STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

honey · Gucci

clothing inferiority complex

cahabo · Kate Spade

I definitely can relate! I always remind myself though to be thankful for what I do have because I'm sure there are countless people out there that would love to have what I've got.

Lilykind · Hermes

I feel the same way and have been feeling like this A LOT lately.

I live super-close to Beverly Hills, walk to BH to shop (for better or worse), and do a number of errands there. If I was to break out the DVF dress/Tory Burch Revas, and the Paddy at once, all of a sudden the SAs grovel over me at Barneys/Saks/et. al. or when I go to open houses. I just don't feel that type of outfit is true to my personal style at all. But when I stick to my personal style, they all blow me off (too young? too cutesy? just too weird?). Overly label-driven individuals make me nuts. It doesn't help that they're all at least 6 inches taller than me, shop in 4 in. Louboutins, and have fake Ds that still fit into everything I curse at in the dressing rooms. If I don't keep things in perspective, I feel like a chubby midget stepsister.

I just need a small dose of reality though. I just spent a weekend outside the city. It was so refreshing to be in a suburban mall and suburban outlets where people aren't always dressed in the west coast "style" (our equivalent to the Manhattan girl "style"). I also keep reminding myself that what is most admired by The Sartorialist and most true fashionistas is the ability to rock high/low style together effortlessly.

PS: I can't imagine you ever looking dumpy. You have an amazing sense of style. smile

Drew · Gucci

I think it's ironic that you feel that way. I have admired your style so much over the years. You are the epitome of NYC style to me! I would feel subconcious about my quant little conservative look standing next to you. Ironic, I say.

Teresa · Kate Spade

Lilykind wrote:

I feel like a chubby midget stepsister.

lmao

pollyjean23 · Marc Jacobs

I work with someone who consistnently dresses well. She doesn't wear labels for everyone to see (like an LV Bag or anything else obvious); she just always looks well-put-together. Fresh, simple, effortless.

She buys mostly from JCrew and always looks great. I'm still a fashion-novice who likes to try things/take chances. On those days when my experiements fail, it's hard to be around her. I totally feel icky.

It doesn't help that she unconsciously does that "Long Island Lookover" thing to me. You know, she looks me up and down--checking out my clothes--when she greets me in the morning. She's a nice person, but she has that annoying habbit. It's like middle school or something.

I feel ya.

ViViDogWear · Kate Spade

I can totally relate Honey. I work in manufacturing in the high end clothing sector as well. There are the girls who wear designer everyday. But there are also girls who don't dress that cute as well.

What I've come to realize is that "we" might see those "other girls" and maybe have a clothing/hair/etc inferiority complex, but not notice that we also give other girls an inferiority complex.

I think you're style is great and you have nothing to fret about. On those feeling dumpy days - just whip out a pair of heels or smack on some awesomelip gloss! hth~

lynnie · Chanel

oh gosh, in some parts of manhattan...i swear. its a frickin competition. I know what you mean. I work in fashion too, but luckily i'm in brooklyn 80% of the time. so i don't have to deal w/devil wears prada scenarios at the conde nast building.
Just think of it this way- you never know what people will admire about your style. People that have a ton of money might be able to buy the labels but be jealous of amazing vintage finds. And if anything, all those labels are just obnoxious. I do like having a nice wallet (i always get compliments on my red comme des garcons one, and people that understand fashion, more so than labels, admire it.) more than a nice handbag for that reason. I ALWAYS feel uncomfortable if i feel like someone can "price" my outfit. Balenciaga bag- $1500. DVF dress- $400. Louboutins- $700. Cartier watch- $5000. etc. Because around here, people definitely do that and it makes me sick. I'd rather have people like something based on design, and not necessarily be able to link it back to anything. also, in a city where money flows like water, its impossible and pointless to compare. But according to my logic- she should be jealous of YOU =)

littlebean · Kate Spade

I relate! There are always so many things that I wish I could have but just can't afford -- and shouldn't afford since I would rather go on a great vacation (or have money in my savings account) than buy another pair of shoes. It is hard, though. I was at a fancy mall over the weekend and saw several mother-daughter duos that were dressed to the nines in designer clothes and the moms were buying their daughters all the things I wished I could buy for myself. My eyes were so green with jealousy! I try to remind myself that I do have a lot, and that you can't buy style. But it is hard.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

I can totally relate too. I used to work in fashion and found that some of the women in my office were in debt, possibly from trying to keep up, and people also began to treat me better after I started to dress more fashion-y. It definitely wreaked havoc with my self-esteem at times.

I think I dress better now than I did back then anyway, but there are still days when I'll feel fine and see a girl all decked out in the Manhattan style and suddenly feel like frump queen, especially if she has perfectly smooth, shiny hair (while I have curly hair that can go crazy and frizzy in the summer).

FWIW, Honey, you have always had on seriously fab things whenever I've seen you! And I think that is more true NYC style than being a slave to labels.

Kelly · Hermes

Thankfully I'm not part of any kind of community or lifestyle where I ever feel intimidated by not having super nice or expensive designer things. First of all, if I did have designer stuff I doubt anyone around me would actually notice at all. Secondly, sometimes I feel like people look down on me because I do like to be pretty or dress nicely. That sounds dumb, but I live in an artsy/punky city. When I go to the bar down the block, I think most people there actually look down on me because I am wearing things that are pretty or nice. Everyone else is in ripped jeans and T-shirts they found at goodwill that show off their sleeve tattoos. I have no problem with that style because I actually think a lot of people can pull it off well, but it makes me feel uncomfortable because I know many people are judging me because my style is a lot more polished and classic and, admittedly, costs more than a Goodwill wardrobe.

But I can understand why you would feel that way. I know I definitely would have an inferiority complex if I lived in an environment like that. Like the other girls said...I'm sure you don't even realize how often people are admiring your outfits. I admire so many more people with original style, and I never even tell them. I just admire them from across the street.

jj · Kate Spade

lynnie wrote:
Just think of it this way- you never know what people will admire about your style. People that have a ton of money might be able to buy the labels but be jealous of amazing vintage finds. And if anything, all those labels are just obnoxious.

I absolutely agree with lynnie on this - you never know what other people are thinking and they are probably more jealous that you don't have to shell out the big bucks to look fabulous.

FWIW, I always feel clothing inferior when people look more polished that me - they never wrinkle, rumple, everything fits and pairs together effortlessly no matter if it's from the gap or gucci, while I feel all haphazard and overheated and rumpled. But I have been trying to admire instead of being envious, and try to pick up a tip or two.

wetbandit42 · Marc Jacobs

I feel like that sometimes too, but most of the time (well, at least when I live at home for the summer at my mom and dad's house in a small mid-west city), I feel the same way as ttara.

My friends constantly ask why I spend money on nice things (like my Chloe purse) and they look down on me for wanting to look nice and have nice things. Like yesterday, I was wearing gold ballet flats and one of my male friends laughed when he saw them. cry

He actually asked me if I was wearing them so I could ballet dance.

I think we all sometimes feel like the dumpy one people are staring at, but I think most of the time it's self-imagined.

The girls here are praising your style, so I bet most of the time people are looking at YOU and thinking, damn that girl is stylish! smile

sephorablue · Marc Jacobs

I went through a huge phase of this when I started my current job last fall--it's not fashion but sort of fashion-related (high-end closets to be exact), and all of our clients are extremely wealthy and fashion-oriented, and I definitely felt kind of dumpy around them for a while. But I think now I'm at a point where I've accepted that I'll never even remotely be able to keep up, so I'm not even going to try--as long as I look reasonably put-together and polished I feel fine. It's also helped me to channel the more sort of vintage/indie elements of my style, that way I'm actively cultivating a different look from the Vogue staffer/socialite look that many of our clients seem to have.

Kitty · Hermes

Ever since taking the new job I haven't felt inferior because of my clothes..but I feel hugely fat. Most of the people that come in the store are super tiny...and I generally feel really chubby. It's starting to really bother me...