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Post Info TOPIC: poll
? [37 vote(s)]

yes
10.8%
no
89.2%
sephorablue


Marc Jacobs

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RE: hypothetical situation poll (long)
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yeah, I can see why you feel like he should have been a little more pro-active about discouraging her, but it's also true that in his frame of reference, his total lack of interest would have been more than enough to give any normal woman the right idea. I don't know your BF's personality, obviously, but I do know that a lot of guys can be really passive when women come onto them and they aren't interested; they sort of go into deer-in-headlights mode. Although then again, if it were me in his situation, I wouldn't feel comfortable hanging out as friends with someone who had aggressively hit on me despite my having told them I was taken --I would want to avoid them. But I REALLY don't understand her at all--how does someone have so little dignity that she throws herself at someone who is displaying no more interest than basic friendliness, even after he told her he had a girlfriend? That is SAD.

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cc


Marc Jacobs

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-- Edited by cc at 14:31, 2006-02-02

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sephorablue


Marc Jacobs

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Posts: 2159
Date:
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cc wrote:

I guess my attitude is if I can't trust my boyfriend to hang out with another woman, why the heck would I be with him in the first place and if he's the sort to stray me saying "I don't want you hanging out alone with other girls or letting them sleep on the couch" probably isn't going to prevent that from happening. So that's that. Thanks for putting up with all these long posts!-- Edited by cc at 20:31, 2005-10-12
haha, you're so right--I've never understood the "you can't hang out with other women" etc attitude either. The whole point is that if a guy loves you, he won't be romantically interested in other women, so why the hell does it matter if he hangs out with them? And if he IS interested in them, then you've got problems you can't solve just by telling him not to.

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Maddie


Coach

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Posts: 1913
Date:
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cc wrote:
As for guys having female friends and hanging out alone with them, I don't have any problem with that and I don't know how I could function in a relationship if I did. All of the guys that I know have female friends and when I was single I often spent one-on-one time with guy friends who were in serious relationships. And I certainly wouldn't put up with a boyfriend who wasn't cool with me hanging out with my guy friends all the time. Maybe if I liked jockish sorts who were just into hanging with other guys I'd have a boyfriend who didn't hang out with other girls sometimes but my social circles have always been really mixed and I can't imagine it any other way. I guess my attitude is if I can't trust my boyfriend to hang out with another woman, why the heck would I be with him in the first place and if he's the sort to stray me saying "I don't want you hanging out alone with other girls or letting them sleep on the couch" probably isn't going to prevent that from happening.


I could have written this paragraph. Anyway, at least it sounds like the girl is starting to understand the situation.

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Marc Jacobs

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Posts: 2053
Date:
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she just seems like yet another girl who likes a guy with a girlfriend.  it's probably happened to the best of us at one point or another and usually because the "does he have a girlfriend?" question was left unanswered for long enough to get emotionally entangled.  so fine, it happened.  maybe he was ambiguous, maybe he wasn't (how's that for ambiguous ) and since we weren't present during their lunches or hang out sessions or whatever there's no way to really know the answer to that question.  anyway, at this point he should probably just cease and desist all communication with her and his refusal to engage will leave her no choice but to hurry up and get over him. 


oh and i didn't think for one second that you were this girl because a) i remember you saying you had a boyfriend and b) our cc just isn't like that.



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