STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

splash · Kenneth Cole

what's going on?

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

that does sound very confusing. i haven't been in that exact scenario, but if i were, there are two things i would do. one, i'd just flat out ask him what was up. i'd rather just know how he feels then drive myself crazy wondering and anaylyzing what he's doing and saying (and believe me, i have analyzed the heck out of mundane interactions and learned for my sanity to just bypass it!). and two, if i didn't want to be with him in that way or if it turned out he didn't want to be with me, i would cut off all contact until i was over him. if he's having a horrible summer he doesn't need to make that your problem and rely on you to cheer him up or make him feel wanted. i guess a signal to watch out for would be if he's not concerned with you or how you're feeling -- if it doesn't bother him that this confuses you, then he's just thinking about himself and not worthy of your friendship.

blubirde · Chanel

Memories light the corners of my mind.
Misty water color memories of the way we were.
Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind.
Smiles we gave to one another for the way we were.
Can it be that it was all so simple then,
Or has time rewritten every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again,
tell me, Would we? Could we?
Memories may be beautiful, and yet,What's too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget.
So it's the laughter we will remember,
When ever we remember the way we were,
The way we were.

Ah, past loves. It really is easy to forget all the bad stuff isn't it? It's also really easy to slip into what's comfortable and what feels good. Here are two things I know for sure in the boy/girl world: 1) It's fun and easy to flirt and 2) Everyone always wants everyone else to want them, especially an ex, as long as it doesn't become too cumbersome.

Keep your feet on the ground, splash, and you'll be fine. I would be confused too. Maybe even a little excited at the thought of getting back together - only remembering the good stuff. All I can say is that you've spent all this time healing and trying to get over him. It would be a shame to undo all your hard work when the same mistakes are just going to repeat themselves. Here's one of my pieces of advice that I live by: stop making the same old stupid mistakes and start making new ones. If you think the same problems are still there (and it sounds like you do), do yourself a favor and stay away from the flirting ex. They're always trouble.
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gingembre1 · Kate Spade

blubirde wrote:

Memories light the corners of my mind.Misty water color memories of the way we were.Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind.Smiles we gave to one another for the way we were.Can it be that it was all so simple then,Or has time rewritten every line?If we had the chance to do it all again,tell me, Would we? Could we?Memories may be beautiful, and yet,What's too painful to rememberWe simply choose to forget.So it's the laughter we will remember,When ever we remember the way we were,The way we were.
Ah, past loves. It really is easy to forget all the bad stuff isn't it? It's also really easy to slip into what's comfortable and what feels good. Here are two things I know for sure in the boy/girl world: 1) It's fun and easy to flirt and 2) Everyone always wants everyone else to want them, especially an ex, as long as it doesn't become too cumbersome.
Keep your feet on the ground, splash, and you'll be fine. I would be confused too. Maybe even a little excited at the thought of getting back together - only remembering the good stuff. All I can say is that you've spent all this time healing and trying to get over him. It would be a shame to undo all your hard work when the same mistakes are just going to repeat themselves. Here's one of my pieces of advice that I live by: stop making the same old stupid mistakes and start making new ones. If you think the same problems are still there (and it sounds like you do), do yourself a favor and stay away from the flirting ex. They're always trouble.
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function fadein() { document.getElementById("lyrid").style.color="rgb(" + col + "," + col + "," + col + ")"; col-=5; if(col>0) setTimeout('fadein()', 10); }

Great advice blurbirde, I wish that I had listened to advice like that in my last relationship. For 4 years my ex and I got together, broke up, got back together, broke up, etc... Always the same problems. We have FINALLY managed to transition to friends. But it took being 500 miles apart for several months, dating other people and talking to each other about it, and finally just admitting out loud to each other that we're not good for each other. Which sucks, b/c I have more fun with him than anyone in the whole world! When we hang out we're the funniest people ever. *sigh* I guess he's my "best friend" soul mate.

splash · Kenneth Cole

blubirde wrote:

Here's one of my pieces of advice that I live by: stop making the same old stupid mistakes and start making new ones.

What a good piece of advice! I love the way you put it.

Thanks for the thoughts. No worries - even though he's a wonderful guy, I know that we couldn't have a healthy dating relationship for a while, so I won't get myself into that mess. I just find it confusing (and interesting) how people interact sometimes, and wanted comments about this or related situations.