STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

XtinaStyles · Marc Jacobs

ARGH roommate rant!!! again

relrel · Marc Jacobs

If she's not paying rent, than that would seem like the way to make her move. What does your lease say? Are you three paying rent individually or somehow combining your parts into one check?

How old are you? Is it at all possible to simply live by yourself? I've been living by myself (or boyfriend or sister) since I was a junior in college. There's simply no way I would deal with the stress. I've taken the sacrifice on living in a nicer place and just sucked it up with a studio. I just don't trust anybody enough anymore not to be psycho in some way.

ETA: Just remembered that you recently got laid off. Moving really isn't an option! I have no suggestions other than splitting the rent check in three so that the landlord would have a reason for making her move. The only problem with that is that then you're stuck for her part of the rent if/when she moves out. Good luck! Roommate trouble suck, there's no getting away from them....literally!

-- Edited by relrel on Wednesday 22nd of July 2009 08:08:32 PM

wetbandit42 · Marc Jacobs

I have no advice, except to maybe echo what relrel said. If she's not paying rent, can't the LL kick her out?

I just wanted to say I feel you on your roommate stress! My horrid roommate moved out in May, and I can't tell you how happy I've been since she left. She sounds like J in that she never replaced the communal supplies, leaving me to buy all of them, among other evils. I hope you can get away from J and her drama!

Boots · Gucci

If she owes you money (for past rent that she's bounced) it's possible you could threaten her with small claims court. It might be enough of a threat to get her to move (you would have to suck it up on the money, but getting rid of that stress might be worth it.) Have you kept records of what she owes? If not, start recording now. List a description, date and amount. If you actually have to follow through on small claims court, you will need it.

I would start locking my things up too. Make it hard for her to get at the household items that you and the other roommate are paying for.

Basically, I'd try to make it as uncomfortable as I could for her. She seems to be a user and the great thing about users is that they tend to move on when the well runs dry.

It's really hard to get a tenant evicted even if they owe rent so I don't know if your landlord will be much help.

fashionista L · Coach

I work in the office of an apartment complex and I see this kind of thing all of the time. I don't know what your lease says, but in order for someone to get signed off all parties must be present and those remaining must be able to qualify on their own. Landlords do not typically kick out one roommate, they will kick out everyone on the lease. At my work, we do not get involved in roommate disputes at all, and sadly if you have a sucky roommate, it is the responsible person who lives with them who has to deal with everything usually.

My advice: like some othes said, make it so that she can no longer use you, demand money orders instead of checks for her portion of the rent and lock up your stuff, if you are not civil to her and do all ofthese things maybe she will agree to be signed off of the lease. Another idea, if she doesn't pay rent, get the locks changed. As a lease holder, she has the right to get a key from the landlord but maybe it will get the point across!

Good luck, I feel for you!!

XtinaStyles · Marc Jacobs

This is precisely right, even though 1 person is ruining it for others they can't do anything legally to 1 person because everyone is considered 1 unit if they're on the lease.

We all pay 3 separate checks and what bothers me is that my landlord yells at me when she is late, then when i confront her or call her, she says its none of my business, confronts the landlord and he backs down!!! It makes no sense.

Its not all about the money though, she usually pays within 2 months, but I am often afraid that she will stop paying anything and stick us with the rent. The tension in the air is palpable, when I have guests over they usually leave because she insists on sitting like 4 feet away from us, just staring. She also is a slob, her room is such a mess and she loves making messes around the house but never cleaning them up. One day the landlord had to come in to install her AC and she wasn't home so we let him in. She was so mad at him and went to yell at him for doing so! She's got everything twisted.

fashionista L wrote:
I work in the office of an apartment complex and I see this kind of thing all of the time. I don't know what your lease says, but in order for someone to get signed off all parties must be present and those remaining must be able to qualify on their own. Landlords do not typically kick out one roommate, they will kick out everyone on the lease. At my work, we do not get involved in roommate disputes at all, and sadly if you have a sucky roommate, it is the responsible person who lives with them who has to deal with everything usually. My advice: like some othes said, make it so that she can no longer use you, demand money orders instead of checks for her portion of the rent and lock up your stuff, if you are not civil to her and do all ofthese things maybe she will agree to be signed off of the lease. Another idea, if she doesn't pay rent, get the locks changed. As a lease holder, she has the right to get a key from the landlord but maybe it will get the point across! Good luck, I feel for you!!

relrel · Marc Jacobs

She didn't act like this in the old place, right? What happened? Is there something going on in her life that maybe she needs help with or something?

I really wish I could give better advice for this situation!

Suasoria · Chanel

I also wonder what's happened since the last time you lived together. Financial stress can make someone a monster, but is there something else going on? She has a job, so where does her money go?

Do you have contact info for her parents or any relatives? Can you tattle on her, so to speak, to alert them that she seems to be having financial troubles and ask if there's something wrong that you and your other roommate need to know about?

XtinaStyles · Marc Jacobs

A couple of things happened since we were at the last place. 1) I didn't know this but she moved to NY to be with a guy who doesn't want her... so she found that out around the time we moved to the 2nd place 2) her finances became a wreck. I recall going out socially with her ALOT at the old place. Sunday wing night, ordering food in, grabbing a drink after work, etc. 3) she gained a lot of gall! I recall her crying at the first place because the other roommate called her a bitch. At this place she called me a fat asshole with no qualms. She is not the person I once knew!

I think about $400 a month is going towards bounced check fees. She gets a postcard 1x a week with 4 bounced debits worth $35 a pop in fees.

Oh well, she seems to be looking for a 2nd job. I am not sure if I will hold out till December or maybe find something else with the other roomy.