STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

ranchera20 · Marc Jacobs

Married men who don't wear wedding rings

greendiamond · Marc Jacobs

I'm finding this discussion rather interesting. I wear a ring as does my husband (who is a personal trainer, actually). I asked him if he ever takes his ring off at work, and he said that he only removes it if he is working out and he is using a really heavy weight. Then, he takes it off and ties it in the drawstring of his workout shorts. He said his clients can't lift enough weight for him to be concerned about it bending his ring.

He has lost his ring twice, but we've found it each time.

Both of my parents have always worn one (except for the week they were on vacation and my dads ring fell off the boat into the lake - oops. They bought him a new one when they returned from vacation).

My husbands parents do not wear one. I guess my MIL had a ring at one point, but it fell off in a movie theater just after they were married, and they never found it. They are celebrating their 30th next month, and she has never had it replaced. He has never had a ring. I know my MIL would like one though. She just wears other rings that he has given her on her ring finger.

I just read an article last week about a man who was playing softball and got his hand caught in the outfield fence (I'm assuming it was chainlink). His ring finger tore off his hand, and was so destroyed that it could not be reattached. They didn't realize what had happened until they were at the hospital, when the wife went back to the field to look for the finger. Ew. So, even when doing something that one wouldn't assume was dangerous while wearing a ring can infact be dangerous. I wouldn't have suspected something like that could happen. I wonder what the odds are, that seems like a freak accident.

-gd

Kelly · Hermes

greendiamond wrote:

I know my MIL would like one though. She just wears other rings that he has given her on her ring finger.

I just read an article last week about a man who was playing softball and got his hand caught in the outfield fence (I'm assuming it was chainlink). His ring finger tore off his hand, and was so destroyed that it could not be reattached. They didn't realize what had happened until they were at the hospital, when the wife went back to the field to look for the finger. Ew. So, even when doing something that one wouldn't assume was dangerous while wearing a ring can infact be dangerous. I wouldn't have suspected something like that could happen. I wonder what the odds are, that seems like a freak accident.

-gd

Now that I think about it, on fancy occasions my mom does wear another ring my dad gave her instead of her wedding ring. It is huge and has a gazillion diamonds on it (diamonds? CZ? I don't know...it's pretty big!) He gave it to her for Christmas one year and she was just floored...so now when we go out to a nice dinner or something she always talks about busting out her "bling" biggrin

That is so crazy that the guy's finger came off. I mean, how could you possibly rip your finger off on a chain link fence? If my finger got caught I dont' even know if I would have the strength to pull it off if I wanted to!

halleybird · Hermes

ttara -- my stepmom does that too. She has a pretty 1ct diamond wedding set (and a ton of other beautiful rings) but she usually wears a bunch of CZ eternity bands from Banana Republic! LOL

My husband didn't wear his ring for the first 4-6 months after we were married. His original ring didn't fit well, and he had a hard time getting used to wearing a ring all the time. It bothered me a little bit at the time, but it doesn't really now. (He always takes his ring off when swimming, doing yardwork, etc. and forgets to put it back on.) The ring is just a symbol, you know? I know he wouldn't mind if I didn't want to wear mine. His parents have been married 30+ years, and I don't think his dad even has one. I think what's most important is that each couple is on the same page about the issue.

Sandy · Kate Spade

That's so weird... I just did a search yesterday to see if there was anything on ST like this. I was wondering about men and rings, too, because of a conversation I had with my boyfriend's grandmother.

My father never wears a wedding band. He works in construction and his hands are ruined so I'm sure if he did wear one, it would also be ruined. He wears my grandfather's ring --a gold band with black onyx and an "F" wrote out in small diamonds-- on special occasions, but never a wedding band. I'm actually not sure if he ever had one, come to think of it. My parents have been married for 27 years, by the way.

I plan to marry my boyfriend, and he hates jewelry. We had plain, white gold bands engraved with each other's names a few years ago, and he wore his for maybe three months before he couldn't stand wearing it anymore. That said, I wouldn't be upset if he didn't wear a wedding band 24/7. I would like if he wore it sometimes, though.

I don't think that there's anything weird or wrong with a man (or a woman, for that matter) not wearing a wedding ring. I do think there's something wrong with a married man (or woman) not wearing a ring and blatently flirting with another woman (or man...). That just screams sketchy.

Hermes

I'm glad to hear that some of you don't always wear your rings. I wish I could do that. for example, there's a watch I wear that looks odd with my wedding set (too clashy) so I prefer to wear just my wedding band with it. other times, I'm wearing white gold and I wear a white gold diamond ring with my platinum anniv. band. anytime I deviate from wearing my engagement ring, i get questions as to why I'm not wearing it - and it's not like I don't have a ring on! nosey people... I wonder what would happen if i didn't wear a ring at all! guess they would all figure I got a divorce overnight...

Kelly · Hermes

D wrote:

I'm glad to hear that some of you don't always wear your rings. I wish I could do that. for example, there's a watch I wear that looks odd with my wedding set (too clashy) so I prefer to wear just my wedding band with it. other times, I'm wearing white gold and I wear a white gold diamond ring with my platinum anniv. band. anytime I deviate from wearing my engagement ring, i get questions as to why I'm not wearing it - and it's not like I don't have a ring on! nosey people... I wonder what would happen if i didn't wear a ring at all! guess they would all figure I got a divorce overnight...

That's silly! You can't be expected to wear the whole set all the time, and an anniversary band is just as important as any other - it means that you actually stayed together forever like you promised with the first one! I guess during this discussion I've always figured that "wedding ring" really referred to any ring you wore on your ring finger that symbolized your marriage. For some people, there's only one ring that can do that. But for other people, there are multiple ones. I didn't even think to mention my mom's other ring until someone mentioned it, because I was thinking of just any ring on that finger "counting"

HeatherLynn · Gucci

D- My mom doesn't always wear her engagement ring either. She always seems (at least when I'm around) to wear the band, but often pairs it with different rings. I've never thought that was unusual.

My dad works with his hands and never wears his ring except when they (or we) go out to a nice dinner. I've, honestly, never thought twice about it.

When/if I get married I will wear mine I'm sure. I hope that my husband will wear his, but if he doesn't because he works with his hands I won't be upset at all. I would much rather him take it off than lose it!! I think if my husband is out bar hoping (with or without his ring) and talking to girls then chances are there are other issues besides him not wearing his ring. =)

kittenheels · Coach

I don't think it's too big of a deal if men don't wear a wedding ring, but it's sketchy if they ACT like they aren't married. I think lots of men didn't wear wedding rings and from living in France, it's not as common there as here.

I don't always wear my engagement ring because it gets in the way and snags on things. I always wear my wedding band though! Not like I run around acting unmarried and inappropriate though biggrin

blubirde · Chanel

Okay, maybe this is shallow but I have some awesome rings I like to wear when I go out (totally fashion jewelry - nothing fancy), and I don't see that changing if I had a wedding ring. I'd just leave the wedding ring at home and wear my "going out" jewelry. It never even occurred to me that people might ask me about it. D, you're right, that's terribly nosey!

To each their own, right?

Teresa · Kate Spade

i agree with the overall consensus. And I guess it wasn't him not wearing the wedding ring that bothered me, it was the fact that he acting NOTHING like a married man, I was going to ask him out on a date, for pete's sake.

littlebean · Kate Spade

ttara123 wrote:

D wrote:

I'm glad to hear that some of you don't always wear your rings. I wish I could do that. for example, there's a watch I wear that looks odd with my wedding set (too clashy) so I prefer to wear just my wedding band with it. other times, I'm wearing white gold and I wear a white gold diamond ring with my platinum anniv. band. anytime I deviate from wearing my engagement ring, i get questions as to why I'm not wearing it - and it's not like I don't have a ring on! nosey people... I wonder what would happen if i didn't wear a ring at all! guess they would all figure I got a divorce overnight...

That's silly! You can't be expected to wear the whole set all the time, and an anniversary band is just as important as any other - it means that you actually stayed together forever like you promised with the first one! I guess during this discussion I've always figured that "wedding ring" really referred to any ring you wore on your ring finger that symbolized your marriage. For some people, there's only one ring that can do that. But for other people, there are multiple ones. I didn't even think to mention my mom's other ring until someone mentioned it, because I was thinking of just any ring on that finger "counting"

I agree with ttara -- that's totally ridiculous! Nosy people.

luckylily · Gucci

blubirde wrote:

Okay, maybe this is shallow but I have some awesome rings I like to wear when I go out (totally fashion jewelry - nothing fancy), and I don't see that changing if I had a wedding ring. I'd just leave the wedding ring at home and wear my "going out" jewelry. It never even occurred to me that people might ask me about it. D, you're right, that's terribly nosey!

To each their own, right?

This is actually why I hardly ever wear my wedding ring. Rings are my favorite wearable item and I have an awesome collection of really cool rings that I've been collecting since forever. I can't even imagine wearing the same ring every day. I get that some girls like to have one beautiful piece that they wear all the time, but that's just not me.

I do get questions about it, but I mostly get compliments and curious questions.

AllieGurl · Marc Jacobs

My DH wears his on his right hand. He lost a ton of weight and his ring was the kind that was a seamless band that cant be resized so he just wears it on the other hand that is bigger. It actually doesnt bother me at all. I trust him completly and I know that his commitment to me is for life.

Also my dad has never worn a ring in the 35 years my parents have been married and they are very happy and faithful to each other.

I really think it depends on the guy - some are legit and honest and others are sleazy.

Sibeski · Dooney & Bourke

Hubby never, ever takes his ring off. I've brought it up a few times because there are times when I don't think he should wear it. I tell him it's better to not wear it then have to cut it off. He just shrugs and keeps on doing what he wants...boys.
I'm the one who always ends up not wearing my rings. I can't stand to do anything like lotion, dishes, etc. in them. It just drives me nuts. I try to make a consience effort to remember them on the way out, but sometimes I still forget.
I think there is a big difference between the men who don't wear their rings and love their wife and the men who asshats.

sydney · Kate Spade

br>Married men should not be at bars TRYING to pick up girls. If they are, they're sleazy jerkheads.

Yeah, to me it's not about the ring - total preference issue. It's about the actions.

dangergirl · Kate Spade

kittenheels wrote:

I don't think it's too big of a deal if men don't wear a wedding ring, but it's sketchy if they ACT like they aren't married.

ditto! neither of my parents wear their wedding rings as my dad's a gardener and my mum's a nurse so they would either get in the way, get dirty, or lost. my bf doesn't like the idea of wearing a ring for some reason, but i don't think it would bother me

kealoha · Kate Spade

kittenheels wrote:

I don't think it's too big of a deal if men don't wear a wedding ring, but it's sketchy if they ACT like they aren't married.

i totally agree. that's just plain ol' skanky. bleh

DH is a chef, so if he doesn't wear his ring, that's fine w/me. he's more concerned about it than i am, which i find sweet. smile

Suasoria · Chanel

When I was little my dad insisted on wearing his wedding ring even though at the time it seemed most other daddies didn't wear one. Now it's rare to see a man who doesn't wear one.

My husband wears his almost all the time - working out with weights or doing heavy yardwork being the exceptions.

D, I feel the same way. I love my ring but I don't want to wear it all the time, with everything. My ring is white gold and occasionally I like to wear yellow gold, e.g., and I don't like mixing. Also for some reason I've always preferred to wear rings on my right hand, so I've been switching my ring to the right occasionally to see if DH notices. I think he'd be a little annoyed if I didn't wear it at all.

And I could never do yoga with a ring on or any other jewelry.