STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Kitty · Hermes

Dealing with people that think they are morally superior.

blink · Coach

Ah yes! I do have a technique...not that I think it always gets through to people who are already so stuck up in their own identity, but maybe it will get your point across...

On numerous occasions, I have said, "Well, my favorite of the seven heavenly virtues is humility!" Because we can all do our best to be morally right and encourage others to do so too, but at the end of the day, anyone who is intentionally making another person feel morally inferior is behaving immorally themselves.

Good luck!

Metric · Gucci

My brother and his wife think they are morally superior to me (and pretty much everyone). It is extremely annoying, I totally understand where you are coming from.

I wish I knew how to handle it better but honestly, my tactic is to avoid them as much as possible and try to tell them as little about my life as possible. It sucks but I have no idea how to deal with people like this. Nothing I ever do is right or good enough or whatever so I just mentally check out. I'm practically deaf/mute when I have to see them.

Sorry I can't help you more but I do understand.

Suasoria · Chanel

"I have to have SOME vices, otherwise I'd be perfect, and that's so boring."

stardust · Kenneth Cole

Kitty- I could have written your exact post at the moment because I have a person in my life doing the very same thing. It just depresses me - I always end up feeling quite bad about myself so I have realised that I am actually taking what they say on board. Maybe because they seem so adamant that they really are morally better. Anyway - yep drives me NUTS too. I've just been trying to avoid being around this person but I'd love to hear other suggestions especially now I've realised that I am basically letting them tell me I'm shallow or inferior.

The only thing I have noticed is that these people seem to do it to everyone - I guess that's how they get through the day but it is so annoying!!

Kitty · Hermes

I really think the girl I know purposefully asks questions and/or brings up topics hoping people will say something that she can get holier-than-thou.

I usually argue with her a bit each time these things come up and then just feel highly irritated with her. She's so stubborn and set in her ways, so I don't even know why I bother.

cahabo · Kate Spade

My mother! She pretty much reminds me and everyone else on a daily basis that she is "Christ Like" unlike the rest of us. Her views are so old fashioned it's ridiculous. I think she just needs to respect other people whether they have the same morals or not. Funny how she thinks she is so holy but is constantly putting others down.

All I can do is just ignore her!

Kelly · Hermes

Maybe this is terribly grade-school of me, but usually when I deal with people like that, I just start making even more outlandish/"immoral" statements just to get under their skin and also kind of say "I don't give a damn what you think"

That said, if it's someone in my family I'll just clam up and avoid a conversation.

Hermes

Kitty wrote:

I really think the girl I know purposefully asks questions and/or brings up topics hoping people will say something that she can get holier-than-thou.

I usually argue with her a bit each time these things come up and then just feel highly irritated with her. She's so stubborn and set in her ways, so I don't even know why I bother.

me, I just don't take the bait. in most cases, people like this are seeking a reaction. I don't give them what they want. Ignoring them or brushing them off gets under their skin a whole lot more than any clever quip IMO...

or like ttara, I have been known to use the phrase, "I'm sorry, but you have mistaken me for someone who cares about your opinion" but that's not always well received

-- Edited by D at 16:49, 2009-01-16

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

If she's telling you what to do, unasked, then I think you're perfecty within your rights to say something like, "Are you telling me what to do? Unasked?" Sometimes if you just send it back to the person, as a question, it helps a lot. What is she supposed to say, "Yes, I know what's best for you..." And if she tries to rationalize, then just repeat, "You know what's best for me?" Keep going like that, without getting angry, and you won't have a confrontation, but she won't get the satisfaction of making you squirm. Good luck :)