I've been dating this guy, K, for the past couple months, and I made sure that I never in any way implied to him that we were committed. But he got more and more worshipful of me, started bring me flowers, making me cards, getting me my favorite thai iced tea, stuff like that. Anyway, he did something really not okay about a week and a half ago, and I pretty much ignored him after that, except for when I went dancing, but I was distant that night. And then he gave me a pink cardboard cut-out heart with some insanely sappy stuff written on it. Basically, since then, I've been trying to figure out how to break it off with him and not have him freak out.
He has called me 2 times and written me one e-mail since Wednesday, none of which I have returned. So he called this morning at 7:20 am, and I didn't pick up, because who calls that early? He wanted me to call him on my way to work, but I'm not about to have that kind of conversation on my way to work. Well, as far as I could remember I never told him the name of the company I work at, and certainly not where I park. Especially since I never park in the same spot (parking is ridiculous near my work). But I get out of my car, and there he is, walking towards me from across the street. I hoped really hard that wasn't him, and tried to pretend I didn't see him. But he came right up to me, and said "Don't be scared, I'm not going to hurt you. I don't want to be weird or creepy, I'm not going to do anything bad." Needless to say, I was just a BIT freaked out. Anyway, he wanted to talk, but I had to go to work. I was shaking when I got into work, but I wrote him an e-mail, because now I REALLY don't want to see him.
Sorry that was so long, I just had to share my first stalking experience.
Document everything!! Save that e-mail! Save everything, just in case you need to get a restraining order in the future. This guy sounds a little wacko.
Yikes! What did you say in the email that you sent him after the confrontation? I hope you break it off with him asap, then hopefully he will just leave you alone! (Hopefully, when you break it off, he will stop following you around or obsessing over you like a lost little puppy......ugh, guys like that are so annoying.) And I agree w/ Tati -- use the buddy system!
I wrote him an e-mail as soon as I got to work, breaking it off. I think after this experience it's best to minimize face to face time. And yeah, I told all my co-workers about what he did this morning, so they're on the lookout.
** Yes, this is salsa boy.
Thanks for the concern ladies! You're all so wonderful!
gingembre1 wrote: But he came right up to me, and said "Don't be scared, I'm not going to hurt you. I don't want to be weird or creepy, I'm not going to do anything bad." Needless to say, I was just a BIT freaked out.
Uh, it's insane that he did this but that statement scares the crap out of me. Why would he even say that? I mean unless he had intention of hurting you or that was a possibility in his mind, that wouldn't have come out of his mouth. Watch yourself! So scary.
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Wow - that guy sucks. How creepy is he? Why is it that creepy people always mention specifically not being creepy?
Are you still dating the other boy too? Maybe you can have him hang around the place a bit more often. (Not that I'm a "need a man around" kind of thing but if salsa boy thinks you've moved on...)
Thank you so much girls!! He wrote an e-mail back, saying he realized how creepy he was, blah blah blah, so I'm hoping that's the end of that. I'll still run into him occasionally in salsa, but I know lots of people in the scene, and I won't be walking to my car alone for a while.
Blubirde - Yes, I'm still sort of seeing the other guy (who happens to be very tall and muscular), and he has also picked up salsa. So I think that I will be spending a bit more time with him.
Thanks again! You are all really wonderful to be concerned.
Oh my gosh! Please don't ever talk to him again in any context! And I'm so glad you're taking care of yourself by telling him to go awayand standing up to him when he's creepy! Be safe...