STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

honey · Gucci

i think i'm becoming anti-social

poptart · Coach

Hmm. It doesn't sound to me like you're becoming antisocial. It sounds like you are just ready for new things. I can say for sure that I did go through something similar after college. For me, it was a little different, b/c I was about an hour away from my school. But I lived with a girl I met in college and we desperately wanted to meet and make friends with new people, but of course always ended up either hanging out with people from school or hanging out with each other and whatever random guys we were dating. It took time, but we did eventually meet new people. So from my experience, I would just say keep trying to extend your social circle - even if it means doing it on your own. I don't want to rehash the usual "ways to meet people" suggestions, but I would advise literally throwing yourself into any invitation that you receive from someone outside your group!

I don't know if this helped, but wanted to say that you're definitely not alone in this.

(Oh, and it's Saturday night and I bailed on all my friends so I could stay home and get some work done. Now I'm procrastinating my checking out the forum. If one of us has an antisocial prob, it's probably me!

)

lynnie · Chanel

I feel that way sometimes too, and I'm barely out of college. Heck, I felt that way during college, after my "group" was established. How do people meet each other? I meet individuals I like, but it's not like I'm part of their group or anything- it is hard to meet a group of people that you just click with and will include you. Especially as you grow up and people get married or spend most of their time at work or with their significant others. Already, my friends mainly just hang out with their boyfriends. I want partners in crime that will bring out my crazy side. I guess I just don't want to feel like i'm missing out on my youth- i want to have adventures and meet awesome and amazing people. Most people I know aren't of this disposition however, and cool people are hard to come by. Have you tried maybe traveling with one of those tour groups that are mainly for young people? A girl I met in France last year (she was british), went with a group of people her age to Thailand a couple of years ago and she had so much fun because everyone there wanted to meet new people and explore. i am thinking about doing something like this or getting involved in a preservation effort of sorts (my friend is going to Costa Rica for a month to do this!) Maybe you just need to shake up your own life so it doesn't feel like you are always doing the same things.

luckylily · Gucci

Hmmm...I dearly love the friendships that I made at University, but as soon as I graduated I felt the same. They were doing the same old thing and I was looking for somthing new. I was able to make new friends that share my interests a bit more.

I'm really into the local music scene, so I would go to rock shows like 3 times a week. I joined and online mailing list where people discussed local bands and shows. I met most of my closest friends thru that list. We would meet up at shows and eventually I developed great friendships w/ some of them.

I love to knit and make jewelry. I took classes involving both of those activities and made friends there.

I also did some volunteer work, our local animal shelter and a group that assists people living w/ advanced AIDS. I met cool people through those activities too.

The kicker is that I'm actually really shy and I have a hard time developing new friendships. If I can, I certainly think you can. I guess I'm just saying that I think you should get yourself out there doing things you really enjoy, even if it means doing them by yourself sometimes.

honey · Gucci

i should've prefaced my first post by saying i've been very emotional this week. i've met lots of new people, but it's really hard to bring all the new people together with the old ones b/c a lot of my old friends only want to do things if they involve the pre-existing circle. one of my friends actually yelled at me on sat. b/c i didn't really want to go out, but i couldn't really explain that it wasn't that i didn't want to go out, it's just that i didn't want to hang out with the same people which usually gets interpreted as i don't like the old people. i do, i just didn't want to see them for the upteemth weekend in a row.

blubirde · Chanel

ugh honey, I know exactly what you're going through. I get bored really easily, especially when I hang out with the same people all the time. It's like every weekend we go to the same bars, the same clubs, and with the same people.

Here's what I do: I invite different friends to town for the weekend or out to do something. Then I have guaranteed plans with someone different than my usual group. I tell the group my friend X is in town and we're doing this on Saturday night and would they care to join? If not, you get a weekend without the same crowd and you like them more the next time you see them. If so, you get a different experience and different people and maybe your circle will open up a bit more.

Hope you feel better soon. I hate when everything starts to look the same.