STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

fashionista L · Coach

I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tomorrow... I am really freaked out!!

ejc423 · Coach

Oh sweetie, I will be thinking about you. You are doing a very brave thing and it sounds like you know in your heart that it is the best thing for you. I hope things are as easy/ smooth as they could be. Do stay busy and have fun with your girlfriends. Do something fun outside like tubing on a river or horseback riding. Doing out of the ordinary stuff will help take your mind off him and remind you that you can have fun and be happy without him. Hugs and good luck. We'll be here waiting for an update.

Tati · Chanel

Good luck, obviously you feel and know this is the right decision for you to make, be strong. keep us posted.....

laken1 · Hermes

It sounds like you are doing the right thing - I promise, I know it is hard right now, but after you get out, you will see all the possibilities there are for you. Just keep busy, hook up with some girlfriends or make some new ones, exercise class is always a good idea - concentrate on you & what you really want.

Good luck with the yucky conversation, please let us know what happens & we will give you as much support as we can. {{{{{hugs}}}}}

NCshopper · Hermes

Good luck girl! It sounds like that's not going to be an easy conversation to have, but it also sounds like you're doing the right thing by getting out of the relationship. Take some yoga, pilates, and hang out with the folks that love you. Retail therapy never hurt either!

Good luck and let us know how it turns out!

JoceyBaby23 · Gucci

You are doing the right thing! Good luck!

shopgirl82 · Chanel

good luck. it seems that if your family and people who care about you and can see the situation from the outside think it's a good idea...it probably is. it's a really brave thing, but you'll feel better eventually. take care.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

good luck! i was in a similar situation once before and can promise you that if you break up with him and move on, your life is going to be a million times better!

i'm going to offer you some unsolicited advice: perhaps you should move your stuff out before you have this conversation. you're the one who knows your boyfriend best and what your relationship is like, but when you wrote that he said he "f*cking hated you," that made me wonder if he had the potential to become violent. boyfriends should never speak to you that way. if your family hates him so much and he's been the sole focus of your life for so long, i also wonder if he has alienated you from your friends. that is something abusers do -- they alienate you from everyone else so that you fall more easily under their control and depend on them. and if he's been calling other girls for two years like that, i wonder what it's done to your self esteem. the guy doesn't deserve you.

if i seem like i'm really flying off the handle here, here's why. i react strongly to hearing things like this because i was in a four year relationship once that was emotionally abusive. he tried to control who my friends were and belittled me; when i finally broke up with him i was terrified too because he'd been the biggest part of my life for a long time. then he stalked me for months (which i wrote about in another post a while back, so i won't bore you here). i wish i had been more self protective and realized earlier really the kind of person he was. it would have saved me a lot of pain and fear. so, i hope with all my heart that this does not turn into that kind of situation for you. when all is said and done, i am worlds happier now than i was back then, and the same will be true for you. please put yourself first and be careful, and get out of the apartment and away from him as soon as possible.

-- Edited by scarlett at 11:52, 2005-07-26

kenzie · Chanel

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} Please do keep us posted on what happens.

This is a crappy situation but based on what you've said, you are clearly making the right decision. Good luck!

rocky · Coach

You are definitely doing the right thing. Stay strong! I remember how hard it was to break up with my ex of 2.5 years. I was so close with his family too. But he also needed to grow up on his own because it never would've happened if I stayed with him. It is super hard being alone at first. But you will be able to focus on yourself and your friends and you will be much happier in the end!

Mandy · Kate Spade

fashionista L wrote:

he told me he f***ing hated me

I agree, this is not something that loving normal boyfriends say. You are absolutely doing the right thing. Hang out with your girlfriends and family. I just went through a divorce and while it was really tough at first, my friends and family were amazing and I feel like I have been able to start to move on. I also took a belly-dancing class with some friends and it helped to do something so different and silly.

Be strong. You deserve better.

(((hugs)))

luckylily · Gucci

You deserve someone who treats you so much better than that. There is no excuse whatsoever for him talking to you that way, saying he hates you.

I know this is hard, but stay strong. When it is all over, it will be a huge relief for you.

fashionista L · Coach

Thanks for all your advice I have never gone through this before so I am new to the whole breakup thing. I will keep you posted.