STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Teresa · Kate Spade

Married men who don't wear wedding rings

Kelly · Hermes

I do find it weird. Actually, another forum I visit jus had a big discussion about this a few days ago. Apparently, a lot of husbands don't wear their wedding bands because they can be dangerous around machinery jobs or they don't bother to have their rings re-sized if they gain weight.

My dad owns an auto salvage, so he works with machinery every single day, and he still wears his 24/7. He actually had to get it cut off once because he gained weight or something and couldn't take it off himself. But because he never took it off, he didn't even realize that it was getting too tight until it was too late. When my mom went back to work, she suddenly had a plain band very similar to my dad's - I think that maybe he got a new one and she had his old one resized for her, although I'm not positive.

While I won't go as far as to say that men who don't wear rings are cheaters, because I know there can be reasons (like working with machinery) not to wear it, I will admit that if my husband didn't want to wear his ring I would be hurt, to say the least. And suspicious.

littlebean · Kate Spade

Personally, I think it's weird in general for married men not to wear their rings! If I were married, I would want my husband to wear a ring. But I don't necessarily think that it means they're up to something shady if they're not wearing it -- some people don't like wearing rings very much and some cultures (for example, a lot of European ones) don't seem to emphasize men wearing the ring nearly as much as ours does. It seems like the guy who was flirting with you was not behaving well, though!

pollyjean23 · Marc Jacobs

I think it is weird even though my dad never wore his during the 23 years my parents were married. He's very blue collar; and I think he felt weird even wearing a wedding band (men aren't supposed to wear jewelry). I honestly don't think my dad did it in order to flirt (unless it was with the seagulls on the dock where he works or something). He always talked about getting it caught on something and getting injured at work. It is a concern, but he was over zealous about it. Weird.

Teresa · Kate Spade

yeah...this guy is a personal trainer, so i guess it could bother him when HE works out, but not the other 95% of the day. I am just suspicious i guess. ugh. i hate men.

Rica · Kenneth Cole

ahhhh that so sucks! I think most men who don't wear a ring have a legitimate reason but there's always an exception and you, unfortunately, found him.

cat · Marc Jacobs

I think it's a little odd,all though in some work situations I can see not wearing it. I don't think a guy not wearing it means he is up to no good though.
It would make me uncomfortable if I was married and my husband never wore his.

It's kind of a funny story why,but my father didn't wear one for a few years when he had lost his and they couldn't afford a new one right then.

Years later when I was going though and getting rid of my old toys and stuff,I found in the back of a zippered compartment in a stuffed animal of mine my Dad's wedding ring and pair of earrings that were my Mother's.
I must have taken them and hidden them in there when I was Three or four years old. ashamed

rosie_the_riveter · Gucci

Ok, now I feel weird. I actually don't wear a wedding ring. I used to have a simple gold band but when I lost weight, it got too big and would slip off. I never took it in to get resized so I just got used to not wearing one. My husband doesn't seem to mind.

Lilykind · Hermes

I think it depends on the situation.

I think the PT was up to no good though. HATE when married men flirt like mad! furious

That said, I'm not going to be offended if my BF doesn't want to wear his wedding ring (we plan on getting married eventually) all the time, but I would be hurt if he didn't wear it during special occasions (i.e. dinner with his parents). I know he's never liked wearing anything restrictive or ornamental so not wearing the ring 24/7 wouldn't strike me as odd. I also don't place as much importance on the ring...to me, love is not just about the ring.

NCshopper · Hermes

I agree w/ Rica that while it doesn't necessarily mean he's up to no good, but there certainly are men out there whose intentions are to mislead women and that's a really crappy thing for everyone, especially if he's blatantly flirting.

MissMee · Kate Spade

I don't wear mine. Not because I don't want to or b/c I want attention (hello, 3 kids following me around!), but because I take them off to put on lotion and then forget about them. And keep on forgetting about them. and then my hands were swollen. And then I just forgot again. Plus all the diamonds always look dull because of lotion and doing dishes and stuff, so it's kind of a pain to always have to clean it.

Sorry for rambling. I'm still asleep.....

KaffeeKlatsch · Marc Jacobs

my auto reply was simply going to be 'are sleazy', but of course that's not fair to the men who legitimately can't wear theirs or who's wives don't care if they do.
the real irritation is the married men who go out to bars to flirt and take off their rings.
which....my ex did. ugh!

needsfashionadvice · Kate Spade

My DH doesn't wear his ring. His fingers are so skinny yet his knuckles are big. I had to get him a ring to fit over his knuckles but the problem with that is, then the ring is too big to stay where it's supposed to stay, it just kinda constantly moves and he doesn't like it. He's not really the jewelry type of guy anyway. It doesn't bother me, I wouldn't want to feel forced to wear my ring if I didn't want to (and some days I don't want to). You know you're married, what does it matter if everyone else does or not?

cinderella4282 · BCBG

leah_leanna wrote:

my auto reply was simply going to be 'are sleazy', but of course that's not fair to the men who legitimately can't wear theirs or who's wives don't care if they do.
the real irritation is the married men who go out to bars to flirt and take off their rings.
which....my ex did. ugh!

Whether the sleazy PT was wearing a ring or not, he should not be flirting if he's married! That's just jerky.

My parents have been married 25 years and my dad never wears his ring. He works with his hands and they are all calloused and now it won't fit. But he would never be in a bar flirting with women either.

Married men should not be at bars TRYING to pick up girls. If they are, they're sleazy jerkheads.

jrhampt · Kenneth Cole

Some people just don't exchange wedding rings (okay, my bf and I aren't planning to). I have an engagement ring, but that's it.

atlgirl · Gucci

I don't think it's weird. Every culture is different - some don't wear rings at all; many Europeans wear their wedding bands on the ring finger of the right hand; some people simply choose not to wear one, for whatever reason. To each their own.

My husband happily wears one, and my father never does. He doesn't even have one. He just doesn't wear jewelry. And my parents have just reached their 40th anniversary this year.

The trainer is an ass, definitely. But there are plenty of good ones out there for every guy who is trying to get some action on the side. Don't write all men off because of one prick.

luckylily · Gucci

Hmmm...I wear a ring most of the time, but not always. My husband does the same. I don't think its a big deal.

blubirde · Chanel

My dad has never worn one, at least not in my lifetime. He and my mom have been married 41 years. He says he lost it in Vietnam but a) I don't know if that's true and b) why not get another one? Either way, he obviously doesn't want to wear one and my mom doesn't care if he does. Of course I'd laugh my ass off if I saw my dad in a bar, much less hitting on a woman.

As for my current bf, although we're not anywhere close to getting married or talking about it, he hates rings and can't stand anything constricting on his fingers. When we first started dating, I used to put my rings on his pinky fingers just to freak him out. It's some kind of mental thing I guess - I don't know. If I got married, I'd like my husband to wear his ring, mainly because if I have to wear something that says "someone else's property" then so does he. But I can definitely see how some men aren't ring wearers. If the girl's okay with it, I don't suppose it matters very much.

And the PT? Total douche. Flirting with your cute, single client? Unacceptable.

Kelly · Hermes

needsfashionadvice wrote:

My DH doesn't wear his ring. His fingers are so skinny yet his knuckles are big. I had to get him a ring to fit over his knuckles but the problem with that is, then the ring is too big to stay where it's supposed to stay, it just kinda constantly moves and he doesn't like it. He's not really the jewelry type of guy anyway. It doesn't bother me, I wouldn't want to feel forced to wear my ring if I didn't want to (and some days I don't want to). You know you're married, what does it matter if everyone else does or not?

if either of you are bothered by this, my aunt's jeweler actually came up with a great solution to her large knuckles + small fingers dilemma (one I have myself)...the ring she got was kind of in an oval shape, so she could turn it sideways (longways) to get it on over the knuckle, and then once it's on she turns it right side up and it stays on much better.

I know that sounds like it would still just fall off sideways, but it really works

needsfashionadvice · Kate Spade

ttara123 wrote:
if either of you are bothered by this, my aunt's jeweler actually came up with a great solution to her large knuckles + small fingers dilemma (one I have myself)...the ring she got was kind of in an oval shape, so she could turn it sideways (longways) to get it on over the knuckle, and then once it's on she turns it right side up and it stays on much better.
I know that sounds like it would still just fall off sideways, but it really works

That's really interesting! There is also a website that you can send your ring too and they cut it and put a hinge in it so that it opens up and snaps on your finger, that way it doesn't have to go over the knuckle at all.

I don't mind that he doesn't wear it though.