STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Maat · Kenneth Cole

How could someone be so heartless?

Maat · Kenneth Cole

Ladies, I'm so sorry you have had to go through this, too. I obviously know how terrible it feels. Thanks for your stories. It's good to know I'm not alone (although it's not good to know that some jerk did that to you!).

blubirde · Chanel

Maat wrote:

I just ambushed him by calling with my number blocked. I'm home from work today and decided that he at the very least had to experience the discomfort of having to explain himself. I stayed calm and asked him why he would just stop calling. I told him that it was really mean and probably the worst way ever to break things off with someone. He was really cold on the phone. He just kept saying he didnt know why he did it. He also said he thought it was the best thing since the last couple times we spoke I was upset with him. I told him that I can't look back at anything we did as being happy or fun because I feel like he was full of shit the whole time. He just said I can believe whatever I want. I really tried to drag a reason out of him and couldn't. I really felt like I was speaking to someone who couldn't care less about me. Such a difference from all the stuff he was saying to me when we were dating. I just can't understand why someone would be so awful to someone who was so nice to them. I feel like I will never get over this. :( I feel so betrayed, used, and like I am a terrible judge of character.

You're not a terrible judge of character. Just look at all the girls on this thread alone who've had similar situations. People who want to fool you will. That's just the way it goes. I'm so sorry he's such a jerk! Man - your posts make me want to kick his ass. But a) I'm a pacifist and b) I don't know him. Boo. Some people can turn their feelings on and off. I don't think that's a compliment. Don't let this awful, awful person keep you from being open to new relationships and people. He's the bad guy, not you. And trust me, karma will do him some serious damage.

XtinaStyles · Marc Jacobs

Maat,

What a horrible thing you are going through, especially after being able to finally get through to him and still not getting any answers. I have dealt with this situation on a smaller level. I had a 6 month relationship with a guy who made plans for me to meet his grandmother and cousins in PA (we were in NY), scheduled a time for us to take the train together, then stood me up that night and never ever called me back. After that was done with, I met my current boyfriend (of 3 years) who is much more of a man than the other guy will ever be.

So my point in all of this is no, its not what you did, and no you're not a bad judge of character. Sometimes people have no spines and cannot confront others. Personally, I feel that it happens more so with men than women bc women are better at communicating and expressing their wants/needs. I know it sounds impossible but you should consider yourself lucky that you found out sooner than later what kind of a person he is and that you haven't wasted any more time on him. Let your new location inspire you into meeting new people. You will get there, just don't blame yourself!

jacks435 · Kenneth Cole

I'm so sorry this happened to you! Sometimes people act in ways that just can't be explained, and it's awful that their actions result in such pain and hurt. You totally don't deserve that kind of treatment, and nothing you did could have prevented or caused it. But echoing everyone else's posts -- it is NOT your fault, and in time, you will get over him and meet someone worthy of you.

kittenheels · Coach

I am so sorry. That is really cruel. I wish I knew why people are so mean, but I have no idea. I hope you take it easy and be gentle to yourself until you're feeling a bit better! And, I do believe in karma, so he's getting all that negative energy back again!

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

Ugh, I am so mad on your behalf! Like the other ladies said, you did absolutely nothing wrong. You're not a bad judge of character and this is not your fault. You trusted him because he did everything right, and then with no warning he pulled the rug out from under you. This has happened to me before too, and I remember thinking, "since when is it okay to see a person naked on a regular basis and then disappear with no explanation?" It is a really crappy thing to do. Please don't let this make you doubt yourself or blame yourself.