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stylethread site home page -> stylethread forum -> relationships -> Augh. My wonderful boy needs SPACE.
Post Info TOPIC: Augh. My wonderful boy needs SPACE.
killa


Dooney & Bourke

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Posts: 988
Date:
Augh. My wonderful boy needs SPACE.
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Even though I never call and never ask him to get together, my new boy (of almost 2 weeks) needs SPACE.

WTF?!?

Then he tells me "I like you a lot," "things are going too fast," (I agree) and "it's so good to talk to you and hear your voice."

He just got out of a long relationship in June. I just got out of one in July, but I think I am doing way better than he is.

This is just so frustrating because I feel like he was the one pursuing me the whole time and I was in a really good place until the last few days, I started to really like him back. He even made me a romantic mix CD and gave it to me on our first date. At first, he was calling and asking me to hang out like every day and I would say, no, I am going to spend time with the girls today ...

I am pissed at him and if he calls me today or tomorrow, I am not answering — which will be sooo hard because I really like him!

When he told me all this, I was just very cool, nice and understanding. I just said I wanted him to do what was best for him and wanted him to be happy.

AUGH!!!!!!!!

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janey831


Kate Spade

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Posts: 1064
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stay strong!!!

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blink


Coach

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Posts: 1652
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Wow, what a mixed signal!  Do exactly what he asked, give him the space and play that so-called game.  It's hard, but if he is a guy you really like and he likes you the same but he's just freaking out, it will be worth it when he comes back around....which seriously might just be a couple days because it sounds to me like he was really into you.

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blubirde


Chanel

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Posts: 4845
Date:
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space, schmace. Whatever. Fine, give him space. He'll want you even more after that. Boys are such idiots.


Stay strong and do your own thing for a few days. He'll come crawling when he doesn't have a date this weekend, I promise.



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killa


Dooney & Bourke

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Posts: 988
Date:
RE: Augh. My wonderful boy needs SPACE. *update*
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Boys are dumb.

You girls are right — all I needed was to not call and he was there, calling me!

We spent the night together Friday night and it was awesome. He left Saturday morning and still no call ... Sunday night.

Whatever.

I feel like an idiot. I feel like he has the upper hand.

So, new plan: I still am not calling him AND when he calls, I am not calling back till AT LEAST a day later.

He can wait.

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lynnie


Chanel

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Posts: 3612
Date:
RE: Augh. My wonderful boy needs SPACE.
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i feel like in the begginning of dating, it is often a power game, with each side wanting to be in control, have the upper hand, and not get hurt.  While lots of people hate "playing games" or whatever, I feel like it makes sense with someone you don't know that well- i dont know if i'd be rushing to the phone after a day- i still don't with my bf and we've been together for over 2.5 years!  I'd just play it as it happens- it will either fizzle out or heat up- and until then, I wouldn't stress over his calls, like you said.  Its like in swingers, they call when you don't care anymore.  Somehow they sense it.  You randomly, unexpectedly met a great guy and you can randomly, unexpectedly meet another great guy- so you have absolutely nothing to worry about.  The worst that could happen is that he could lose YOU. 

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splash


Kenneth Cole

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Posts: 321
Date:
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Whoa, this is so confusing! I don't get how playing games can be combined with seeing each other every day in the beginning - the latter I would usually interpret as meaning you're incredibly into each other, but the former makes me want to be very careful. Since he's recently out a long relationship, I guess it makes sense that he's into you (so the daily thing) but a little wary of a new relationship (depending how the last ended). It seems like you're making the right decision to slow the process down. Not calling you this weekend - did he say he would? Is this a longer time between contact than usual? If no, then don't worry, but if yes, are you sure he's interested in a serious relationship?

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killa


Dooney & Bourke

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Posts: 988
Date:
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Who knows what he is thinking!

All I know is it takes me about two days to get over it.

It has been two days, so he'll probably call soon (because I don't care anymore).

It's fine.

It's just hard at first because if he doesn't call, I feel rejected.
But now I feel like I am rejecting him by not really caring anymore.

NOW who has the upper hand?!!
Hee hee

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