STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

kenzie · Chanel

How important is it to you...

Maddie · Coach

Not to be conceited, but I've been told I'm a funny person (I tied for "funniest" in my high school yearbook's superlatives). I'm also a conoisseur of comedy, and I think because of this it is hugely important that my sense of humor meshes with someone. If they don't get/are offended by my jokes it's just awkward and it's not going to work. There's no way. What am I supposed to talk about? And a guy making bad jokes is just embarassing and unforgivable. I associate that with dumb people (I know I'm a snob). An exception - my ex whom I was totally head over heels for would often not get when I was being sarcastic even if it was totally obvious, but in that case it was more just funny.

luckylily · Gucci

For me that would be a deciding factor. I like to laugh and I like spending time with people who make me laugh. My husband has a ton of great qualities, but if I had to pick an absolute favorite it would be that he cracks me up constantly. We laugh so much. Part of that is also that he knows when not to be funny, ya know? Like he doesn't crack jokes at inappropriate times. He knows when being funny will lift my spirits and when it will annoy me.

Obviously, there are a ton of factors in compatibility, but yeah, I think a matching sense of humor is a biggie. It is probably a pretty personal thing tho.

kenzie · Chanel

Maddie wrote:

Not to be conceited, but I've been told I'm a funny person (I tied for "funniest" in my high school yearbook's superlatives). I'm also a conoisseur of comedy, and I think because of this it is hugely important that my sense of humor meshes with someone. If they don't get/are offended by my jokes it's just awkward and it's not going to work. There's no way. What am I supposed to talk about? And a guy making bad jokes is just embarassing and unforgivable. I associate that with dumb people (I know I'm a snob). An exception - my ex whom I was totally head over heels for would often not get when I was being sarcastic even if it was totally obvious, but in that case it was more just funny.

This is how i feel, too, I suppose. I don't think it's conceited to know that you're funny. People tell me I'm funny, too. I just like to make people laugh, but I also like to laugh myself, so being with a guy who gets my deranged sense of humor (and also has one himself) is the greatest!

I agree, it's cringe-worthy when T cracks a not funny joke (which is 99.9% of the jokes he attempts). I get embarassed for him. I feel like an evil person.

e_doli · Dooney & Bourke

for me it's pretty important. i used to hate dating guys that didn't get my goofy, silly, at times immature sense of humor. it made me feel uncomfortable and supress that part of my personality when i was around them. my bf of 5 years and i have similar sense of humor and it makes things much more fun and much easier.

i think maybe in the early stages of a relationship the sense of humor thing isn't a make or break issue, but as relationships move on it could be something that becomes more of a factor.

kenzie · Chanel

luckylily wrote:

For me that would be a deciding factor. I like to laugh and I like spending time with people who make me laugh. My husband has a ton of great qualities, but if I had to pick an absolute favorite it would be that he cracks me up constantly. We laugh so much. Part of that is also that he knows when not to be funny, ya know? Like he doesn't crack jokes at inappropriate times. He knows when being funny will lift my spirits and when it will annoy me. Obviously, there are a ton of factors in compatibility, but yeah, I think a matching sense of humor is a biggie. It is probably a pretty personal thing tho.

I thought I was completely crazy for feeling like it could be deciding factor. But honestly, it's one of the things I like most about N. I know that no matter where we go, we're going to have a blast and make each other laugh. After spending four weeks straight with him, I think I have abs of steel just from all the laughing! It's to the point where I almost dread spending time with T b/c I get bored. Ugh, evil! I'm the devil incarnate!

-- Edited by NylaBelle at 17:10, 2006-01-12

Mandy · Kate Spade

I think its hugely important. A guy that isn't super attractive is much cuter if he can make me laugh. I would worry that if you think T's joks are that bad that you might start feeling embarrassed when he does it in front of your friends/family. There is nothing worse than being embarrassed for your SO. I would rather be embarrassed at my own stupidity than theirs.

Metric · Gucci

I think sense of humor is very important. If you don't have similar senses of humor it's like you aren't on the same page.

But could it also be that you are looking for reasons not to like T? I know when I start to get nit-pickity about a guy that it is time to just call it a day. If you are bored around him why punish yourself by still spending time with him?

kenzie · Chanel

Mandy wrote:

I think its hugely important. A guy that isn't super attractive is much cuter if he can make me laugh. I would worry that if you think T's joks are that bad that you might start feeling embarrassed when he does it in front of your friends/family. There is nothing worse than being embarrassed for your SO. I would rather be embarrassed at my own stupidity than theirs.

Haha!! The first time I felt embarrassed was on NYE, when he was trying to make jokes and no one was getting them. And then he started dancing. Oy!! I won't even touch that one. I think that was probably the moment that the pendulum swung toward N. I hate that feeling of being embarrassed for the person I'm dating. You're right, I can embarrass myself much more easily. And people usually laugh when I do stupid things. I'm quite good at it, really.

Thanks for validating my feelings, ladies.

laken1 · Hermes

luckylily wrote:

For me that would be a deciding factor. I like to laugh and I like spending time with people who make me laugh. My husband has a ton of great qualities, but if I had to pick an absolute favorite it would be that he cracks me up constantly. We laugh so much. Part of that is also that he knows when not to be funny, ya know? Like he doesn't crack jokes at inappropriate times. He knows when being funny will lift my spirits and when it will annoy me.
Obviously, there are a ton of factors in compatibility, but yeah, I think a matching sense of humor is a biggie. It is probably a pretty personal thing tho.

I could have written this! Absolute deal breaker. Don't settle Nyla!

NCshopper · Hermes

luckylily wrote:

For me that would be a deciding factor. I like to laugh and I like spending time with people who make me laugh. My husband has a ton of great qualities, but if I had to pick an absolute favorite it would be that he cracks me up constantly. We laugh so much. Part of that is also that he knows when not to be funny, ya know? Like he doesn't crack jokes at inappropriate times. He knows when being funny will lift my spirits and when it will annoy me. Obviously, there are a ton of factors in compatibility, but yeah, I think a matching sense of humor is a biggie. It is probably a pretty personal thing tho.

Ditto. It's pretty much a deciding factor for me too. I mean, there are other things that are important too, but if you don't find someone funny or the senses of humor just don't mesh for whatever reason, then honestly, I don't think it's worthwhile to persue the relationship. I just don't understand how it would be possible to share your life with someone who you don't "get" and who doesn't "get" you or who can't be counted on to make you laugh when you're having a terrible day. Even with everything else being perfect on paper it still wouldn't make me want to be with that person.

One of my husband's best qualities is his sense of humor, IMO. He just kills me. He's a big punster, like the groan-worthy kind, which a lot of people just can't take, but for me, he can turn my day around in an instant by making me laugh. And we also find the same little things funny, like when we're at an airport people-watching. It's the little things that we find funny in the same way and it's important because life is made up of many more little moments than the big moments and if you can't laugh with someone about the little stuff, then you're in for a long, boring, quiet life.

Hermione · Kate Spade

Yeah, I'm going to say this is pretty important as well. I think that somewhat your sense of humor says something about who you are and obviously your personality - don't you find that your best friends really get your crazy jokes and things that others might think are weird?

there's a reason that you become closer to these people, so i think this is a HUGE factor in your SO.

sage · Dooney & Bourke

I agree, a matching sense of humor is important. But I think as a relationship develops so do the laughs you have. Or they should. I think my SO is hilarious. And I always have. But I don't think he found me all that funny until a few years ago. (and all all our friends tell me I am funny) I used to accuse him of trying not to laugh at me. I think our relationship has reached the point where we can laugh at anything together. But, if the dorky sense of humour is your 'OUT' Nyla, then I would take it and go with the one who makes you snort your beverages out your nose!!

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

Wow, he killed it with his dancing? And now you have to face the mothers... don't envy you girl. But hey, at least you're happy

lynnie · Chanel

so so so important. maybe one of the most important things i can think of.

atlgirl · Gucci

OMG if you can't laugh with someone it's just not worth it. I agree that things like honesty, respect, integrity, etc are also on the list, but if I was with someone who didn't "get" my humor - or I didn't get theirs - I think it would just be frustrating, esp. as years go by and you're like, "here he is, trying to be funny again" (or he said that about you, to himself). It would just be annoying and there are enough annoying things about other people in general already (I know this makes me sound like a crab about other people but I'm really not).

Anyway - one of the best things in the world is being able to laugh with someone you love. I would not consider a long term relationship with someone who wasn't on that same wavelength with me (or vice versa).

small fry · Chanel

I agree I love to laugh and be silly and I can do with with my husband. Life is to short not to have fun and laugh and just be plain silly

bex · Chanel

SO important! my BF and i have very dry sarcastic humour and we crack each other up all the time.

def. others that don't like/get sarcastic humor would be very bad matches for us... as i find it the hardest type of humor for others to "get"

jj · Kate Spade

We just took a trip with another couple. We had a great time, but MANY times, our guy friend's jokes went over like lead balloons. And then he would REPEAT them, in case maybe we forgot to laugh the first time??

His girlfriend loves him and thinks he's hilarious, so it just made me appreciate how much my husband makes me laugh and how compatible we are. Ugh...I could never endure a lifetime with someone who I didn't find funny.

Lilykind · Hermes

I think it's one of the most important things.

BF and I share a very wry, intellectual, slightly sarcastic humor. I've met very few people who share the same sense of humor and it makes me thankful that we find the same things utterly hilarious. Most guys think I'm really dorky when they see what I find funny.