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Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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Question ab/ who calls?
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Ok, it has become apparent that men place some great significance on the difference between "Give me a call" and "I'll call you..." But I am not sure exactly what it is.

I've seen this for a while, but something that really emphasized it happpened Thursday. I had to cancel a date with a guy because I was sick/didn't feel like driving 45 minutes to meet him (mostly the last half, but whatever). And he said, "Oh, ok, well give me a call when you're feeling better..." Then you could hear him about choke on that, then he tried to backtrack, but I was too quick to say "Oh, of course" (I didn't really want to call, so I thought I had a good chance here to wait three weeks and then call and say I've been busy and smother it that way). But THEN he called back the next day just to have a bs conversation that he could end with "OK, I'm going to give you a call the week after Christmas...." I'm um, not holding my breath, btw... Do you think he thought the same thing I thought?

And if so, then is this just some guy thing about trying to keep the upper hand? Like "I'll tell her I'll call and then she can wait..." Or "I'll tell her to call ME and then I can tell if she's interested, and I can take her or leave her..."

Oh, another good example was a jazz musician I met two weeks ago. He made a big deal about giving me his card, and telling me to email or call him. He told me to come watch him play at this club that weekend, but obviously, he had no intention of doing anything else to further things. So it was all up to me... Why would he do that? Because he didnt' like me enough to ask me out for a real date? Because he's just trying to get more people to come to his show?

Anyway, what are your theories?

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blubirde


Chanel

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I don't know if it's a theory but I do have a mode of operandi, if you will. I'm willing to give one call/email first but after that, there has to be substantial interest on his part (i.e. he has to call/email next). I figure that it never hurts to initiate contact or see if he's interested. It certainly doesn't hurt me to call or email. Of course I'm not going to sacrifice my dignity for a follow-up call or email if I haven't had any response.

Trust me though, all of this came from some very hard-earned lessons.

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Mandy


Kate Spade

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I know what you mean Dizzy.  I noticed this for the first time a month or so ago.  Some guy I was "talking to/dating" would always say, "give me a call later, if you want."  wtf?!  I wanted to say, no, you call me.  And "if you want,"  what does that mean?  We stopped dating.  I concluded he just wasn't that into me.  For him, I think it was his way of making me put forth all the effort because he didn't care enough to. 



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fashionista L


Coach

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I also had the same problem with the last guy I dated. It was so frustrating and a big reason I ended things with him. He'd always tell me to call him later... and then he wouldn't answer... it was way too annoying to deal with. I have noticed lots of guys I have been met the last few months have been using the tactic to give you their card so you can give them a call sometime... I don't know whats up with that.

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