STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

KaffeeKlatsch · Marc Jacobs

Does any one else internalize blame???

greendiamond · Marc Jacobs

It's normal. And it sucks.

Most folks I know either take ALL the blame on themselves or don't take on ANY. And, if you are in a situation with someone who isn't taking any blame, I think it is easy for someone prone to responsibility to somehow misconstrew that as their cue to take the blame. And, other times one person doesn't WANT it to be the other person's fault. In general, we can be pretty hard on ourselves.

As someone who can't stop eating when I'm stressed, I have very little to offer in this department. But, perhaps you can focus on the things you still like about your body, and try not to focus too much negative energy on places that don't look the way you are used to them looking. It's hard to do, but is worth trying.

In the mean time, maybe you can find someone who can help remind you that what is happening isn't your fault. Sometimes we need some validation from the outside, no matter how much we know something to be true, logically.

I hope the stress passes quickly and things turn around for you soon!

Hermes

green diamond give good advice.

for me, I've learned how to shut off that inner voice that beats me up. when I know I'm at fault, I remind myself there's nothing I can do about it and shut the beat-up voice off. learning to silence my inner voice is one of the best things I have ever done for myself.

Boots · Gucci

Completely normal if you're a girl (funny, but guys don't seem to have this blame probably all that much.) I think the best advice is to treat yourself like you would treat your best friend. If you would not say something negative to your best friend about herself, you should not be saying it yourself. I know it's not easy, but you have to remember that you are worth it.

I tend to stop eating when I'm overly stressed too. I have to make myself eat a full meal even if I'm not hungry. I tell myself that it's fuel for my body, not just a way to satisfy hunger. I only get worried when I drop more than 3 or 4 pounds though, because I know when thing get better, I'll gain it back.