honestly, i think if he's worthy of your friendship then he will be fine w/ the letter. i've written letters like this before to a variety of responses. some of which were complete cut-off of communication. others were joking it off (i.e. "i was never interested in you, sheesh, a little conceited?" to which i said "ya, sorry, i'm so used to guys hitting on me, it's a knee-jerk response. glad you're not interested cuz i really want to be friends.") so whatever his response is, it has less to do w/ what you write and more to do w/ what kind of person he is. good luck!
I think it's very good. Don't put in the part about the "vacation guy" for various reasons. One, I think it might give him hope that if it "doesn't work out" between you, he would have a chance. Also, there's no need for it and being caught in lies sucks especially if they're unnecessary. I think the friendly way you start and end are good and help downplay the awkwardness of the middle.
I think it's a good letter. I like how you made it all about you - very psych-worthy of you. My only concern is the last sentence of the second paragraph. "I have been worried that you and I could end up in an uncomfortable position as we did the last time we hung out." That's probably unnecessary and he may not have thought it was an uncomfortable position. If I received a letter like that, that is the only sentence that would sting a bit. (Of course I don't know what happened the last time y'all hung out so I could be totally wrong.)
But you get your point across without it, imo.
I think you're really brave to send that letter. It's a lot easier to just ignore a guy than to be upfront and honest with him. So kudos to you for telling him how it is! May I admire you today?
Perfect letter - very gracious and kind, but firm. I do think you could lsoe the sentence blubirde mentinoed, because it's sort of implied by the prior line (about you making it seem like more).
When I have sent similar, the guy actually thanked me for being honest and not leaving him hanging.
Good luck
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~ dc
"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination" - Oscar Wilde
Andrea Julia wrote: Well, I sent it. I'm feeling a little nervous.
I can imagine. I would be too. But like blubirde, I'm proud of you too. I left too many guys hanging in my day. LOL - I still fret over one guy I was SO mean to. So I admire your honesty with him. I think you'll feel better about it in the long run.
Hang in there & let us know what happens
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Who do you have to probe around here to get a Chardonnay? - Roger the Alien from American Dad
Yay! I'm so glad he took it well. That's awesome. Have fun bowling!
P.S. I once got one of those "I just want to be friends" letters after I'd hung out with someone over coffee (coffee!) one time for a couple hours. I snarked back a comment about already picking out china patterns. Petty, sure, but really - where did he get the nerve to assume I even liked him especially after only one date!?!? Besides, we couldn't be friends because we barely knew each other. I'm still proud of my china pattern comeback. I consider it one of my finest.
blubirde wrote: Yay! I'm so glad he took it well. That's awesome. Have fun bowling! P.S. I once got one of those "I just want to be friends" letters after I'd hung out with someone over coffee (coffee!) one time for a couple hours. I snarked back a comment about already picking out china patterns. Petty, sure, but really - where did he get the nerve to assume I even liked him especially after only one date!?!? Besides, we couldn't be friends because we barely knew each other. I'm still proud of my china pattern comeback. I consider it one of my finest. Hey, blubirde, are you saying that's what I did? Made the assumption that he liked me after just one date (which actually was not supposed to be a date)? He tried to kiss me and has called me to hang out a bunch. I felt like something needed to be done before I see him again. Especially since we work for the same company. I couldn't just keep putting him off and ignoring his phone calls like I might do with some guy I had no connections to.
Oh no, definitely not. It was obvious from your post (and his reply to your letter) that this was a problem that needed to be addressed. I was just relating a funny ditty from my own life that seemed to fit in with the thread. Granted I wrote it at about 3 in the morning so it's entirely possible I flubbed it all up!!