STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

tiansiyuer · Nine West

question about guy met in the club?

Hermes

I wouldn't consider him a boyfriend -- yet... He is a new acquaintance - get to know him better (with time spent talking, not making out and watching movies), and find an opportunity to ask him if he has a girlfriend because your friend was under the impression that he has one. If he is serious about you, you won't scare him off with the question. You have nothing to lose by asking.

tiansiyuer · Nine West

detroit: Thank you very much for your advice! Actually he asked me first if i had a boyfriend at home, and i said no. And i asked him the same question, and he also said no. (didn't ask if he has one g/f here though)

Last night we went out sightseeing, and later for Karaoke singing, it was fun. He bought a DVD on the way and we went back to my dorm to wacth it, in the common room. Around 3 in the morning he left (my roommate was also there)

As of talking and getting to know him better, i don't know. I mean we talked but maybe not that much. He said he'd like me to teach him some Chinese (since i am a native speaker, and he also has some asian background, and is interested in the language).

So far i think he is a really nice person (what my friend thinks too). I just feel weird coz we've only known each other for like two days, and already it's like beening knowing each other for long. Not that i don't like it, but maybe just confused?

So i guess i'll just wait and see what happens next.

Hermes

he sounds very sweet, and very interested in you. I would just go with the flow and see where it goes... keep us posted

cat · Marc Jacobs

I agree with Detroit: he sounds like a very sweet guy who is into you.Which is a very hard thing to come by.So just enjoy yourself with him and don't worry about where it leads.

Good luck!

tiansiyuer · Nine West

Thank you for the replies!

A little update: He is on the basketball team of our school, and Sunday they had a game in another school. So around 10:30 at night he called me and asked me how my day was, and i asked him about the game and stuff. I said i already missed him a little,and he said me too. So We talked on the phone for a while and then said good night to each other. I was actually a little bit disappointed since i thought he might want to make plans with me on Monday. (he asked when and where my classes are, but didn't say like "oh let's have lunch/dinner together)

So i don't know, is that i need to be more patient and take things slow? I understand that he might want to hang out with his friends, but since we are in the same school, is it weird that we don't even see each other daily? Or is it usual since we are just starting to see each other? Or, if i want to hang out with him more often, should i ask him? Or not?

Sorry too many questions. I guess i am just really confused and need some advice.

Hermes

tiansiyuer wrote:

Thank you for the replies! A little update: He is on the basketball team of our school, and Sunday they had a game in another school. So around 10:30 at night he called me and asked me how my day was, and i asked him about the game and stuff. I said i already missed him a little,and he said me too. So We talked on the phone for a while and then said good night to each other. I was actually a little bit disappointed since i thought he might want to make plans with me on Monday. (he asked when and where my classes are, but didn't say like "oh let's have lunch/dinner together) So i don't know, is that i need to be more patient and take things slow? I understand that he might want to hang out with his friends, but since we are in the same school, is it weird that we don't even see each other daily? Or is it usual since we are just starting to see each other? Or, if i want to hang out with him more often, should i ask him? Or not? Sorry too many questions. I guess i am just really confused and need some advice.

just lay low and let him take the lead. you don't want to come across as desperate, clingy, demanding, or high-maintenance. having confidence and security with being by yourself is more attractive than expressing a need to want to be together all the time. I know how you feel though, you're into him and when he doesn't want to spend every free moment with you, you start to wonder how into you he really is... at this time (it's sooo new) just relax, go with the flow, and don't let him know how much you want to be with him. Him getting a call from you should be a little further down the road when you're more secure in the relationship.

tiansiyuer · Nine West

detroit: Thank you so much for the advice! i think that's exactly what i need to hear at the moment. I also know it's the right thing to do to wait and let him take the lead. But sometimes i am just so worried or maybe thinking too much about him. I am also confused because when we went out, we already hold hands, and act like we are bf/gf. Obviously we haven't known each other for long. I know it's not about sex, because we didn't have sex, and the other time we hang out, we just kissed. And he also said the Karoke singing was fun, and asked if i enjoyed, and if i liked the movie. But if he really sees this as some kind of serious relationship (vs. causaul relationship?), then i guess he would want to make plans with me during school days, not just weekend? So i guess i will just see.

But anyways, i guess i will just live my normal life, and see what happens next.

blubirde · Chanel

tiansiyuer wrote:

But anyways, i guess i will just live my normal life, and see what happens next.

Excellent idea. He sounds like he's interested and it sounds like you're interested, so just wait and see. Hard to do but effective in the long run. I'd stay away from comments like "I miss you" or whatever. Not that they're wrong or bad but they might scare a boy away, even if he is into you in a real way.

Good luck and keep us posted!