A few months ago I got a new car. It's a 2007 Ford 500 limited in a fabulous green color. I absolutely love it. I told my husband that it was such a nice car...it made me feel like a grown up. He kind of chuckled at me and said "we *are* grown up" lol. Which is true...I'm 27 and been living on my own for about 8 years now. I just wondered if anyone else didn't really feel like a grown up for awhile and what made you finally feel like a grown up?
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"Thanks to Stephenie Meyer everytime I hear thunder, I imagine vampires playing baseball."
Some things that have given me a hint of that feeling though:
Going on my first vacation with Mr. Elle - by ourselves! Everytime we move cities/states. Buying our house. Seeing my parents faults, and being able to see them as people instead of just 'my parents'.
Honestly though, I think I probably won't feel like an actual grown up until I have a grandchild! That seems very grown up to me !
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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment ~ {Ralph Waldo Emerson}
I don't feel like a grown up... but of course, right now I'm just shy of 21, though...
But I have thought about this a lot, even though it sounds weird: recently my parents have inherited a few houses, and I'm pretty sure that they'll let me live in one rent-free at least for a while after I graduate and until I'm steady on my feet. But I wouldn't be shocked if they let me live rent-free until I get married. But then again, I'd feel foolish coming to them with engagement news if I wasn't 100% self-supporting yet!
I think that's all that's keeping me from feeling like an adult: they still help me out financially a bit, since I go to school full-time and can't work enough to support myself completely. And I'm still on their health insurance.
Anyway, I don't feel grown up now, but I expect it will either be when a) I don't get any support from my parents, including free rent or b) when I get engaged. Whichever comes first!
-- Edited by ttara123 at 16:23, 2007-02-20
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Fashion is art you live your life in. - Devil Wears Prada | formerly ttara123
I still don't, despite all evidence to the contrary. I'm 27, live in my own apartment, have a 'grown-up' job, pay all my bills, etc, etc, etc. But I still don't feel like a grown-up. Half the time, I still feel like I live like I did when I was in college-- which really, isn't such a stretch b/c I still eat cereal for dinner and pizza for breakfast. So, maybe when I stop doing that, I'll feel like a grown-up.
Or maybe it's the fact that I'm single (meaning, not married and/or living with an SO) that makes me feel like this, too. I think I felt more like a grown-up when I was living with my ex.But in any case, at this moment in time, at 27 years old, I do not feel like a grown-up. At. All.
I'm 25 and have been financially independent from my parents for years, and have been living with my boyfriend for 4 years. Sometimes I don't feel like much of a grown up. I am the youngest attorney in my small group at work, so sometimes work makes me feel really young, like an imposter in the grown up world.
When my boyfriend cooks dinner and we eat together at the dining room table I feel like a grown up. Ha! Elle wrote:Going on my first vacation with Mr. Elle - by ourselves!
Elle, this would for sure feel grown up! I haven't done this yet.
About a year after I became financially independent. Before that, I still felt like a teenager. I thought being married would make me feel grown up, but it took about a year of paying all our own bills and like Elle, planning a vacation entirely on our own.
I've been feeling more and more of a grown-up over the last two years (I'm 29), starting with when my favorite grandmother died and my college roommate's fiance got killed in Iraq. Shortly thereafter, my little sister had a baby and my little brother got married. Now my fiance is thinking about having to care for his father, my baby sister is graduating from college, and my baby brother is graduating from high school. It's death, birth, and the shifting of the generations that does it for me.
I'm 26 and still don't feel much like a grown up. I've been married for 3 years, financially independant since I graduated from college, etc. but I don't think I'll really feel like a grown up until I have a baby. Plus me and my sister are the "babies" of the family so all my older sisters and brother still make me feel like a kid.
A lot of your answers really surprise me. I felt grownup as soon as I graduated college a year-and-a-half ago. My mother still helps me out a bit with money (she has these huge unexplainable waves of guilt for making me pay for a lot of my own things during high school and college, though I tell her she actually helped me financially more than most of my friends' parents did--I take it because it helps me soooo much) but I definately do not feel like a kid anymore. I do think living with my boyfriend is a large factor in that--for example, I now cook meals every night whereas before I would eat random stuff at random times...I think one of the first times I had a "grownup" moment was one weekend when we had to decide between going out drinking or going to an early brunch the next day--there was no way we were going to do both and we chose the brunch. It was kind of weird but I was ready for it and it felt good.
I have always been a grownup. I'm not kidding - my parents' friends from back in the day say I was freakishly mature even as a toddler.
I started talking before I could walk and at 2 years old I could carry on a conversation like an adult. I started reading real books, not kids' books but real books, at 3.
The times as a kid that I actually felt like a kid - climbing a tree or running around crazy with my cousins - were really rare.
But on the whole it was a good thing, because I was put in a position of taking on a lot of responsibility at a young age so I was equipped to deal with it (aside from some typical youthful rebellion, which was sort of pointless since no one noticed I was rebelling).
Also, I found that when I left for college I was way better off than some of my peers who had zero life experience. Even several who didn't have to support themselves financially couldn't even manage to look after themselves on any meaningful level.
I'm the same as Sausora...I swear I was born old. As a kid, I always wanted to hand out with Mom's friends instead of their kids- I just related better with them. Even now, most of my friends are a good 5-10 years older than me.
I do have times though when I get a wave of feeling exceptionally grown up though- usually when DH and i are on a vacation, or when I'm redecorating or buying stuff for our apartment. Also when the apt is nice a clean and I've cooked a "real" dinner (like a roast or something fancy and labor intensive).
i'm not sure i'll ever feel like an adult- i'll always be my daddy's girl I've had waves of feeling like an adult my whole life- i was never very irresponsible and wish i had spent more time enjoying myself as a kid/teenager. Things that make me feel adult: Moving to a new city on my own (nyc, no less), maintaining a relationship w/someone 1500 miles away and thinking about the future, planning out what i want to do w/my life and saving aggressively (i'm already at the point where i'd rather save than buy anything), starting a savings account for my 14 year old brother (i would do anything for the boy- must be how moms feel), enjoying housework on the weekends... things that make me feel like a kid: living w/3 girls my age and having a blast laughing and being goofballs, making my parents take care of me when i visit , my insane addiction to maui fever, my naive hope/knowledge that i don't have to settle for the ordinary and that i will do amazing things- i'm not jaded yet and hope i never am
I felt grown up since I was 17. Looking now at my "kept" 20 year old brother, my parents pay his tuition, car, insurance, and bail him out of money situtations when he blows it all on his gf....I realize was really independent and bought everything for myself since I got my 1st real job as a bilingual document translator 2 days after I graduated HS. I bought my 1st car, insurance, clothes, shoes, paid my parents rent (I volunteered), paid my own way through school, etc. DH didnt have a steady job until we got married! I dont know what I was thinking, good thing he straightened out in time! I think I was always a little bit ahead of the game in HS, I couldnt wait to graduate and start my life, so a week b4 I graduated, I figured I'd get a head start b4 everyone else started looking for an permanent office position. I got hired the day of my graduation and stared 2 days later!
I think I was this way cuz my parents were VERY VERY strict and overprotective. I didnt visit a movie theatre until I was 16 w/o my parent's knowledge! I wasn't allowed to do any sports or activities or sleep over any of my friends house or go to anywhere like the mall if a parent wasnt there. I couldnt wear pants cuz "they were too tight and boys would look at me". I had to lie to my dad about prom and tell him it was a "formal" dinner. If he knew there was dancing and secular music I would have not been allowed to go. I am the oldest and 1st girl so my dad thought the world was out to get me so he kept me secluded from everything. However, I ended up doing my own thing anyway, so now he lets my sister do everything I was never allowed to do. I try not to resent him for it cuz he did it cuz he wanted the best for me but when I see my sis wearing cute jeans or playing a soccer game or watching HS musical, I feel sad I never got to experience any of that.
Wow, sorry for all that unnecessary addt'l info, I'll save it for my therapist
I think I started feeling grown up when I started getting out of bed at 7am even on weekends, which for me was when I was about 27. Or when I realized that I didn't want to be out until 5 am on Saturday night because I wanted to run errands on Sunday morning.
As a kid tho, I definitely felt like an adult trapped in a kids world. I was born independent. I have always hated being taken care of and I never wanted to be "mothered." In fact, my Mom and I have butted heads since the day I was born because I never wanted her help with anything. Sure, I made a ton of mistakes, but to me it was really important that they be MY mistakes. I couldn't wait to be an adult and I enjoy being an adult so much more than I enjoyed being a kid.
I feel very much at an in-between stage. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing a reasonably good job of impersonating an adult and some days I totally like I have my sh*t together (but that usually ends up with me tripping and falling on the ground or some other circumstance that leads me to believe that in no way do I have my sh*t together.) So I don't know. But the experiences that made me feel more like a grown-up were:
Buying a house, but sleeping in the house for the first time really made it feel real Buying my own contact lenses/glasses (something my parents always did for me) Having the computer die and having the funds to go out and buy a new computer with cash Taking a trip with DH Buying appliances Doing taxes and complaining about it Realizing that I hate doing tequila shots (and that I've now probably gone years since I last did one) And all those times I don't go for that second or third glass of wine because I have a meeting in the morning
My first grown-upish moment was when I moved onto campus and was driving to get groceries, and realized I was spending my money on groceries I would eat, and I could make anything I wanted. I wasn't going to the store to pick up some forgotten items for mom. I was 19.
That was short lived. The actual grown up part came right before my 22nd birthday. I was financially independant, and moved in with my boyfriend. I've felt more like a grown up every year since.
I have a friend that's 4 years older than me, and she makes me feel overly grown up, because she is so irresponsible.
It took me a while. I think it was after I got married. DH and I had been together for about 6 years before that, but I was in college or graduate school. My family helped with my expenses during law school and the bar, so I wasn't financially "mature" for a while. I still don't feel completely grown up though! I'm beginning to think I never will ;)
For me that was the on the airplane heading to our honeymoon. DH and I were still kids (19 yrs old!) and it was the first time I had ever been away alone with him.
My other milestones would be when we bought our house , and when I started my own business.
I just remembered another one- when I started noticeing young kids out by themselves (I particularly remember seeing some kids around maybe 14 going at it on the metro...I mean articles of clothign being removed going at it.) and wondering where their parents were.