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katya


BCBG

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un-typical engagement?....
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Hi, everyone! Okay, so I've been with my sweetie for 4+ years now (we're both 24). A while ago, he told me that he wanted to ask me to marry him, but he simply can't afford a ring. I'm from a slightly $$$ background (he's not), and he thinks that any ring he might be able to afford wouldn't be nice enough (not true - he's just nervous). He tried to get his grandmother's ring for me, but one of his cousins had it, so he couldn't use it. So, we were talking the other night, and he asked what I would think of getting a tattoo together as a symbol of our engagement (and in the future- before our wedding- get a real ring). I think it's a great idea. First, let me say that I've wanted a tat since I was 16, but I am so picky about something that would be on me forever, I still don't have one. I have been waiting until I found one that I absolutely love or a good reason for getting one (name of my kids or something). I think this is the perfect reason for me to get one. We're going to get each others first initials on our ring fingers. I know I shouldn't worry about this, but I am a little nervous about how my family & co-workers are going to react (my fam LOVES him, I just don't think they'd love the tat idea). I just don't think people are going to understand that, while a big ol' rock would be fabulous, I honestly don't need that. I guess I'm just nervous of all the critical questions I'm going to have to deal with, like "he can't afford a ring now, how will he provide for you in the future" and things like that. My parents raised me to be independent and provide for myself, and I would never let $ stop me from being with someone I love. Anyone have any advice for what to say to the criticism I may get b/c of our un-typical engagement? Any opinions on an engagement "ring" like this? TIA!

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D


Hermes

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I like what is behind your thinking - a truly permanent marriage. But what sounds good at age 24 may not sound so good at age 34, and so on.  You may regret the permanency of marking your body (especially in such a conspicuous location) down the road for a multitude of reasons. There are many beautiful precious metal bands out there (gold, platinum, titanium, etc.) that can be very attractive and not cost much money. If down the road it is more affordable, you and he may want to get you a diamond ring to stack with it.

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"Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess." ~ Edna Woolman Chase
Elle


Hermes

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I think getting a tatoo engagement ring is awesome!  What a fab idea!  If you are okay with it, they go for it - this is definitely something that you and your SO should decide for yourselves.  My only concern would be if you get your tat on your ring finger, how would an actual ring look over top of it?

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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment ~ {Ralph Waldo Emerson}
D


Hermes

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another idea... if your choices are limited to either a tat or a sparkler, why not consider a CZ set in solid gold? If you wanted to, you could always have a real diamond set in it later. The quality of CZs is so good right now - I have one set in gold I wear when I'm traveling to risky places - no one is any the wiser.  You can find them set in gold at TJ Maxx even - that's where I bought mine. If the ring is not so important, a CZ and/or simple band should work.  If you're concerned about a CZ possibly not looking real, don't get too huge of one - and if anyone asks how you were able to afford it, just tell them your SO saved up for it - they don't need to know. If anyone asks "is it real?" tell them yes (while thinking, yes, it's a real ring - it is not a figment of your imagination).


or get a small diamond and replace it with a larger one later. there's tons of options vs. a tat.


another option is ebay - I have bought vintage diamond rings for as little as $25 - so if you're good on ebay, you can find some real steals.


 



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"Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess." ~ Edna Woolman Chase
katya


BCBG

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Thanks for the responses! I am a bit concerned about a tat on my finger (will it get fuzzy, look odd under a ring in the future, etc...). I want to get it somewhere where I can show people without having to undress (my a#@ is out of the question I guess...)! Maybe on the back of my finger, not the front? I never thought to look on ebay for vintage rings (I love older rings). My boy and I are moving to Seattle this summer (after I graduate) and have been saving our $ for the move. I just feel it would be silly to spend the small amount of $ we've saved on a ring; it would be smarter to get the one I love when we can afford it. He works so hard (he's an artist but his real job is a [labor] painter) but isn't able to save much after all the bills. Besides, I really like the idea of the tattoo!! I guess I've decided to do it, now I just need to choose where to get it. Thanks again for your advice!!

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Mia


Kate Spade

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Katya - I think it's an awesome idea as well...I actually think there's something very romantic about a gesture that won't be popular with other people (necessarily) but that symbolizes something personal/permanent for the couple. When I read your first post I thought how about having it done on the underside/inside of your finger so it's not visible too easily? It would be fine putting a ring over top of it then, at a later date...


 


Good luck!



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"Don't be cool. Cool is conservative fear dressed in black. Don't limit yourself in this way." - Bruce Mau
Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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If you're happy, I'm happy for you.

-- Edited by Dizzy at 16:04, 2005-02-08

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luckylily


Gucci

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I don't have a comment on the idea itself, but I suggest you have a serious discussion with an experienced tattoo artist about the idea.  I have several tattoos, and it is my understanding that the hands in general aren't a good place for tattoos.  The skin on your hands sloughs off a lot faster than the skin on the rest of your body and is also exposed to direct sunlight a lot more than other areas.  Tattoos on hands fade a lot faster than tattoos on other parts of the body.


Most of the tattoo artists I know don't do tattoos on the palms and inside the fist, they are also hesitant to do them on the back of the hand.


So...find a experiences tattoo artist and do some research on them.  Be sure to ask specific questions about how often you would have to have the tattoo touched up.  Also, doing small detail work w/ fine lines can be challenging (I'm sure you've seen tattoos that look smudged), so make sure they can show you some examples of work similar to what you are looking for.


Just a comment...I don't have a *real* engagement ring and I don't really get any comments about it.  It was my choice.  I love big, funky rings and I didn't want to be tied to wearing a diamond every day.  My friends and family really get that I didn't need a rock and a traditional engagement ring isn't my style at all.  My husband did get me a lovely saphire engagment ring, which he used to propose and I wear a few times a month, but he only spent a few hundred $$ on it.


 


 



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blink


Coach

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Didn't Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee do tattoo wedding bands?  I like the idea by the way.

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"Go either very cheap or very expensive. It's the middle ground that is fashion nowhere." ~ Karl Lagerfeld
bumblebee


Dooney & Bourke

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yeah, they did.  and now that they are divorced, pam got hers changed from "tommy" to "mommy" (which i think is so much cuter!). 

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