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Post Info TOPIC: the one u want - long


Kate Spade

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the one u want - long
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Hi girls!  Wow!  This week has been R-O-U-G-H for me.


I've been dating the Dr. for a few weeks now.  We used to text and talk on the phone constantly and see each other about 3x's a week. Well, Sunday was real quiet - I went to a housewarming and stopped by his place with some spring rolls but he was on the phone and I didn't even get out of the car.  No kiss or nothing.  REALLY strange.


I really like the Dr. but I know he is also dating 2 other girls.  So Monday I go on a coffee date with "the restuarant guy" (he owns/develops restaurants).  So it was nice and the Dr. calls and I call him back afterwards. I had emailed him earlier on Mon. if everything was okay. 


*his ex GF (they broke up in Nov - together 2 yrs) emails him wishing him a Happy Valentine's and that she's still in love with him, can they try it again, etc." We talk about the weirdness of dating different people at the same time.  It's a first for us both.  I am also very sd at this point becuase it would have been me and my ex (who still lives with me) 6 yrs anniversary.


Tuesday - V-Day.  Restaurant Guy calls me 3 x's. 1 text message with "Happy Valentine's Day!" from the dr.  he has his son for the night - "will try to call ltr" - of course no call and I am very very sad.


Wednesday - see Restaurant guy.  He kisses me - tries to alot - i just don't feel the same.  Dr. calls and I want to leave the restaurant guy so i can leave and call back the dr. I had emailed him that day - i had forgot to ask him how HE feels about the ex and their relationship.  He went to have dinner w/her to "hear her out" and came back with a big headache.


Anyways, we had a discussion and i told him how everyone i didn't care about hearing from called and the one i wanted to didn't.  He apologized for making me so sad.  I know we've only been dating a few weeks so I told him i didn't have any right to say whatever, but he told me I DID have every right to say and feel how i do because we DO have this connection and chemistry and the time we have spent together.  that made me feel a little better.


Thurs. - no call. Restaurant guy calls - i don't answer.  Car guy calls - i barely talk to him. can't stand the ex still being in my space. UGH


Today - i think i should just move on as my coworkers tell me to just have a good time with the other guys.  I miss the dr. terribly. i'm going out with the Car Designer tonight.  Talked to the Dr. briefly.  As a change - I asked him to dinner on Sunday - he says he'll think about it and call me later. That's soo a BAD sign right?


I'm usually not like this - i can't belive i'm going to keep feeling this way about someone I've only known for almost a month - although it had progressed much faster than any other relationship i'd been in. i just can't help feeling like if it was just me and him - we'd be really good together long-term.  ugh - sorry do long - thanks for letting me vent.


wish me luck tonight with the car guy


 



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Coach

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Posts: 1862
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I am sorry to hear it is not going how you want.  Turthfully, it sounds as if Dr isn't really interested, or he is just super busy--Drs can be very busy people but I think he'd still make an effort if he was very interested.  On the bright side, it sounds like you have a whole slew of other guys to date--so have fun!  Good luck with car guy (I love how you name all these guys)!

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~Jaclyn


Gucci

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I'm sorry!!  That stinks about the dr.  It sounds like he might not be as interested as he once was.  Maybe he is wanting to get back with the ex and is just trying to distance himself from you instead of coming out and telling you.  Good luck with the other guys!

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"Despite all your best intentions, sometimes, fate wins anyway."


Marc Jacobs

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Right after my divorce, I felt a real pull toward guys who were needy and controlling and no fun. I think it had something to do with wanting to "fix" a guy not wanting me when I didn't want the divorce - well, I wanted it but I didn't want to have to want it. Plus, it's almost like I was in eight grade again. I couldn't remember anything about dating and it just seemed incredibly myssterious and the guys aren't exactly the ones to trust to explain it, right? It was truly awful. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I swear, it gets much better fast though - and you're already way ahead of me b/c you're dating several people at once to keep a little distance...

Honestly, I don't know that's what you are going through. But the doctor sounds like a dweeb. I date multiple people and WOULD NEVER EVER give one of them an update on the other! It sounds like a control thing, like he wants you to want to work for him - which indicates a needy personality, and someone who can't give much. Plus, wth has he offered? Besides, why aren't you calling restaurant guy back? I think it's because on some level you figure he'll call again, so you have him and that's no fun. the doctor might feel the same way because he has twisted things enough to convince you not to stick up for yourself a couple times now.

From now on, I would set some limits and tell yourself you're going to mess with this doctor's head. It'll be fun, and since he's already not making you feel good, you have nothing to lose - right?

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Kate Spade

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Posts: 1332
Date:
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Thanks guys - thanks Dizzy for putting up your post... yes the breakup with the ex is like a long-dragged out divorce.


Things with the Dr. are at an end I'm afraid.  I think I've become some psycho girl talking to him - but we talked a few times today and he said basically that he's giving his relationship with his ex another try.  Ay.. very disappointing to me but I will get on.


 



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