STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Andrea Julia · Coach

Am I overanalyzing or is this weird?

jacL · Coach

He could be hiding something, but my guess is he has bad phone etiquette.

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

some guys are just weird about leaving messages. probably because they know girls will then play the message over and over to all their girlfriends--my one friend always does this and i've been guilty of it too. in fact, in college, my friend used to put me on three way w/o the guy knowing and i would be silent during their convo and afterward, we would analyze the heck out of the conversation...poor guy now that i think about it.

anyway, i feel you on the not picking up private calls, i don't like picking them up either although i usually do because my curiosity invariably gets the best of me.

so anyway, at this point it is way too early to determine if he's crazy or already committed so just pick up next time your phone rings.

cc · Marc Jacobs

If it is this guy, I would just assume he feels awkward about leaving a message. Lots of people get nervous about leaving voicemails and I know I would feel goofy if I were in his position "Hi....I'm the person you met at the train station....give me a call!" and then I'd have to wait and hope the person called me back. I'd much rather keep trying and wait until I actually caught the person .

Andrea Julia · Coach

quote:
Originally posted by: cc
"If it is this guy, I would just assume he feels awkward about leaving a message. Lots of people get nervous about leaving voicemails and I know I would feel goofy if I were in his position "Hi....I'm the person you met at the train station....give me a call!" and then I'd have to wait and hope the person called me back. I'd much rather keep trying and wait until I actually caught the person ."

I'm the exact opposite. I would call the guy hoping to get his voicemail so that I could leave a message and put the ball in his court to call. Then I would know if he was into it, he would call back.

I'm sure all of you are right about him just feeling weird about leaving a message. I just have a tendency to overanalyze EVERYTHING. A good skill to have at work, but a bad one to have in dating.

Thanks so much for letting me know I am overthinking things. I will make sure I answer the phone next time. My phone will be with me at all times since I did legitimately miss his first 2 calls (assuming it was him, which is more than likely).

splash · Kenneth Cole

I agree- there's a slight chance that it's a bad sign, but it's probably just bad phone etiquette/awkwardness. And in defence of having an invisible number, it's really annoying sometimes when a huge number of people have your number.. and I swear I'm not creepy!

blink · Coach

yeah, you are overanalyzing. there are tons of reasons to have a restricted number, don't assume you know his. Just ask him why he has a restricted number, if the number ends up being his. my guess is that he's not purposefully hiding something, he is just trying to catch you live on the phone, maybe he is one of those people who will readily admit they do not like answering machines....not that I understand these people, but for the first call to you, I can.

Andrea Julia · Coach

quote:
Originally posted by: lorelei
"yeah, you are overanalyzing. there are tons of reasons to have a restricted number, don't assume you know his. Just ask him why he has a restricted number, if the number ends up being his. my guess is that he's not purposefully hiding something, he is just trying to catch you live on the phone, maybe he is one of those people who will readily admit they do not like answering machines....not that I understand these people, but for the first call to you, I can."

Thanks, Lorelei. Just to clarify-the thing that had me worried is that he called 4 times without leaving a message knowing I didn't have the option of calling him back. I have nothing against people having restricted numbers. I would never even ask him why he restricts it.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

i also don't like answering my phone when i don't know who it is. how many times have you ended up talking to someone you really didn't want to talk with when that happens? it sounds as though he just feels weird about leaving you a message, not necessarily that he has something to hide. have you gotten to answer the phone yet?

i'm not sure what a restricted number is, BTW. does that mean they set it up so no one can get their number when they call?

Andrea Julia · Coach

quote:
Originally posted by: scarlett
" i'm not sure what a restricted number is, BTW. does that mean they set it up so no one can get their number when they call?"

Most of the time it means that, but sometimes people also press *67 before dialing so their number won't show up for just one specific call.

RyanJ · Coach

I think you are total overanalyzing. I NEVER leave voice mail message and my cell # usually comes up restricted. I say pick it up and if it someone you don't want to talk to tell them they have the wrong number and hang up.

-- Edited by RyanJ at 11:54, 2005-05-17

blubirde · Chanel

quote:
Originally posted by: Andrea Julia
"Most of the time it means that, but sometimes people also press *67 before dialing so their number won't show up for just one specific call."

Yep. And who doesn't do this? I do it when I don't want the person to know it's me calling, in case they don't answer and I don't want to leave a voicemail. I wouldn't call 4 times, of course, but I've been guilty of the *67 a few times myself. Ha! Maybe he's that nervous about talking to you! And in that case, it's kinda sweet.

So has he called back yet?

Andrea Julia · Coach

quote:
Originally posted by: blubirde
" Yep. And who doesn't do this? I do it when I don't want the person to know it's me calling, in case they don't answer and I don't want to leave a voicemail. I wouldn't call 4 times, of course, but I've been guilty of the *67 a few times myself. Ha! Maybe he's that nervous about talking to you! And in that case, it's kinda sweet. So has he called back yet?"

Not yet, blubirde. I have a work thing tonight and I don't think I will be able to answer the phone until I am home. I would just feel like it was rude to take a phone call.

I'm now debating whether I should answer the phone if he calls when I am at the work thing just to establish contact and tell him I will call back or if I should risk not answering the phone and him giving up on calling. Yeah, yeah, overanalyzing again.

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

pick up the phone, even at the work thing, unless it's would be totally inappropriate at that moment (like if your boss is in the middle of a sentence or something). that way, when you pick up and tell him you're at a work thing and you'll call him later, he can see you're a busy girl w/ things to do and places to be, which is always attractive.

blubirde · Chanel

quote:
Originally posted by: esquiress
"pick up the phone, even at the work thing, unless it's would be totally inappropriate at that moment (like if your boss is in the middle of a sentence or something). that way, when you pick up and tell him you're at a work thing and you'll call him later, he can see you're a busy girl w/ things to do and places to be, which is always attractive."

Oooohhh!!! Yes, this is good advice. I agree 100%.

Kel · Coach

I agree with everyone, some people just don't like leaving messages. Also about the restricted number thing, my b/f number always comes up restricted on my phone. And we can't figure out why, so it might just be something odd btwn phones.

Andrea Julia · Coach

He called last night. He asked me if I wanted to get together but we haven't picked an exact day yet. He said I should meet up with him at the restaurant he works at and just said to show up any day after 9 and we will go out from there. I kept asking him for what day would be good. I am not comfortable with just showing up anytime (he lives and works an hour away). He said he would call me again this week.