be so judgemental, but more than anything, it just put me in a weird mood. I just wonder if there are guys out there that still think sex means something and don't sleep with everyone. I don't think everyone needs to be in a defined bf/gf relationship to have sex, but for me, at least some sort of connection is necessary. Even if it's fleeting. But I certainly have not had that with 100+ people...

UGH, boys around here are pretty sleazy.

-- Edited by lynnie at 00:03, 2007-08-30

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Marc Jacobs

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wow...i'm shocked too! i haven't had many guys tell me their "number," but the highest was around 20-something. and even when this friend told me that 7 years ago i thought it was high then! to me that does sound really high, and to think they're just 24 and 28! when did they find the time to sleep with that many women?!

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Hermes

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Wow, that is really high. An ex of mine was like at 30 or something when we were dating (he was 24) and I just *hated* it. And everyone playfully calls him a slut all the time. Most of my guy friends are in the single digits, and there are guys who still think sex means something because my BF made me wait a long time, and I am his one and only smile.gif

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Gucci

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Yikes that seems high to me too. I know most of my guy friends numbers and they are no where near that. The highest is almost 30 and he is 30 so I feel thats more reasonable, but still high to me.

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Chanel

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I kind of think it depends on how social the guy is. I think most guys would sleep with that many women if they were able. I can understand how it would bother you - some women just aren't wired that way. Let's say a girl is in a relationship for a year or two and it's a sexually active relationship. She probably has a lot of sex. But if a guy is single for those same two years, he might have several partners but nowhere near the amount of sex the girl in the relationship has. It all depends on how you look at it, I guess.

To me, it can be disconcerting to hear a "number" but once the shock of it wears off, it's not that big of a deal. As long as a person practices safe sex, that's all that really matters to me. I would rather he slept with 300 women safely than 30 unsafely.

I'm not defending the mentality that it's cool to go out every night and look for a girl to sleep with but it is what it is, right? Boys are sluts, for sure. wink.gif I know we'd all like to think men are graceful, gentlemen-like creatures but they're not. They're dogs!

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Hermes

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Yeah, that's pretty gross. Especially for the 24 yo.

I think there are a lot of factors that contribute to whether or not a number is high, such as, age, amount of years single, etc. But that does seem incredibly high for someone so young.

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Dooney & Bourke

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Well, everyone lives by their own set of rules. As long as you find someone who lives by a set of rules close to yours, it won't matter anymore what other people are doing. In other words, there are still plenty of guys out there that sex does mean more than just a night of fun. I personally find it rather sleazy for a guy to sleep with triple digit amount of women....but at least they are honest about it. I mean, there's nothing worse than a guy like that lying to a girl and saying that they don't get around as often as they do. I think lying about it is more sleazy than them actually doing it

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Kate Spade

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Very high! Eek.

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Kate Spade

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I can't seem to rule out embellishment in my mind...What's that saying that when a woman tells you her number,you add to it and when a guy tells you his number you subtract? wink

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Dooney & Bourke

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Dont think there arent guys out there with the same mind-frame as you. There are!! If those really are your friends numbers, that is shocking!! I dont blame you for being weirded out about it.

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Chanel

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I'm skeptical that someone wouldn't lose track after 30, 50, whatever. To know the exact count makes it seem like these guys are "keeping score," and if so, that strikes me as sleazy.

To be fair, though, I'm middle aged, so my memory isn't as good as it was in my 20s, and I couldn't give ya anything close to a "number" these days. Having been monogamous for the last 12 years, anything before that is best left forgotten!

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Marc Jacobs

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Suasoria wrote:

I'm skeptical that someone wouldn't lose track after 30, 50, whatever. To know the exact count makes it seem like these guys are "keeping score," and if so, that strikes me as sleazy.


I agree! Holy crap, that's really high! ESPECIALLY for someone only 24. Obviously it's mathematically possible, but I'm more amazed that these guys were able to "seal the deal," to use sort of an icky phrase, that many times--because if they've slept with 100 girls, just think how many girls they hit on but got shut down by, and how many girls went home with them but just fooled around.

For what it's worth, though, there are plenty of guys around who are nowhere near that dedicated to the pursuit of ass. I don't know any of their numbers, but of my guy friends, my boyfriend and his unmarried friends (who are 30/31 years old), I'm sure most of them have had between 10 and 20 partners, with many even fewer than that. They've all had several serious girlfriends, and don't seem especially interested in pursuing one-night-stands when they're single. So take heart!



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Coach

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Yeah, it's high for their age.  They are man-sluts.  But it shouldn't surprise you too much, this is common.  Consider if they have had any long term girlfriends, consider when they started having sex. While it's highly promiscuous and indicates absolutely no restraint on their part, it's plausible.

I had a roommate years ago who at about age 22 was well on her way to the triple digits.  I knew she hooked up with a lot of guys, she was sort of a dominant girl and she always used protection.  One day I had to go in her room to find something and I came across a "list" on notebook paper she had written of all the guys she had slept with.  I knew it wasn't just a boyfriend or kiss list because the more recent names on the list were ones I was familiar with and they were strictly hookups.  At age 22, there were over 80 names.  Some of them were first names only!  The funny part was that next to the name and date, she would have a little one word note next to it, like the name of the bar where they met or whatever.  It was hilarious how organized she was about it. 

Once I did the math, I realized that it meant that in approximately a six year period, that meant she slept with a new guy about once a month.  She never had a long term boyfriend.  And during the summer that she was my roommate, she had gone above her monthly average, so I wouldn't be surprised if that number hit triple digits before she was 24.  biggrin

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Marc Jacobs

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perhaps these dudes are disciples of this guy:

http://www.themysterymethod.com/index.php

ick, ick, ick.

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Marc Jacobs

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I just wanted to say that I think that is completly disgusting and frankly I dont think anything worth bragging about. How gross!!!

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Marc Jacobs

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I think its a combination of things: 
1) someone was lying bc how could their numbers be so similar and they had 4 years between them?
2) men always embellish the #, if they feel your boobs you count as a # 
3) As stated above anyone who has been with over 30  women has no idea of what their true # is unless they have serious bookkeeping skills 
4) men in NYC are sluts I think. I think the female/male ratio is out of whack. As soon as there is a decent looking employed man in a bar, chances are theres 6 women on him. I swear Ive never seen this anywhere but NYC. 

I dont think all men are like this and I dont think its common. I think men go through phases sometimes and then it gets old and they do find meaning with sex.. just not with those kinds of girls... am I making sense?

-- Edited by XtinaStyles at 20:55, 2007-09-08

-- Edited by XtinaStyles at 20:59, 2007-09-08

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