STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Vanessa · Kate Spade

Need a sanity check

lynnie · Chanel

Hmm, I would think that the ex talking to him again is f*cking him up, BIG TIME. It would have that same effect on me, and it may have that same effect on you too. It's hard to get over an ex and all you've shared, and sometimes something new (even if it's great) is just so much scarier than going back to what you know and used to love (maybe still love.) He shouldn't have talked about her that long. If you can't shake that feeling, you are probably right. Just tell him that you feel uncomfortable with the situation and that you don't know if you can still see him. Suggest being friends- that way he can get to know more about you without feeling pressured and with guards down. He may realize you're perfect for him or you may realize he's not that great. Right now he's damaged goods. The timings probably not right and he won't be able to date again until the ex has played him again.

Lola · Dooney & Bourke

I'm not the best at giving advice...but I think you should feel him out a little longer. I don't think you should rule him out right now. He seems otherwise to be a great guy. Maybe just feel him out for a bit longer and then re-asess the situation in a little while. If you see improvements, great!

But then again, this is where I have no clue on how to give advice, because the more time you invest in him, the less inclined you will probably be to calling it off...maybe you should just trust your own instincts here and stop listening to my crappy advice :P

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

I dont' think sitting around waiting for him to confirm that he's really into you sounds like much fun. But I'm not the greatest at dating so take it for what it's worth. Could you tell him you're just going to give him some space?

luckylily · Gucci

I may be reading too much into this, but it sounds to me like he does really like you. I mean, he did ask you out again. However, it also sounds like being contacted by his ex has really rattled his cage, which I think is reasonable.

I guess if I were you I would go out with him again. If the ex-gf comes up again, you could give him an out. Like say, "Hey, it seems that being contacted by your ex has shaken you up a bit, maybe you need some space for a while."

However, if after a couple dates you just aren't feeling it, or feel like you are competing with the ex, let him go. Relationships are hard enough when there are only two people invovled, it sucks to have an ex lingering.

{{{hugs}}}

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

first of all, you're a smart gorgeous girl and i am 100% positive the ex couldn't hold a candle to you. she sounds like a basketcase whereas you are the real deal. he's lucky to even have to opportunity to get to know you!

the real question is do you like him? if so give him the benefit of the doubt for now (though you're right, i don't like all that ex talk either) and go out w/ him again. however, if you don't really like him all that much and are just dating him for dating's sake (i've been guilty of this many times) and are kinda talking yourself into liking him, i wouldn't bother putting anymore effort into the situation, chances are his ex-monologue left too bad of a taste in your mouth if you weren't that into him to begin w/.

also, he probably picked up on your distant vibe and is likely waiting for a signal from you so imo, the ball's in your court.

Collette · Chanel

Vanessa, First of all congratualtions on getting back out there! Ok my advice, date him a bit but also keep your options open. ie don't put all your eggs in one basket. If anything I'd give him at least one more date and if he continues to talk about his ex I'd move on.

On the topic of her being a VS model remember this advice "no matter how beautiful she is someone is tired of putting up with her bullshit"

bumblebee · Dooney & Bourke

i agree with what luckyliky and esquiress said. and also, just my 2 cents, but i've found that often when men mention how beautiful and talented their exes are, especially if they are famous, it usually has nothing to do with you or the ex, but reflects the guy's own insecurity. it's a way for a man to puff himself up and show you that he's really worth dating because, after all, models and actresses have dated him! i don't think that men really realize that this type of thing often has the opposite of the desired effect.

Vanessa · Kate Spade

edited n/m

-- Edited by Vanessa at 18:59, 2005-04-29

blubirde · Chanel

quote:
Originally posted by: Vanessa
"Later in conversation he found out why I couldn't go out Friday and I could tell he didn't know whether to laugh or be mortified (as in, "I changed my OR shift for your hair appt?"). Well, yes actually. It's not like I asked him to, he offered. So I guess he gets a couple of points for that."

hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! that's so hilarious! Definitely keep that in your compliment box when some other guy acts a fool. A guy, who "dates models," changed his OR schedule around to see you, all because you had a hair appointment. I think I'm going to laugh about that all day long. Thanks for the chuckle!

I think you got it right with your one more date attitude. If it'll work, great. If not, you'll know it right away. Keep us posted!

Vanessa · Kate Spade

edited n/m

-- Edited by Vanessa at 18:59, 2005-04-29

Farrah · Marc Jacobs

Okay, I am coming in late, but who in the H is this doctor man?! Where did you meet him? I saw you less than a month ago and there was no talk of the mystery doc. You must email me with details!