STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Metric · Gucci

Letting someone down easy Update-help me!

Kelly · Hermes

Letting someone down easy

Elle · Hermes

ttara123 wrote:

I don't think you have to tell him in person. Going out twice isn't big enough to require that. If it were me, I'd probably just not answer his call... but if he calls more than once, I'd answer and when he asks you out just say "Sorry, I can't." You don't have to explain why.

I agree. IMO in this situation, having a big 'I'm not interested' conversation would be unnecessarily hurtful. I'd also avoid only his first call, and after that just tell him you have plans or are filling in for someone at work if he asks you out again.

Eurodaisy · Dooney & Bourke

I think it would be fine to just avoid him... he'll get the picture. There's no need to confront him with the fact that he's not for you (unless he gets pushy!).

AllieGurl · Marc Jacobs

Elle wrote:

ttara123 wrote:

I don't think you have to tell him in person. Going out twice isn't big enough to require that. If it were me, I'd probably just not answer his call... but if he calls more than once, I'd answer and when he asks you out just say "Sorry, I can't." You don't have to explain why.

I agree. IMO in this situation, having a big 'I'm not interested' conversation would be unnecessarily hurtful. I'd also avoid only his first call, and after that just tell him you have plans or are filling in for someone at work if he asks you out again.

Ditto. I wouldnt be having some big drama conversation with this guy who you have only had 2 dates with. Totally unnessary! I think the girls above gave great advice.

XtinaStyles · Marc Jacobs

OK this may not be the best advice but back in college, I had a friend who would always get into this situation. We devised a solution that has worked on several occasions (I used it too). When he calls you be nice but tell him there's something you want to tell him... you've been talking to your ex and you're going to try to work things out with him. You're sorry but want to be honest and not hurt anyone's feelings before its too late.

I know its horrible but it works every time. Usually the guys sympathize with you and you come off like the good guy bc you were honest (although you lied). Am I evil for suggesting and trying this one??

Kelly · Hermes

The thing I'd be worried about with Xtina's suggestion is that he knows other people in your life, who might spill the beans about you being single still. Also, if the rumor gets around that you're trying to work things out with an ex, other hotties in those circles might stay away because they think you're taken.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

RE: Letting someone down easy Update-help me!

blubirde · Chanel

Ha! What nerve! I wouldn't feel bad texting him back and saying you're busy but thanks anyway. Weirdo.

FashionPrincess · Hermes

scarlett wrote:

I agree, that is a little presumptuous! And doing it via text message is overly casual so soon in dating someone, IMO. I would write back and say something like "sorry, I already have plans" and leave it at that. And if he keeps asking you out and isn't getting the hint, then maybe you could say that you just don't think you're a good match. I would hope he does get the hint and stops asking, but if he doesn't I think (at least in my experience) it's good to just nip it in the bud and be honest but nice and not make up other stories.

Agreed.

ico · Dooney & Bourke

scarlett wrote:

I agree, that is a little presumptuous! And doing it via text message is overly casual so soon in dating someone, IMO. I would write back and say something like "sorry, I already have plans" and leave it at that. And if he keeps asking you out and isn't getting the hint, then maybe you could say that you just don't think you're a good match. I would hope he does get the hint and stops asking, but if he doesn't I think (at least in my experience) it's good to just nip it in the bud and be honest but nice and not make up other stories.

my thoughts exactly!

Farrah · Marc Jacobs

I would just send him a text and tell him that you aren't available on Saturday night. Leave it at that.

AllieGurl · Marc Jacobs

Farrah wrote:

I would just send him a text and tell him that you aren't available on Saturday night. Leave it at that.

Deffinitly. you dont owe him an explanation.

Maat · Kenneth Cole

I don't think you owe him anything. You only went out twice (I mean, unless you gave him reason for hope of the future, like talking about doing something this summer, being intimate, etc., it would be acceptable to just not respond. I don't consider texting as equivalent to a call so I definitely wouldn't respond in this case. He wasn't even trying hard enough for you to have to go through the effort of "breaking up" with him. If he calls, I would not call back maybe once, but if he tries again, do him (and yourself!) a favor and just answer and make some excuse like you realized you are not ready to date because you are not over your last relationship. I wouldn't advise just saying you aren't available Saturday. Then he will just call again and you will still be having this problem a week from now because very often guys just don't get the hint.