STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

sephorablue · Marc Jacobs

ugh

littlebean · Kate Spade

First of all: Congratulations on presenting your thesis!!! That certainly is a big accomplishment -- you must feel so proud and relieved.

So onto the topic of your post: Oooh, I would be upset, too! The fact that he's being kind of inconsiderate would be made so much more annoying to me considering that he is at a bachelor's party! I hate when my boyfriend goes to bachelor's parties to begin with.

I actually had a somewhat similar experience once with my boyfriend, too, when we were apart and he forgot something academically that was a big deal to me. I was really angry/hurt. All in all, though, my boyfriend is really considerate and once a year he just has these brain freezes. Assuming that things are going well with you guys in general, I'm sure that once you tell him how this hurt your feelings (and if you're like me, yell at him a bit, haha), he will apologize profusely and things will get back to normal. It's certainly possible that he's just forgotten his phone charger, etc., and it's bad luck.

Anyhow, congratulations again! And sorry for this annoyance.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

I second the congratulations! What an accomplishment! Do something super nice for yourself.

As for your boyfriend, I would be very hurt by that too. Is this the kind of thing he usually does, or is it out of character? Is it indicative of something he does in general that you're not happy about? I would explain to him how I felt and see how he reacted.

sephorablue · Marc Jacobs

littlebean, he actually DID forget his charger (ha) but he has his blackberry and that was working at least as of last night... also if he'd thought about it at all I'm sure he could have found a computer kiosk without too much effort!

The depressing thing is, something like this HAS happened before. My birthday falls over Thanksgiving weekend, and this past year we were visiting our respective families and it completely slipped his mind. He's not usually this inconsiderate to me, but it's starting to seem as though I'm sort of "out-of-sight, out-of-mind" with him. At least as far as his capacity to remember important dates in my life goes.

Argh. The crappiest thing is, the more time goes by without an email from him, the more upset I'm getting, and I can't even call him up and yell at him.

Gr!

AllieGurl · Marc Jacobs

Um yeah, I would be super pissed. Obivously the BF realizes how much hard work you have put into this, so I really dont see how it could just slip his mind?

kittenheels · Coach

I am so sorry. This is a big achievement for you and should be celebrated! I think guys can be a little obtuse in general to these sort of things, but I'm sorry he didn't mention it. I hope he calls and is appropriately contrite soon! Please go out and celebrate or do something nice for yourself in the meantime!

XtinaStyles · Marc Jacobs

Congrats to you! If I were you I would put my mind off of it, go get a manicure, go shopping, have a night out with the gals. He is probably so overwhelmed with the traveling/vegas/not having a phone/bachelor party thing it probably slipped his mind or he is meaning to talk about it when he has more time. I would just get if off my mind, bc the more you think the more upset you will be. Girlfriend upset+inconsiderate boyfriend at bachelor party = big blowout fight (if you ask me). Try to chill out and relish in the fact that you are DONE with it and you have made such an accomplishment. I'm sure his accolades will come when he gets back/clears his mind.

-- Edited by XtinaStyles at 15:08, 2007-05-13

blubirde · Chanel

Oh man. I'd be foaming at the mouth right now if I were you. I cannot stand to be ignored, intentionally or because of lack of thought. I mean, please. The girls on ST thought to congratulate you being done and he can't even bother to contact you? Unacceptable.

I had a bf once who disappeared around my bday for a few days. I didn't even know what town he was in (we were in college and traveling home - similar areas - on different days). Turns out he was off with his "boys" having an end of semester multi-day party, but he didn't bother to call me one time. (Can you tell I'm still angry?) My bday party comes around and he shows up, as planned, although still no calls, and gives me a beautiful sapphire ring for my gift. Unfortunately I was so angry that everyone thought I was a complete bitch for not being amazingly happy with his gift. I don't really know the point of me sharing this story with you except to say that it really hurt me, how small I seemed in his world right then - even though he'd thought enough to do some kind of "gesture" at a group bday party. And I'm still mad about it.

I guess what I'm saying is that you shouldn't put up with it. Those (not calling before/after your presentation) are the kinds of things that build up resentment in a relationship. You deserve someone who is willing to care about you, even when faced with a bachelor party with friends. I'm not advocating breaking up with your bf - that's totally your thing. But I am advocating letting him know how a big a deal it is to you and how he needs to change his priorities if he wants to keep a great girl like you around.

Sucks, sephorablue. I feel ya.