STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

halah · Kenneth Cole

Is it okay to wear black to a wedding?

XtinaStyles · Marc Jacobs

I have heard that you're not supposed to but here in NY, you rarely ever see color. I think its acceptible, esp in a cocktail or LBD. Long black gown would be too over the top but I think its fine.

Collette · Chanel

I don't think I've ever worn anything but a LBD to a wedding!

member · Hermes

Collette wrote:
I don't think I've ever worn anything but a LBD to a wedding!

Ditto! I've never understood why people say it's taboo, but maybe it is in certain areas?

littlebean · Kate Spade

I would only consider wearing black to an evening wedding. I have always heard that black is too "funereal" for a wedding so I always avoid it if possible -- but lots of people do wear black to weddings at all times of day and it's fine.

halah · Kenneth Cole

I agree I think I'll try it to an evening wedding, I don't know why I feel silly about it. Last year I spent weeks trying to find the perfect NON-BLACK dress to wear to a wedding in NYC only to see almost all of the women there in black cocktail dresses.

I just found this on dressaday.com...I don't really agree with it but it made me laugh about wanting to save black to show the bride you dissapprove:

Do not wear black. I can hear somebody whining that she only has one nice dress, and it NEEDS to be black because she has to wear it on New Year's Eve, and besides, black is slimming. I am not listening to you. You do not wear black to weddings. You do not wear black to weddings because wearing black at weddings means you disapprove of the marriage. You do not wear black to weddings because someday, god forbid, you might actually WANT to wear black to a wedding in order to show your disapproval and your deep grief over somebody's ill-advised nuptials, and no one will know that this is what you intended because there will be a roomful of women in LBDs dancing barefoot to "We Are Family" and your grand gesture will be for naught. MARK MY WORDS. (Besides, black is BOR-ing. And not as slimming as you might think.) Black and white prints are allowable if they would be unsuitable for a funeral.

FashionPrincess · Hermes

I think only to an evening wedding. And even then I think I'd go with chocolate or some other color.

Eurodaisy · Dooney & Bourke

I suppose dressaday has a good point... ha!

-- Edited by Eurodaisy at 13:09, 2007-01-30

Kitty · Hermes

FashionPrincess wrote:
I think only to an evening wedding. And even then I think I'd go with chocolate or some other color.

I agree.

Kelly · Hermes

Kitty wrote:
FashionPrincess wrote:
I think only to an evening wedding. And even then I think I'd go with chocolate or some other color.

I agree.

I agree, too. I have worn black to a wedding, but I really, really try to avoid it if possible.

Still, I think that quote from dressaday is a little too paranoid. If someone wears black to my wedding, which I'm sure many people will, I'm not going to consider that their "grand gesture" to tell me that I'm making the wrong decision. If someone thinks you're making the wrong decision, why would they wait until you're walking down the aisle to tell you that? And if someone really hated my marriage to someone that fervently, I wouldn't want them at my wedding!

sfclinevandy · Coach

My family is ridiculously southern and formal and I'm having black bridesmaid dresses. My grandmother expressed her disapproval but I don't care. Even as a guest, I almost always wear black too. Dumb tradition, if you ask me

Eurodaisy · Dooney & Bourke

sfclinevandy wrote:
My family is ridiculously southern and formal and I'm having black bridesmaid dresses.

Ooh, I had black bridesmaids dresses, too! (Actually, I told them to wear black, and each of them picked their own dress) Can't believe I'd forgotten that...

BargainQueen · Marc Jacobs

My aunts think its taboo, actually I wore a black dress with little crystals on it (very elegant) to my aunt's wedding. She married a complete tool and got divorced less than a year later and said I had "jinxed her w/my black dress". She was kidding, but sheesh!

I personally dont think its taboo, but ever since then I try to avoid it, if I do wear it, I pair it w/pewter pumps & jewelry and a cardi in another color.

halah · Kenneth Cole

FashionPrincess wrote:
I think only to an evening wedding. And even then I think I'd go with chocolate or some other color.

That's how I usually feel but I have so many cute black dresses now darn it. The wedding is in Arkansas too!

Funny thing that you'll appreciate...so after trying so hard to find a non-black wedding dress for my first NYC wedding and showing up seeing all these other girls in black...after the cake cutting I asked a couple of my friends where the groom's cake was because I wanted chocolate cake...they looked at me like I was crazy. "what's a groom's cake?' a couple of them asked...there was none! I couldn't beleive it a wedding without a grooms cake, that would never happen back home!

FashionPrincess · Hermes

halah wrote:
FashionPrincess wrote:
I think only to an evening wedding. And even then I think I'd go with chocolate or some other color.

That's how I usually feel but I have so many cute black dresses now darn it. The wedding is in Arkansas too!

Funny thing that you'll appreciate...so after trying so hard to find a non-black wedding dress for my first NYC wedding and showing up seeing all these other girls in black...after the cake cutting I asked a couple of my friends where the groom's cake was because I wanted chocolate cake...they looked at me like I was crazy. "what's a groom's cake?' a couple of them asked...there was none! I couldn't beleive it a wedding without a grooms cake, that would never happen back home!

That is funny! The opposite thing happened to me, since I was raised in Ohio I had never seen a groom's cake, so I didn't know to have one at my wedding. Luckily my cake was very yummy and there was plenty, so I don't think it was missed.

Where in AR is the wedding? And what time is it? I think that will determine if you can get by with wearing one of your pretty black dresses.

halleybird · Hermes

I do it all the time. I actually went to a very hoity-toity Southern debutante wedding in Houston a few years ago and half the guests wore black! It was a daytime wedding, too.

kittenheels · Coach

I don't wear black. I feel like a wedding is festive and that it should involve lots of color. My mother and aunts were all raised not to wear it - the rationale is you might be wishing the couple ill and trying to blacken their happiness. It is pretty silly - but I'm really superstitious and wouldn't risk it.

That said, many of my dearest friends wore black to my wedding, and it didn't bother me in the slightest! They looked lovely!

halah · Kenneth Cole

FP: The wedding and reception are in a church in Little Rock, I beleive in the afternoon. I think what I'm going to do is pack the black dress I'm thinking of wearing along with a backup and just see how I'm feeling.

This is the dress I'm thinking of, because it's sheer I think it won't be too bad:

Maven · BCBG

In California many women wear black to afternoon weddings as well as evening weddings. I prefer not too because I also think that a wedding is a festive occasion. Still, it's a real pain to try and find a decent dress or outfit that fits me and isn't black.

I attended a wedding ten years ago and DH and I ended up sitting at the same table with a woman who'd grown up in the South. She was appalled by the number of women wearing black--she said it would never be acceptable back home.

At my son's wedding a year ago the bridesmaids wore strapless black floaty gowns at his afternoon wedding near Chicago. They looked stunning.

Starstuff · Kenneth Cole

I've worn black and I think its ok to. When I got married two guests wore BRIGHT red dresses and they really stand out in the pictures, which is think is more inconsiderate than wearing black which doesn't attract as much attention-- after all, pictures are going to last a lot longer.

I think the most imporant thing about guests' attire is that it is appropriate for the occassion -- other than the two ladies in red, the only other guests whose outfits I remember are the ones who wore jeans and hoodies. Not cool.