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sephorablue


Marc Jacobs

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moral dilemma
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Nothing dramatic, I promise. For Christmas last year, my boyfriend got me a gift certificate for a massage at a spa, which was a sweet thought and meant to give me a break from my near-constant state of overwork. But I am forgetful, and I took aaaaaages to make the appointment. He started threatening me that he was going to give it to me again for my birthday. So I finally booked it, and I was supposed to go two weekends ago, at 10:30 AM (I thought it would motivate me to get a lot done if I had to get up early on a weekend day). The night before, we went out late but not super late, and right as we got home at like 2:30 in the morning I got horribly horribly sick to my stomach. Nearly fainted, whole nine yards. Couldn't sleep until after three. Woke up at 9:30, felt exhausted and still slightly sick, tried to call them, they didn't open till 10:30, so I left a VM saying I had gotten sick and would call back to reschedule. Silly me.


I stopped by today to, I thought, make a new appt, and the receptionist told me that the massage person had already gotten paid b/c I hadn't given them notice for my cancellation. This was news to me. I am not a spa-goer, this was the first time I had heard of such a policy. I didn't get mad, because I understand why they have the policy, but it was incredibly frustrating because due to the fact that I got sick in the middle of the night the night before, I had no way to give them their notice. It's not like I messed up my dates or didn't bother to cancel or something, I just got crappy luck.


So, after much explanation, the moral dilemma is this: do I tell my boyfriend what happened, or do I lie and say I went and it was lovely? I hate the thought of lying to him, but I really think it would be worse to disappoint him by telling him his gift was wasted and I never got to enjoy it. Especially since I felt bad that it took me so long to schedule it in the first place, because I am afraid he thinks I didn't like the gift or didn't want it or something. 



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Andrea Julia


Coach

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I'm guessing the right thing to do would be to just tell the truth because it wasn't your fault or anything, but I would probably lie.  I wouldn't want to upset my boyfriend when he tried to do something nice.  I guess I feel it isn't worth potentially hurting his feelings to tell him that you weren't able to get the massage.  Or maybe you could just get a massage and pay for it yourself so that you really did get a massage.  I wouldn't do it at that place though.  That policy is kind of crappy.  There was no way for you to give them advance notice.



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Maddie


Coach

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I would lie. It seems better for everyone involved. And even if he somehow found out what happened, I don't think he would hold it against you.

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Renee


Kenneth Cole

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I would schedule again, pay for the massage. BF wanted you to enjoy the massage so I think you should do just that. Then tell him it was lovely :)

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manhattanmonkey


Kenneth Cole

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Renee wrote:
I would schedule again, pay for the massage. BF wanted you to enjoy the massage so I think you should do just that. Then tell him it was lovely :)


ditto this!!

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FashionPrincess


Hermes

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Honesty is always the best policy, not always the easiest, but in the end it is better.

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honey


Gucci

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i'm with fp, you should tell him the truth. also that spa sounds really snotty, usually they're very nice about that sort of thing. i flaked once on an appt. at mezzanine (totally mixed up the days) and they were super sweet about it. they re-scheduled it and even honored the discount (the appt. was during spa week.)

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sephorablue


Marc Jacobs

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Renee wrote:

I would schedule again, pay for the massage. BF wanted you to enjoy the massage so I think you should do just that. Then tell him it was lovely :)
I thought about doing this, but I can't afford to blow $100 on a massage... money is super-tight at the moment. Maybe I will, though, I really hate to lie, and I'd feel like a phoney going on about how great it was if I never actually got to go. Yeah, actually, I think you guys are right. See? This is why I asked!

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sephorablue


Marc Jacobs

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honey wrote:

i'm with fp, you should tell him the truth. also that spa sounds really snotty, usually they're very nice about that sort of thing. i flaked once on an appt. at mezzanine (totally mixed up the days) and they were super sweet about it. they re-scheduled it and even honored the discount (the appt. was during spa week.)
really? they told me this was industry standard. the idea behind it being, the masseur/masseuse can't use that time for anything else if they have no warning that you're not showing up for the appointment, so to protect the employees (because I imagine people would fail to show up all the time otherwise) they institute this policy. It makes sense to me, it's just that the timing sucked in my case.

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blubirde


Chanel

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Lie. Seriously, it's not a big lie and it's not going to hurt anything if you don't tell him the truth. However it could really suck for him if he knew his gift got wasted.


Unburdening our guilt is just something we do to make ourselves feel better, not the other person. It's no biggie. He'll feel better and that's what you care about right?



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jacL


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I say lie.  I think the best thing to do would be to go and get yourself a massage, but since that is out of the question, tell him you went and really liked it.  It might make you feel bad, but how is it going to hurt him?  I had to do something similar once with a pair of diamond earrings my BF gave me.  I lost one and rather than tell him, I bought a new pair.  I knew he wouldn't be able to afford a new pair, so I just never told him.  I didn't want him to feel bad.  The same goes for you--if you tell him the truth, he will feel bad. 

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FashionPrincess


Hermes

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Well, the big deal with lying is that if/when he finds out he will then question what else you lied about, even if it isn't verbalized it will always be in the back of his mind.  Not a good road to go down.



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erin


Chanel

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i would call the manager and bitch until they give you another appointment, free of charge. you had no way of knowing the policy since it was a gift. if it is a reputable place, they should make an exception.

then get the massage and tell the bf about it!

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JoceyBaby23


Gucci

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FashionPrincess wrote:

Honesty is always the best policy, not always the easiest, but in the end it is better.
I agree. It's not a big deal.. just tell him the truth.

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kenzie


Chanel

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erin wrote:

i would call the manager and bitch until they give you another appointment, free of charge. you had no way of knowing the policy since it was a gift. if it is a reputable place, they should make an exception. then get the massage and tell the bf about it!
Ditto!  And I think you should tell your bf the truth. Maybe he could even go to bat for you (or with you) at the spa and help you get your appointment.

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nunzi182


Kate Spade

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If you haven't told anyone (besides us) what really happened, then there's really no way of him finding out. So I would fib - doesn't it sound better when you call it a fib?

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esquiress


Marc Jacobs

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i'd tell the truth, if asked.  if he didn't ask, i wouldn't bring it up. 


with regard to the policy though, it's totally not industry standard.  people flake and reschedule all the time.  besides, i doubt the masseuse was just pining your absence that whole hour.  chances are he/she just took a walk-in and filled up the time.  i'd ask to talk to a manager, explain my situation, say i did in fact give notice by leaving a voice mail message that morning and that due to my illness, there's no earlier notice i could've given. 


basically, at this point the receptionist is just asking you to take her word that the masseuse was put out and had to be paid, but the fact of the matter is you've been given no proof that anyone was inconvenienced, and you had a legitimate reason for not showing up.  for that reason alone, the manager should reschedule the massage, i mean, that's just good business, isn't it?



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Claudia


Gucci

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Don't lie. A relationship is built on trust and honesty. Explain to him what happen and I'm more than sure he'll understand.



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