STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

lynnie · Chanel

hs reunions?

relrel · Marc Jacobs

closure? eh, depends on where you are in your life already. have you made peace with nasty high school memories already, or are you still there trying to overcome them? just for personal reference....i didn't go to my five year reunion because i wasn't happy with where i was in my life. but my next one, in two years, might be different. ill have finished grad school and will hopefully being doing something that i can be proud of. (last time i was working retail, not really something to make people jealous with, ya know?)

hs reunions serve one of two purposes: to catch up with people you haven't seen in five years and want to see, or to prove your hotness/worthiness/coolness to a bunch of people that you don't see/won't see ever again and don't really want to see. where do you fit?

i

lynnie · Chanel

relrel wrote:

closure? eh, depends on where you are in your life already. have you made peace with nasty high school memories already, or are you still there trying to overcome them? just for personal reference....i didn't go to my five year reunion because i wasn't happy with where i was in my life. but my next one, in two years, might be different. ill have finished grad school and will hopefully being doing something that i can be proud of. (last time i was working retail, not really something to make people jealous with, ya know?) hs reunions serve one of two purposes: to catch up with people you haven't seen in five years and want to see, or to prove your hotness/worthiness/coolness to a bunch of people that you don't see/won't see ever again and don't really want to see. where do you fit? i

i'm not sure, in all honesty. in some ways, there are people i want to see, yes, and a lot of it is curiousity about people that i went to school with that were only classmates- not really friends. but i think theres that part of me that also wants to be worthy, which makes me think i'm not yet ready for that stage (and part of the reason that i'm not ready isn't because i'm not cool yet- its because i still worry about this bs. proving myself to a bunch of idiot ex-football players that have mostly done nothing with their lives). Boo!

anywhoo, i'm also curious with your girls experiences at these. are they ever fun? do you ever talk with old high school crushes? that part sounds exciting.

laken1 · Hermes

I try not to tell this story too often because I know it probably is kind of an isolated incident & i don't want to scare people off from their reunions (i have talked about it here before), but I had a HORRIBLE experience at my 10 year. i was captain of the cheerleaders, pretty popular in school. I was married & had a good job at the time. I had a killer outfit & thought all would be great. Well, I was voted MOST AGED - they brought me on stage & gave me anti-aging cream in front of everyone - it was probably the most humilating thing I've ever been through. And let me tell you, I was NOT NEARLY the most aged - we had some crazy matronly chics there & I borrowed a uber cool expensive outfit from a very fashionable friend. I was only maybe 15 pounds heavier than I was in HS, so it wasn't like I was all that different. Seriously, I know I'm defending myself too much, but still I'm 33 & have no wrinkles at all. ANYWAY - the worst part is that I didn't vote on the slip when they passed it out because I thought it was so mean & petty. There were lots of people that I could have hated on, but I figured that I'd outgrown that & wasn't going to be part of it. Well, joke was on me! Fuck em. I'm never going back.

Sorry, that probably wasn't what you wanted to hear, but it's true, so there's my 2 cents! Now my general rule is that I will keep up with the few people I care about & the others I never have to see again ever & that's fine with me. Sorry if they are stuck in bumpkin town america & I live in a cool place! I really have nothing to prove to people that don't matter in my life anyway.....

-- Edited by laken1 at 22:33, 2005-12-18

shopgirl82 · Chanel

i missed my 5 year h.s. renunion this year because i thought visiting my grandma out of town for her 89th was more important. initially i was super disappointed. this is what i heard from my friends...

it was ok and catching up with some people was cool. but my friend said the people she really wanted to see didn't show up anyway. she said only half the people showed up...it was the first week of Oct (not sure why they didn't do it after thanksgiving or christmas), and most of them were the people who still lived in our hometown (she does too, so she knows what most of them are up to). she said a lot of the girls (i went to an all girls school) looked sad (i just remember a couple bobble-head comments), and the rest were all trying to convey how awesome their bf/fh was, their job was, college experience was, etc...

my advice...if you don't have a good group of friends to go with, i would skip it and hear all the gossip after the fact, but that's just me.

theotherjess · Chanel

laken1 wrote:

I try not to tell this story too often because I know it probably is kind of an isolated incident & i don't want to scare people off from their reunions (i have talked about it here before), but I had a HORRIBLE experience at my 10 year. i was captain of the cheerleaders, pretty popular in school. I was married & had a good job at the time. I had a killer outfit & thought all would be great. Well, I was voted MOST AGED - they brought me on stage & gave me anti-aging cream in front of everyone - it was probably the most humilating thing I've ever been through. And let me tell you, I was NOT NEARLY the most aged - we had some crazy matronly chics there & I borrowed a uber cool expensive outfit from a very fashionable friend. I was only maybe 15 pounds heavier than I was in HS, so it wasn't like I was all that different. Seriously, I know I'm defending myself too much, but still I'm 33 & have no wrinkles at all. ANYWAY - the worst part is that I didn't vote on the slip when they passed it out because I thought it was so mean & petty. There were lots of people that I could have hated on, but I figured that I'd outgrown that & wasn't going to be part of it. Well, joke was on me! Fuck em. I'm never going back. Sorry, that probably wasn't what you wanted to hear, but it's true, so there's my 2 cents! Now my general rule is that I will keep up with the few people I care about & the others I never have to see again ever & that's fine with me. Sorry if they are stuck in bumpkin town america & I live in a cool place! I really have nothing to prove to people that don't matter in my life anyway.....-- Edited by laken1 at 22:33, 2005-12-18

Laken, I just wanted to say that they were so wrong! Your pic of the new hairdo DEFINITELY shows that you are gorgeous and not old looking at all. I can't even believe they would do that at a reunion. You look damn good for any age and that's all there is to it.

erin · Chanel

laken, your classmates stink! i can't believe anyone would vote you most aged! (maybe they need bifocals already?)

it makes me think of my mother's hs reunion though. granted, she just had her 40th, but she said these two women who had obviously had some plastic surgery done came up to her to ask her if she had any work done, because her skin looked great! (she hasn't had any done, obviously!)

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

It's the head cheerleader syndrome - somehow if you have everything together, people seem to think it's ok to hurt you because you won't feel it or something. I'm so sorry they did that to you - and I NEVER would have guessed 33 from your picture.

lynnie · Chanel

laken1 wrote:

I try not to tell this story too often because I know it probably is kind of an isolated incident & i don't want to scare people off from their reunions (i have talked about it here before), but I had a HORRIBLE experience at my 10 year. i was captain of the cheerleaders, pretty popular in school. I was married & had a good job at the time. I had a killer outfit & thought all would be great. Well, I was voted MOST AGED - they brought me on stage & gave me anti-aging cream in front of everyone - it was probably the most humilating thing I've ever been through. And let me tell you, I was NOT NEARLY the most aged - we had some crazy matronly chics there & I borrowed a uber cool expensive outfit from a very fashionable friend. I was only maybe 15 pounds heavier than I was in HS, so it wasn't like I was all that different. Seriously, I know I'm defending myself too much, but still I'm 33 & have no wrinkles at all. ANYWAY - the worst part is that I didn't vote on the slip when they passed it out because I thought it was so mean & petty. There were lots of people that I could have hated on, but I figured that I'd outgrown that & wasn't going to be part of it. Well, joke was on me! Fuck em. I'm never going back. Sorry, that probably wasn't what you wanted to hear, but it's true, so there's my 2 cents! Now my general rule is that I will keep up with the few people I care about & the others I never have to see again ever & that's fine with me. Sorry if they are stuck in bumpkin town america & I live in a cool place! I really have nothing to prove to people that don't matter in my life anyway.....-- Edited by laken1 at 22:33, 2005-12-18

thats horrible! But- since you obv. don't look aged (you look great!) and are certainly not the most "aged" in the conventional understanding of the word (wrinkly, etc.)- maybe they meant it as, you look the most like an adult, or you look the most put together, or you are one of the ones that looks diff. from what you looked like in hs? there are some people i see from hs and think, "wow, they look older!" but i almost always mean it in a good way, like they've matured or something. it's only a non-compliment when i say- "have you seen johnny's receding hairline?" or "hmm, linda has spent too much time in the sun, her face looks like its melting off", etc. i dont usually say things like that though, but just for comparison's sake.

NCshopper · Hermes

Holy shit! I can't believe they did that, Laken! Who on earth would think that's a funny or appropriate thing to do?!?!?! Wow, I don't blame you for not wanting to go back.

I didn't know that high schools did a 5 year reunion. I don't think mine had one. I might go to the 10th, but I'm not sure.

My mom's gone to all of hers and she always has a blast. She went to high school in San Diego and she's in her early fifties now, and so she says its always funny to see those who have had "enhancement" since high school. She always says "I don't remember those in gym class!" She says each year it gets more and more noticable. I think it'd be funny just to go for the people watching.

Personally, I think a 5 year reunion would be really awkward. It's not enough time to have water under the bridge in cases where people don't get along, and I think most of the people there would be there for superficial reasons--to show off how pretty they still are or how much prettier they got, or how successful they are. I think at maybe 10 years people will be a bit more mature and some people will have families started, so I think there would be a lot less superficiality. Or at least, one could hope!

atlgirl · Gucci

I just went to my 20th (skipped the 10th) and I doubt that I'd go to another. I wasn't close with a lot of folks in HS - I was painfully shy and it took me a long time to make the friends I had there.

As far as offering closure though - and we flew from GA to AZ for this - they sure can...my BFF from HS (with whom I'd lost touch with 11 years go) attended - and for both of us (as I found out from her that night), the ultimate purpose in going was to see if the other one would be there, because we didn't know how to find each other again. We had a marvelous time and we have each other's new contact info now, and have been in touch ever since (this was in early November). But if she hadn't been there, I probably would've stayed for maybe an hour and then we'd have gotten together with our other friends there.

I personally felt about the same as I did in HS - though not as insecure. But the "popular girls" had some gig going where they did the "most children", "most different",etc. awards. And of course it was all of their clique. They're still just a bunch of cheerleaders, even in their late thirties.

Laken, I can't BELIEVE your classmates did that. How f*cking rude of them. Know that you are *way* better than that, and you certainly don't look aged to me!

Bastet · Kate Spade

My 10 year is coming up in 2006 and I'm undecided about whether or not I'll go. Most of high school wasn't a positive experience for me. I didn't have a lot of self esteem or a real idea of who I wanted to be. I'm still in touch with my close friends from high school, so I don't feel like I need to go to a reunion to find people. But, I'm embarassed to admit that I'm a little curious to see how some of the bullies ended up. Especially since I'm so happy with the way my life is right now. College reunions are an entirely different animal. I *loved* college and would definitely go back for reunions.

Laken, your hs classmates were so rude! I was under the impression that people grew out of stuff like that. Yuck!

-- Edited by Bastet at 15:37, 2005-12-19

Cortney1982 · Chanel

I didn't know schools did 5 year reunions. If mine did, I would not attend, simply because enough time has not gone by. I want to be more grown up and accomplished!

I will go to my ten year. You can bet I will be planning a super cool outfit!

OMG Laken! I cannot believe they are still acting like high schoolers! They are probably just jealous of you and wanted to bring you down to their level so they would feel better about themselves.

Andrea Julia · Coach

I would have TOTALLY gone if we had a 5 year reunion. That was around the time I graduated from college and was such a great time of my life and I would have felt totally confident seeing my old classmates. I was pretty quiet and not at all popular and felt like I made a lot of progress in those 5 years. Also, I still cared what people were doing because I still spoke to some of them. And, I think if we had a 5 year, I would have been more likely to go to my 10 year. Then, I would have at least spoken to my classmates once in the past 10 years and have something to talk about.

My 10 year will be in 2 years and I really doubt I'm going to go. First of all, I am not in touch with anyone anymore. Aside from about 3 people, I haven't spoken to these people once in the past 10 years. Second of all, I don't really care so much what people I wasn't even friends with are doing. Third of all, I don't have anything to show off, which I think is the main reason people who are not still in touch with classmates go. Not that my life is horrible, but I don't have kids, a husband, or a super-exciting job to talk about (things that wouldn't have been an issue at the 5 year). I think I could be convinced if an old friend specifically called me to go, but otherwise, I have no interest.

luckylily · Gucci

My 10 yr was a couple years ago and I didn't go. I really hate small talk and fake conversations where people pretend that they care about what you have to say, and I just figured there would be too much of that. My theory is that if I wanted to know what people where up to, I would have kept in touch.

Maybe I am still a little bit bitter, I couldn't wait to get out of high school. I'm getting tense just thinking about it. High school wasn't awful for me, but I do feel that my life has gotten better and better every year since.

University was a really good experience for me, and I love reconnecting with those friends.

Ally S · Kate Spade

Laken I am so sorry this happened. They were wrong and they were fools to even do something like this, but I agree with Dizzy.

I have a few more years on you...I am 41. I have NEVER attended a reunion. I reunite with the people I hung with during HS, I never felt the need to go back and revisit that time. HS basically sucked, I thought I was happy but later realized I was just doing someone else's thing to get by.

I don't plan on attending a reunion, why go back when I have the people I knew then still close to me and have a whole new set of friends who are non-judgmental.

flknight24 · Dooney & Bourke

laken1 - You are not "aged", you look great.

lynnie - I actually had a really great time at my 10-year reunion (we didn't have a 5 year). I had a really good HS experience and have kept in touch with many of my friends from hs but not as many as I would have liked. I've done a better job with my college friends. Anyway, at my reunion I was able to catch up with a lot of the people I had lost contact with and wished I hadn't and it also made me really appreciate the friendships I had maintained. The "event" (i.e. location, food, games) left a little to be desired but overall it was fun. I'm not sure I would have gone out of my way to go to my 5-year but I'm very glad I went to the 10-year. Plus, like prom, graduation, etc. it's one of those events you can't ever do again. If you don't go to your reunion you can do it again some other time. Your 5-year hs reunion only happens once (although, you will have a 10-year, 20-year, etc. so I'm not sure this is a good rationalization). So I guess I would say go or even if you decide not to go to this one think about going to your 10-year.

lynnie · Chanel

after reading this, i think i'll wait til the 10 year and see how i feel then. 5 years is too soon! i'm so curious though ..