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Post Info TOPIC: Drama-Rama (feeling uncomfortable in social situations)


Nine West

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Drama-Rama (feeling uncomfortable in social situations)
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Im going to my HS reunion this week. 

Its being held in my hometown
(i'll be spending alot of money/time to fly there from NYC)
& i feel weird b/c my ex-best friend will be there...
she hasn't spoken to me since her wedding 3 yrs ago & i have no idea why(nor do my friends)...
ive done nothing wrong, but the fact that she'll be there is stressing me out!
I don't want her to ruin my good time, but i feel so weird having to share a space with her.

Any advice on feeling 'normal" in a weird situation is appreciated.



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Marc Jacobs

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That does sound like a potentially stressful situation. Go to the reunion, and try to focus on the event and how fun it will be.  Remember, it is neither the time nor place to attend to the situation with your ex-best-friend. You are there simply for the reunion, and reunions are anxiety-filled events enough to begin with. It does not mean that you should ignore her, of course.  If you find yourself mingling in a group with her, perhaps you can initiate a simple, positive, gracious, and calm hello. But, because she was the one who separated herself from you and the rest of your group, let it be up to her to initiate any talk of the split. You can find a quiet corner and deal with it, or--if you don't feel comfortable talking to her at that time--you can tell her that you would be interested in talking to her about it more in the future, at a different time.  Maybe give her your phone number and/or email (or, if you have the time and interest, suggest meeting for coffee or lunch). Best wishes, and have fun!

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Nine West

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Pollyjean23, You're absolutely right!
I'm just going to focus on having fun!
She wont say anything to me, but just incase, positive, gracious, and calm are the 3 things i'll keep in the back of my mind :)
THANK YOU i really do feel better now!


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Chanel

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Ideally there will be so many people there that you *do* want to see that the few people you don't won't be a bother. But if you haven't done anything wrong then it's not you who should feel stressed out! Maybe she'll avoid you.

If you do meet up with her, intentionally or accidentally, just make small talk - "it's nice to see you, how have you been? how are your parents doing?" etc. Most reunions are just superficial chitchat anyway.

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Gucci

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I went to my grade school reunion last year and was soooooo nervous about it. I was never part of the popular cliques and was picked on pretty bad for the last 2 years of school. But I am so glad I went. It was extremely cathartic for me. I spoke with just about everybody and we basically caught up on each other's lives. It was a good chance for me to realize that everyone grows up at some point and the memories I had from 24 years ago aren't who these people are today.

I say go and just focus on having a good time. If you get a chance to speak to the ex-best friend, keep it casual, friendly and short. The nice thing about parties like this is that you always have an out by suddenly "spotting" a person across the room that you haven't said hello to yet.

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Dooney & Bourke

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1. Looking fabulous is the best revenge!
2. The fact that you have no idea what you've done wrong - makes it easy. You know you have nothing to be ashamed for. However, for her it might be an issue, since she was the one who got offended at something only she knows. So, let her be nervous, dress up & own the party!

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