STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

greendiamond · Marc Jacobs

Hubby lost his job

Hermes

Oh no. I am so sorry. As much as I know this is easier said, perhaps focusing on the new venture full-time is what it needs to take off.

As for a second job, is it absolutely essential that you have the income from one, or do you think you can scrape by for a bit? What about your husband getting that "second" job at starbucks or something?

alb · Marc Jacobs

Sorry you're going through this. I wish I had some advice to offer you, but FWIW it sounds like everything will work out. That's great that your husband has his new business. Maybe this will be a blessing in disguise as it will allow him to focus on that sooner rather than later. Hang in there.

Boots · Gucci

I'm so sorry to hear this. And I get that sometimes when bad things happen, you just want to scream out "THIS SUCKS!" without somebody trying to find the silver lining right away. So take the time to scream a bit and I'll bet the silver lining will show up all on it's own.

TheLovelyLady71 · Hermes

WOW, sorry to hear about the hubby. Good luck!

wetbandit42 · Marc Jacobs

I'm so sorry to hear about that GD. (((Hugs)))

greendiamond · Marc Jacobs

Boots wrote:

And I get that sometimes when bad things happen, you just want to scream out "THIS SUCKS!" without somebody trying to find the silver lining right away.

Exactly. I typically need one day to scream that it sucks, and then I can move on. But, I need a day to be angry first. And I think that's okay.

Thanks everyone for your support. I'm already doing better than I was this morning. In fact, I've already fired off a resume and cover letter for a new job for myself.

We will be okay for awhile if I don't get new employment. I'm not going to ask DH to get a second job. It makes sense that he focus on his new business. And, he's had no less than 2 jobs for the 11 years we've been together. The man is a workaholic, and I can't wait to know him as a man with a single job.

I've gone to great lengths to get in the Christmas spirit this year, and I can help but feel that its squashed a little bit.

The hardest part is telling friends and family and watching as they awkwardly try to figure out what to say.

Hermes

Totally understandable - it does suck! Sorry I wasn't a better commisserator

As for what to say to people, I wouldn't worry about it. Just say that he is now placing his focus on the new venture, and that you appreciate their support. No need to go into details if you dont want to...

and if anyone says soemthing to the effect of it being risky, then just say that "nothing successful was ever attained without an element of risk!"

Boots · Gucci

At Christmas don't give them that awkward moment after you tell family that he was laid off, just go right into how this is exactly what he needs to make the new business fly. If you seem extremely excited by your husband's new business and focus the topic mainly on that, other people will too. They don't like that awkward moment either.

Yana · Dooney & Bourke

I"m so sorry to read about it. It's tough...I hope new venture picks up FAST. My husband opened his new biz about 3 years ago...he's VERY good in sales, but every biz needs a few years to start producing money & we are still barely making it from month to month, so I understand how it is...I"m also unemployed & to have any future decided to go study as of Jan...I know, it's little consolation, just wanted to share. I wish you luck & more patience at your work. I know how it is to come to the place you hate...I hope new year will smile upon you & your family & bring you much peace and success!

Suasoria · Chanel

(((Hugs)))

ayo · Coach

I hope this isn't me being "pollyanna" but as a word of encouragement. My husband quit his job in 2007 and started his own business. We had a child, a new house, two new cars and I was scared to DEATH. We did have a lot of savings so that helped and yes there was a times when things were a little slow with his business and I was a little worried about where things would end up. With all of that being said, I still think it was the best decision for us. The only advice I will give (if I may), be as supportive as you can because he is going to need it a LOT.

NCshopper · Hermes

Ugh. That SUCKS. What a horrible time of year for that to happen. I'm really sorry to hear about this. :(

pollyjean23 · Marc Jacobs

I'm sorry that you and your husband are experiencing another layoff. Let's hope for something even better to roll along very soon!

greendiamond · Marc Jacobs

Thank you everyone for your comments.

I am feeling much better about it today.

I've decided to look for a new job. I haven't been at this one long so I feel guilty about looking; but I'm not happy here and we could use more income. I shouldn't feel bad about that, so I'm just not going to.

We have enough savings to bridge the gap in our income until summer without making any real changes to our spending. Unforunately, since he did just open a business, much of the savings we had went to that. But, I am confidant in the new venture and I will be completely supportive.

The fear I had yesterday is starting to subside as I look at things more realistically.

What I'm most pissed about now is that I feel for every step forward we take two steps back. We play by the rules. Went to college to get good jobs, bought a house because they are such a good investment, are waiting to have kids until we can raise them the way we want, and invest in retirement funds...... All the things I was raised to believe are not playing out in life.... I have a job I could have had out of highschool. The house is worth less than we owe, the market hasn't been great to our retirement accounts (still making up losses from several years ago), and friends who have children manage to scrape by.

I feel lied to.

gossipgirl · Dooney & Bourke

So sorry to hear - too many of these stories nowadays

kenzie · Chanel

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Best of luck to your hubby with his new business endeavor. And I'm sorry for all of your other frustrations. I've definitely been there where I feel like I've done everything right, but everything is going horribly wrong. Hugs!

-- Edited by kenzie on Friday 10th of December 2010 08:00:28 AM

Hermes

One thing I have learned in life is to plan on things never working out how you planned. All you can do is strive for the best life you can. You can always predict that life will be unpredictable. Keep your eye on the prize and keep striving for that - one day things will fall into place. I feel like things are finally falling into place for me, and I feared they never would. I never stopped dreaming, though. Keep going for the gold and one day it will all pay off.

kenzie · Chanel

D wrote:

One thing I have learned in life is to plan on things never working out how you planned. All you can do is strive for the best life you can. You can always predict that life will be unpredictable. Keep your eye on the prize and keep striving for that - one day things will fall into place. I feel like things are finally falling into place for me, and I feared they never would. I never stopped dreaming, though. Keep going for the gold and one day it will all pay off.

Well said. I spent the better part of (okay, all) of my 20s feeling like things would never work out. Things finally starting pick up in the last 4 months of 2010.

greendiamond · Marc Jacobs

Thank you, ladies. It is helpful to be reminded that things don't go as planned. All in all I have it pretty good, I just need to remind myself of that.

I just imagined I'd be more settled in my 30s. I guess that just isn't meant to be at 31..... I do have 9 more years to make that dream of feeling settled true. Or maybe I should be more specific in my wishes, "30s" is rather vague!