STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

ILoveChoo · Hermes

lost/ confused

HeatherLynn · Gucci

I'm sorry honey! I don't have any advice, except to just hang in there and hopefully they will forgive you, as that is a huge part of life. I know that doesn't help for the time being though. Can you maybe call each of the girls individually and explain that you know you were insensitive and take full responsibility for it and ask for their forgiveness? At any rate, good luck!!

halleybird · Hermes

I just wanted to say that I am so sorry! As someone who *constantly* speaks without thinking, I totally understand. HL has some great suggestions.

NCshopper · Hermes

I'm sorry, Choo! It seems really unfair that they're bringing stuff up from years ago to argue with you about and it seems ridiculous that they're going to drop you as a friend because of one comment. Sheesh. Everyone messes up and they should cut you a break. I agree about calling them all individually. Also, I think there might be a case of "group think" here where they all just have gone along with each other because of the situation and not necessarily because they were that mad about what you said. Is there a girl that's kind of the leader of the whole group? If so, if you get her on your side, I'll bet you'd have an easier time with the others.

Also, for what it's worth, this is not going to mess up your WHOLE life. I know it feels like it, but it's not. If these girls are your friends, they'll come around. If they don't come around, then screw them. Seriously. You wouldn't judge a person just on one comment and if they were worth having as friends, they won't judge you.

AllieGurl · Marc Jacobs

They will get over it. And if they dont , then its there loss. We make mistakes, were human & everyone I know has said something they regreted in life.

Sandy · Kate Spade

I'm so sorry! If I had a nickle for every time I said something without thinking...

Just try to talk it out and apologize, and if it doesn't work screw 'em. I know it's easier said than done, but if your best friends can't understand a slip up like that, who can? I think it's really mean that they made you so sad and brought up past experiences. Your best friends know your personality and how much heart you have, and they should just forgive and forget.

On the bright side, I think it's awesome that you have two friends on your side, who are willing to go against the goup to support you. Maybe try to work out any awkwardness with them before dealing with the rest of the group.

blubirde · Chanel

One of the reasons I love my best friends is that I can say whatever I want, whatever little thing comes into my head, and I know they won't judge me. They'll call me out on it if it's stupid or mean or petty or whatever, but they won't judge. If I had a group of friends where I had to constantly watch what I said, I'd have real problems. Holding my tongue isn't a strength of mine and I go out of my way to avoid people with whom that might be an issue.

You're probably better off without friends who act like yours do. But, that said, I completely understand not wanting to lose a group of good friends, especially for something stupid. I second (third?) the idea of contacting them individually. Maybe if you accept all responsibility for the silly comment and apologize, they'll forgive you, although I think they should forgive you no matter what if they're really your friends.

I'm sorry this happened. The silver lining is that you know two people who will stand by you no matter what. That's always nice to know.

ILoveChoo · Hermes

-- Edited by ILoveChoo at 13:43, 2007-06-29

sydney · Kate Spade

Sometimes hurt takes awhile to get over. If they were good friends for so long, stick by the ones that have forgiven you and give it time to get past the akwardness. Maybe in time the rest will come along and if they don't, it won't be because you didn't try.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

I'm so sorry -- of course you're sad! That is an awful thing to go through. I have to say, it sounds so junior high for that ringleader girl to say "we can't be friends with you" -- whatever happened to people making up their own minds? Since you've tried apologizing you're doing everything you can to amend things. Don't be too hard on yourself -- you mentioned hating being the one who's coming between them. From what you've said about this group, I think they're coming between each other -- it's their own meanness that is causing problems, not what you said or did.