STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

letting bridesmaids pick out their own dresses?

Alikat · Kate Spade

I'm kind of anal, so I picked two dresses for my girls to choose from.

However, I have known a lot of girls who had their bridesmaids choose their own dresses. I think this can work great- but you definintely need to set down some guidelines otherwise it can be stressful for your bridesmaids. For example, my sister's friend had her choose a dress from a swatch of fabric, told her it was pretty casual, and it turned out great.

Here is a thread on the subject on Indiebride.

-- Edited by Alikat at 21:06, 2007-04-02

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

Thanks, Alikat! I was thinking of asking them all to get a dress in a certain color. My MOH and I both love reds and pinks so it will probably be somewhere in that range.

small fry · Chanel

I let my bridesmaid pick out their own dresses but they had to be the same color. Some of them felt comfortable in covering their arms while some liked the bare arms. I just wanted them to be comfortable in their dresses.

Elle · Hermes

I only had two bridesmaids, so we just went shopping together and found a dress they both agreed on and looked great in. We just tried to keep it relatively inexpensive, and I said I'd prefer knee length and a brown-ish color. They chose their own shoes/jewelry and stuff too.

rlutz · Chanel

i let my bridesmaids pick out there own dresses...i gave them a color range and showed them fabric swatches for example (lilac to med/dark purple)and then they picked out their own dresses.

Eurodaisy · Dooney & Bourke

I had four bridesmaids, and they picked out their own dresses, too. I got married right out of college, and I wanted them to do whatever was most individually cost-effective. Plus each bridesmaid was a different age and height, so it would have been hard to pick something to suit all of them. My only requirements were that the dresses be black and fall somewhere between the knee and mid-calf. It worked out very well... just one less thing for me to stress about.

jah · Dooney & Bourke

I was in a wedding where the bride had us pick our dress. She sent us to a bridesmaid site, told us the color and let us pick from the designers line which one we wanted. Interestingly, all 6 of the bridesmaids picked a different dress! It looked really good in pics and everyone had something flattering. Loved the concept!

halleybird · Hermes

I did. I think it works well if, like jah said, the line is the same, but different styles are available. Or if you go with black. I wanted blue, and my bridesmaids didn't want to spend a lot (and were of varying ages) and it was a pain! I wouldn't do it that way again.

-- Edited by halleybird at 19:06, 2007-04-04

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

you mean you wouldn't let them pick their own again? how was it a pain -- did they keep wanting different colors than what you wanted, or saying everything was too expensive? thanks in advance!

halleybird · Hermes

scarlett wrote:

you mean you wouldn't let them pick their own again? how was it a pain -- did they keep wanting different colors than what you wanted, or saying everything was too expensive? thanks in advance!

yep. Part of the reason is that, with blue, they really have to be the same shade to work, and they (and I) didn't want traditional bridesmaid's dresses. So I left it up to them to find some ideas, but they didn't have much. So I found a whole bunch, and then they couldn't agree. We finally found cute cotton dresses from Victoria's Secret, but when they came in, they were poor quality. So we all headed to the mall. My MOHs ended up with bluish-green sundresses from Express (the only thing they both sort of liked), and my BMs (my sisters) wore white cotton strapless dresses with sashes that matched them MOHs dresses. I actually had to change the whole color scheme because of the stupid MOH dresses. I originally was picturing a cornflower blue, but ended up with an aqua/blue-green. And I found out later that they didn't even really like the dresses much anyway! I would have been better off just picking something!

Anyway, I think it would work well if you pick a BM dress designer who has several different styles in the same or complementing colors, or if your BMs wore black. I just didn't think it through!

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

that does sound like a big pain. how annoying! i can definitely see why you'd do it differently.

my maid of honor lives in california, and out of the bridesmaids only one lives near me, so i can't really go shopping with them together. two of them don't care about clothes at all (one in particular hates dresses as a rule, but said she doesn't mind getting one for this), and of course they are all different body types and different colorings. so it's going to be tricky.

i'm kind of afraid the dresses i like most and would want them to wear will cost more than any of them, except my MOH, would want to spend, but it could be i'm underestimating and just overly afraid of inconveniencing anyone. so far the bridesmaid dresses i like most are vera wang; i wore one of hers to my brother's wedding and it was about $300. i have over a year until the wedding so there's plenty of time to figure this out.

halleybird · Hermes

scarlett wrote:

that does sound like a big pain. how annoying! i can definitely see why you'd do it differently.

my maid of honor lives in california, and out of the bridesmaids only one lives near me, so i can't really go shopping with them together. two of them don't care about clothes at all (one in particular hates dresses as a rule, but said she doesn't mind getting one for this), and of course they are all different body types and different colorings. so it's going to be tricky.

i'm kind of afraid the dresses i like most and would want them to wear will cost more than any of them, except my MOH, would want to spend, but it could be i'm underestimating and just overly afraid of inconveniencing anyone. so far the bridesmaid dresses i like most are vera wang; i wore one of hers to my brother's wedding and it was about $300. i have over a year until the wedding so there's plenty of time to figure this out.

I tried to keep mine cheap because 3 of my BMs were my sisters, and my MOH was my SIL, and our families were paying for a lot already. But you could always find out (discreetly) what they'd like to pay and then offer to pay the difference, which is what I should have done. Or, since you have over a year, you could order them from a place like netbride or another wholesaler, and probably save some money that way!

Alikat · Kate Spade

scarlet, I seriously considered the "choose your own dress" as well. Eventually I decided just to pick something - but I did want to choose dresses the girls would find easy to purchase and hopefully wear again.

I think J. Crew and Ann Taylor dresses, while a tad expensive are good for this because they are nice and basic. Plus very easy to buy.

Another idea is Aria Bridesmaids. This dressmaker has a ton of styles but in the same fabric and lengths - so you could assign colors and let them pick the style. Check out their album, it has lots of great ideas.

-- Edited by Alikat at 11:58, 2007-04-06

Kincali · Dooney & Bourke

halleybird wrote:

scarlett wrote: you mean you wouldn't let them pick their own again? how was it a pain -- did they keep wanting different colors than what you wanted, or saying everything was too expensive? thanks in advance!yep. Part of the reason is that, with blue, they really have to be the same shade to work, and they (and I) didn't want traditional bridesmaid's dresses. So I left it up to them to find some ideas, but they didn't have much. So I found a whole bunch, and then they couldn't agree. We finally found cute cotton dresses from Victoria's Secret, but when they came in, they were poor quality. So we all headed to the mall. My MOHs ended up with bluish-green sundresses from Express (the only thing they both sort of liked), and my BMs (my sisters) wore white cotton strapless dresses with sashes that matched them MOHs dresses. I actually had to change the whole color scheme because of the stupid MOH dresses. I originally was picturing a cornflower blue, but ended up with an aqua/blue-green. And I found out later that they didn't even really like the dresses much anyway! I would have been better off just picking something!

Anyway, I think it would work well if you pick a BM dress designer who has several different styles in the same or complementing colors, or if your BMs wore black. I just didn't think it through!

I agree with everything Halley said because I'm going through the same thing right now!

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

this thread has been very educational! i started out thinking letting them pick their own dresses would be easiest, but i see now how it can get complicated.

halley, that is a great idea about paying the difference! i will find out (discreetly) what they are okay with paying and then go from there.

fairlight, i hope things go better with your bridesmaid dress situation. :)

littlebean · Kate Spade

I just wanted to throw out there that many people I know who have gotten married recently have made purchasing the bridesmaids' dresses their "gift" to the bridesmaids instead of buying something separately as a thank you gift. If you can swing covering all or part of the dresses, I think that this is a fantastic idea and definitely makes the whole process easier for everyone!

sfclinevandy · Coach

littlebean wrote:

I just wanted to throw out there that many people I know who have gotten married recently have made purchasing the bridesmaids' dresses their "gift" to the bridesmaids instead of buying something separately as a thank you gift.

That's what I'm doing. Even if they don't love the dress or ever wear it again, they won't have to pay for it.

erin · Chanel

littlebean wrote:

I just wanted to throw out there that many people I know who have gotten married recently have made purchasing the bridesmaids' dresses their "gift" to the bridesmaids instead of buying something separately as a thank you gift. If you can swing covering all or part of the dresses, I think that this is a fantastic idea and definitely makes the whole process easier for everyone!

god, i would have loved if my sister did this.

we were able to choose our own gowns, but that doesn't mean it was any less expensive, or that i ever got to wear it again! just a caveat to this - you would think that choosing means each girl picks something flattering, but one of the bridesmaids who was like a 40EEEEE chose a strapless dress weirdface

jah · Dooney & Bourke

Just as an FYI - in the wedding where I got to pick my dress, we purchased them from thread www.threaddesign.com.

As an option, you could go with a bridesmaid site with a large selection, pick a handful of styles you like in the color you want and then let your bridesmaids pick from that selection.

On the note of thread, I would highly recommend them. The ordering process went smoothly, the dress fit like a dream and the price was very affordable!