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XtinaStyles · Marc Jacobs

Flowers - Again!!!

Kitty · Hermes

lol...I think you're getting obsessed with the idea of getting flowers! At least he tried :)

Is there a reason why you want flowers so badly?

member · Hermes

Honestly, I don't understand. He tried sending them to you, and if he paid for them, you should still get them. I guess I don't see the problem.

NCshopper · Hermes

shopchicago33 wrote:

Honestly, I don't understand. He tried sending them to you, and if he paid for them, you should still get them. I guess I don't see the problem.

Ditto. You'll probably get them today--I wouldn't worry about it too much. And also, isn't it the thought that counts? I mean, he did everything he was supposed to to get you flowers and the flower company screwed up, so I guess I don't really understand why you're disappointed.

subwolley · Kate Spade

This post reminds me of my coworker. We were having this EXACT conversation yesterday and today.

All she wants for VDay is for her boyfriend to send her flowers at work. For some reason, it is so hard for him to get this through his thick head. Even when she flat out tells him "Honey, all I want for VDay is flowers delivered to me at work." I mean, how hard can that be? All he has to do is make a freakin' phone call. He doesn't even have to pick out the flowers. All he has to do is say "I want flowers delivered, I don't care what kind." But for some reason, my coworker ends up disappointed every years, and I feel bad for her. All she wants are flowers!!Instead she got dinner at the Olive Garden, and that was it!

Kelly · Hermes

I know you're annoyed, but he did try to sent you flowers, and it's the thought that counts! He didn't plan the snow...don't give him a hard time.

subwolley wrote:

This post reminds me of my coworker. We were having this EXACT conversation yesterday and today.

Maybe you two are coworkers!

Still, your coworker's expectations surprise me. I mean, if my boyfriend said, "Ttara123, I want a Wii for Valentine's Day. Nothing else will make me happy, and I don't want anything else. Only a Wii"...well, he would definitely not be getting that! I'd feel like he was just taking advantage of me, and plus all the fun would be gone. Even though he can probably safely assume that I'll get him things for Christmas, V-day, and his birthday, if he actually were to come out and tells me only one thing that he will accept, I would get really turned off like he took it for granted that I would get him a present...even though he knows I probably will. Does that make sense? It would just be rude, IMO, and completely turn me off to the idea of giving him anything. I mean, I know some people ask their SOs what they want for their birthday or for V-day, but it takes all the fun out if it if they imply that only one thing will make them happy and actually get mad that their demand wasn't fulfilled.

ETA: Are you otherwise really happy with him? I ask this two two reasons: #1, if you're otherwise very happy with him, this may be one of those comprimises you have to make and one of those things that you have to just let slide. But also, and more importantly, #2: Why aer you so hung up on the idea of flowers? Do they symbolize something to you (like love, romance, affection, etc.) that you are desperate for? You are desperate for flowers, that's certain - but if you really just loved them for the fact that they were flowers, you could easily pick some up at the store yourself and everyone would be happy. Clearly, you want them specifically from him. Maybe it's because there's something in your relationship that's lacking, and you are trying to find it...i.e. something that flowers symbolize to you and emotions they evoke. I feel like you might not be this desperate for them if everything else was A-Okay...like I said, if it was just about the flowers, you would've just gotten them for yourself.

-- Edited by ttara123 at 20:02, 2007-02-15

XtinaStyles · Marc Jacobs

To me flowers are the ultimate symbol of romance, they're beautiful, they smell great, they look great, why wouldn't you want flowers? I do buy them for myself, I have some cute pink daisies on my desk at work actually.

Personally, I don't understand why you guys wouldn't understand my disappointment. I was not complaining about my boyfriend - just expressing my disappointment with the situation. No I didn't get them today, and I am off tomorrow and Monday. So if I do get them, they will probably be wilted.

Its not like flowers are the be all and end all of relationships but I found it ironic that the one time he actually got me flowers, I didn't get them!

Why is it that on a board filled with thoughts of designer purses and shoes and jewelry and people getting cars from their boyfriends.... I feel like the selfish one for wanting flowers?

subwolley · Kate Spade

XtinaStyles wrote:

To me flowers are the ultimate symbol of romance, they're beautiful, they smell great, they look great, why wouldn't you want flowers? I do buy them for myself, I have some cute pink daisies on my desk at work actually.

Personally, I don't understand why you guys wouldn't understand my disappointment. I was not complaining about my boyfriend - just expressing my disappointment with the situation. No I didn't get them today, and I am off tomorrow and Monday. So if I do get them, they will probably be wilted.

Its not like flowers are the be all and end all of relationships but I found it ironic that the one time he actually got me flowers, I didn't get them!

Why is it that on a board filled with thoughts of designer purses and shoes and jewelry and people getting cars from their boyfriends.... I feel like the selfish one for wanting flowers?

I understand what you are saying, and I agree with you. My coworker expressed the same thing. It's about the gesture and the romance, which I think she is lacking in her relationship. (I'm not saying that's your situation) Anyway, I don't think you are selfish for wanting flowers.What's wrong with wanting some romance?

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

I think maybe I know how you feel. My ex used to do nice things for me, just NEVER the one nice thing that I asked for (which was usually less trouble than what he did). After a few years it got quite weird. And I noticed these warning signs 1) The things he did for me were usually visible things that he could brag about. 2) He would never just say, "I don't want to do that..." and give me a reason. The reason always had to be about me. "I would that but you..." or, "You get so caught up in this that I don't want to do that..." 3) When he did try to do the one thing that I asked, there would be some stupid difficulty (usually because he was sort of half-assing it) and then I would get upset because he would use it forever after as an excuse. "See, that's why I don't like to do..." And 4) It was making me VERY nervous because I couldn't count on getting the things that I really wanted from him. And that erodes trust in a major way. I had a health scare and realized that if I couldn't count on him to be there for me, then what's the point?

I don't know that any of that is goign on in your relationship at all. I really can't tell from your post. I just recognize that it seems like he won't listen to you OR provide an explanation for why he's choosing not to do what you want. And THEN when he appears to have listened to you, finally, you still didn't get what you wanted. Anyone would be ready to scream.

member · Hermes

XtinaStyles wrote:

To me flowers are the ultimate symbol of romance, they're beautiful, they smell great, they look great, why wouldn't you want flowers? I do buy them for myself, I have some cute pink daisies on my desk at work actually.

Personally, I don't understand why you guys wouldn't understand my disappointment. I was not complaining about my boyfriend - just expressing my disappointment with the situation. No I didn't get them today, and I am off tomorrow and Monday. So if I do get them, they will probably be wilted.

Its not like flowers are the be all and end all of relationships but I found it ironic that the one time he actually got me flowers, I didn't get them!

Why is it that on a board filled with thoughts of designer purses and shoes and jewelry and people getting cars from their boyfriends.... I feel like the selfish one for wanting flowers?

I don't think you're selfish for wanting flowers at all. What girl doesn't? My point was that your boyfriend did send you flowers, and it's not his fault that they couldn't deliver them to you on time. Anyhow, I get what you're saying now, and I think that just didn't come across your first post.

blubirde · Chanel

I'm sorry you didn't get the flowers. If it's any solace, I'd feel the exact same way you do. I'm one of those people who gets way too excited and hopeful about something (like flowers) and then if they don't happen, even if it's just a technical reason, I get seriously bummed out. And it's kind of worse when you know you shouldn't be bummed out, right? You want to say that it's the thought that counts but damnit! you want your flowers.

So I feel you and if they're wilted when you get back to work, just call the company and they should send new ones.

clothes_horse · Dooney & Bourke

i know how you feel! i've been married almost 7 years and i can count on one hand how many times i've gotten flowers. the kicker is, i used to get flowers every month when we were dating, and i figured it would continue! i just think it's such a sweet and romantic gesture for a guy to buy flowers for his girl. but, oh well. i just try to remember all the other sweet things he does for me, and at least i know he cares.

XtinaStyles · Marc Jacobs

So I'm speaking to him on IM, he's at work, he called the place, finally got through, they offered to redeliver with 40% off. He said no, and cancelled the whole thing. I don't think he plans on ordering any thing else. I asked him why he did that and he said "you're so predictable" whatever that means.

I had such a bad week due to other things...... I actually broke down in my bathroom at work crying, I'm just so tired and stressed out and I thought this was one thing that would put a smile on my face... It was a nice gesture but why would you dangle such a thing in front of me, something you know I wanted, and now cancel it without replacing it?

I feel so defeated and just blah, not bc of the flowers but just bc of everything and this was the icing on the cake. I feel so stupid. I can't say anything but I really don't agree with how he handled things. How can you give a gift, tell someone about it, then cancel it and expect the person not to feel anything?

Mandy · Kate Spade

OMG!! How terrible. I can't believe he just cancelled the order. Thats worse than never ordering them in the first place because it got your hopes up! Do you think he was just telling you that so it would be a surprise when they are delivered? I'm so sorry, I'd be upset too if I were you. Heck, I'm disappointed for you.

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

Um, it sounds like something is wrong. I'm sure he's a nice guy. I'm sure he has his good points. But why did he say that? And if you feel this bad about it (understandably) I think maybe that could indicate that something is just not happening for you that needs to happen. He, for whatever reason, will not (cannot is out of the question, he obviously can, and for CHEAPER) buy you something that you want. And he is not telling you why. I get the feeling he's not going to be receptive if you ask, too. Does that sound true to you? Like I said, I'm not saying he's a bad guy. He probably does a lot of other things, but he's being weird and it's hurting your feelings.

XtinaStyles · Marc Jacobs

RE: Flowers - Again!!! - update