STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Kelly · Hermes

can I bring a guest to this wedding?

Elle · Hermes

All the cards have the "Number of persons" line on it, but it isn't intended to be used to 'add' people that are not already on the invite IMO. If you and your BF live together and the folks having the wedding know him too and/or you've been together for quite some time, IMO it's also a little tacky to leave him off the invite entirely. If they've never met him and/or you don't live together, I think it's understandable they would leave him off the invite. 'And Guest' s can get expensive fast, so they very well may be nixing unknown 'guests' on purpose (we did).

If you're close to the couple, you could always call and ask as long as you do it tactfully and give them an easy out. If you're not especially close, I'd prepared to go it alone (or send a card/gift and your best wishes instead).

Kelly · Hermes

We don't live together (we are actually going to be moving in together in just a few weeks but there's no way the couple could have known that yet). We've been dating a couple years and the couple has met him once at a family event, but they probably didn't talk more than five minutes so they barely know him (if they remember him at all).

It has just occurred to me that the "number of persons" line is probably for invites that go to whole families. I feel idiotic not thinking of that before! I just don't remember ever seeing that line on an RSVP card before...either I was being totally oblivious in the past or else everyone I know sends unstandard invitations :)

-- Edited by Kelly on Saturday 22nd of May 2010 11:47:55 AM

Suasoria · Chanel

It sounds like it's only for you but long-term/live-in partners should really be included. I think Elle is right, you could call and say "this is awkward but I wasn't sure if Joe was included or not. We're moving in together in June and it would be nice if I could bring him." They may not be aware that it's a serious thing.

Boots · Gucci

I would call too (actually, I'd email. Less awkward to me ) Helping with the little brother's wedding last year made me realize that while people all know that there are wedding rules & guidelines, not everybody follows the same set of rules. The bride & groom might just assume that you'd be bringing your boyfriend but didn't think to address the invite "And Guest." Or they might be only inviting married couples. Only way to tell is to ask politely.

Aurora · Marc Jacobs

I'd email if you know the couple well and want to attend the wedding with your boyfriend. I know for our wedding we added "and guest" to the invite of our single friends but it worked out since we had budgeted for 120 and barely met that considering we were having an out of town wedding and the older folks on both sides didn't want to travel.

Luv2Shop · Kate Spade

Suasoria wrote:

It sounds like it's only for you but long-term/live-in partners should really be included. I think Elle is right, you could call and say "this is awkward but I wasn't sure if Joe was included or not. We're moving in together in June and it would be nice if I could bring him." They may not be aware that it's a serious thing.

I agree. If one of our guests that was invited to our wedding had a serious boy/girlfried that we didn't know about, I wouldn't have wanted them to have to come to our wedding without them. I think that was the case with one of my hubby's cousins, we didn't know he had a long term girlfriend and his Aunt let us know so we told them it was fine to bring her.