STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Hermes

I need to vent...

FashionPrincess · Hermes

(((Big hugs!!!))) I don't know what to say, except I hope all the work stuff gets cleared up. I know you work hard and hopefully your clients realize that too! Hang in there!

And regarding ST, I agree the forum seems really slow but I certainly don't think (and would hope not) that it is in anyway because anyone is mad at you. Maybe it's just because it's summer time and people are busy. And lots of people are going thru life changes, I know I don't have the time to post on here like I use to but I still enjoying doing so when I can. Hopefully things will pick up. Just keep your chin up!!!

Vanessa · Kate Spade

D, I am sorry that you are going through all this stress. I don't know what else to say other than when crappy things happen at my work that are out of my control, I try to view them as lessons in patience and tolerance for me :)

I know I'm not around here much but being in tech, I know how hard it is to even maintain a forum. I appreciate you for all the work you do. I have been crazy busy at work but I am trying to come around as often as I can. I miss the girl time!

HUGS!!!

KaffeeKlatsch · Marc Jacobs

Awww...sending big hugs your way!!!
And there's no bad feelings from me....I've just been on less often cause there's a new guy in my life I guess...bad excuse yes...but I also never really feel like I have to much to add anyway.

BargainQueen · Marc Jacobs

I'm sorry D for everything going on at work. I've also dealt with issues beyond my control at work that I have to face up for because I'm the region's manager. It sucks for sure, stay strong!

I agree that there hasn't been a lot of traffic, I don't think it's anything you did. A lot of people's lives are changing and it takes some people time to adjust and get back into the flow of things. I know I felt like that after I had a baby and came back to work. I'm still juggling school and I'm completing the harder courses now, so its not that easy to slide by anymore. However I still check the site almost daily.

Sometimes I feel like maybe my style doesn't fit in and wont get any responses if I post. However I definetely appreciate the fact that I can vent here when something is really out of wack in my relationships. That has not changed for me.

Hermes

Thanks for the hugs and reassurance. I tend to internalize EVERYTHING - bad habit. I know people are busy and the forum slows in the summer, but not usually this much.

I'm just so overwhelmed and sad.

I'm going to go have some drinks.

Thanks for your support.

Kitty · Hermes

Holy crap that is a lot to be dealing with. I can only imagine the stress! I hope everything starts to look up soon.

As for me I'm still posting like crazy :)

NCshopper · Hermes

Good lord, that is a lot to deal with, D. I'm really sorry things aren't working out better for you at work. That really sucks.

As far as ST goes, I really don't think you've done anything to piss people off. I can't imagine that that's the case. 1) I don't recall you saying or doing anything controversial or unpopular and 2) I feel like a lot of the regular posters around here aren't the type to get all upset and just leave in a huff. Some of the regular posters that have been around for a long time who we don't see as much anymore are just not the type (IMO) that would be mad and leave without saying anything. We've always been a pretty outspoken bunch and so if you did something, I think you'd hear about it one way or another. That's just my two cents.

Also, for what it's worth, yes, people's lives change and priorities shift and that may explain some of the decline in traffic. But I also think that the economy probably has a lot to do with it. I think a lot of people feel hesitant to shop and the ones that still are shopping hard core may feel awkward about sharing what they're purchasing because it might look like they're flaunting.

The other thing that comes to mind that might be part of the traffic issue is that technology has changed dramatically in the past few years since ST was started. I know a lot of us who know each other through ST have also connected via myspace, facebook, and blogs and so people that would otherwise use the forum to connect are finding other ways to do so. I'm not sure what can be done about that to drive traffic back to ST, but I don't really know much about what kinds of options are out there. I tend to be the last on any sort of techie bandwagon.

Anyway, those are my thoughts about what might be going on here. I think there are lots of factors at play, so I really don't think you've done or said anything. (If you did, I completely missed it.

) I, for one, still love ST and find it a great resource and a great place to chat with similar-minded people, even if I post a bit less frequently than I did when I was at my former soul-sucking job when I had tons of free time. Keep up the good work and if there's anything I can do to help, feel free to PM me.

blink · Coach

The other thing that comes to mind that might be part of the traffic issue is that technology has changed dramatically in the past few years since ST was started. I know a lot of us who know each other through ST have also connected via myspace, facebook, and blogs and so people that would otherwise use the forum to connect are finding other ways to do so. I'm not sure what can be done about that to drive traffic back to ST, but I don't really know much about what kinds of options are out there. I tend to be the last on any sort of techie bandwagon.

This is exactly what my first thought was, so many people in my age range (I am 32) are suddenly catching up with gen Y and are on myspace or facebook or their blog all the time. This was NOT the case 4 years ago, when I first signed up on myspace in 2004, NONE of my friends were on it until around 2006, it went virtually unused for 2 years!

I also agree that the economy might be a factor. Plus, gosh, how many of us who date back to FH days and debates over the attraction to Uggs are now stay-at-home mothers who aren't dressing up a lot? I still check the forum, but I definitely post less since having kids. I shop less too, if for no other reason than less free time. I am sure I am not in the minority, but I am not going anywhere either. This site completely helps me stay fashionably hip, even if I don't actually post about my own attire that often. Maybe the question is how to attract new posters? The idea of adding features similar to stylehive is appealing.

As for all the other mountain of stress on your shoulders, I'll tip my wine glass to you, you have certainly been tested lately, girlfriend! It's going to be okay, try to go easy on yourself for stuff beyond your control, pamper yourself, get rest and stay healthy.

ETA: somehow I deleted the author of the quote above, from NCShopper, sorry!

-- Edited by blink at 23:43, 2008-06-19

blubirde · Chanel

Oh man, D, work shit sucks. I have no advice except to say keep plugging away and hopefully the clients will see your dedication to them and their account, something the couldn't get elsewhere.

As for ST, I agree the posting is slower but it for sure has nothing to do with you. The draw of ST has always been the posts and the other forum users. You haven't hurt any of those things! (I don't think you've slacked on anything but I know you always have ideas for bigger and better. To be honest, only you would know if that hasn't gone as you'd anticipated. The rest of us are happy little piggies, posting away, not knowing what goes on behind the curtain.

)

Maybe it's slower because of the economy? I can't afford to buy anything, well, except for a new car, so I don't have any fashion stuff to post. And I try to avoid looking at things I might want on the shopping portion as well, given that I have no self control and a cc very close at hand.

Maybe you could start a post to get user ideas on how to generate traffic and/or get old users back to the fold?

But seriously, don't stress. You're the best moderator/forum owner evah!

rosie_the_riveter · Gucci

Aww D, I'm sorry to hear of all the bad shit going on right now. I hope things start to get better soon.

As for ST - you didn't do anything to offend. I think the other girls have it right on about people being busy with life right now. That on top of the economy being so horrible. I can't remember the last time I bought soething that wasn't food, gas, or baby related. That being said, I missed you guys and am trying to visit the site more often, as long as Mimi-Poo is taking a nap or decides that her hand is entertainment enough. [Big hugs]

TheLovelyLady71 · Hermes

Sorry to hear all of this is happening D. And in no way, form, or fashion am I even close to being mad or upset w/you. You've done nothing to me, have always been very helpful to me. I'm just going thru a LOT myself right, and haven't been posting like I use to. I do stop by more often than not. I will DEF do better, I miss my on-line girlfriends. :)

JoceyBaby23 · Gucci

I don't post much anymore but I felt compelled to respond to this one.

D - No one is upset with you and I hope things get better for you soon.

From someone that used to be *OBSESSED* with ST, it was a hard blow about a year back when my work blocked their employees from viewing myspace and all blogs and forums. Work was "my" time to read up on posts and chit chat with the girls. The last thing I want to do when I get home from a long day is get back on the computer and stare at it for another hour.

I have noticed that traffic has severly slowed down... so lately I only check the new posts once or twice a week. When there is nothing new to read and I don't have much to contribute, it's silly for me to log in.

I think a huge part of it is the fact that we all kinda "grew up" together first the lucky forum, then FH and lately ST. There are soo many girls with stressful careers now, new marriages, new babies, travel etc etc that us "old regulars" don't have the time to post or visit as much as we used to when we were still in college or had easy-going jobs.

I don't really remember the last new poster I saw on ST. I think a little advertising could go a long way and I think newer, younger posters is the way to liven this place up a little! Just my 2 cents!

kenzie · Chanel

Aw, D, I'm sorry you're having such a bad time at work on top of all the other crap you've been through.

And I agree that the lower ST traffic probably has to do with a combination of people's lives shifting, summer and technology changing. I still love ST even though I don't post as much. I'm just busy with grad school, freelancing and jewelry design. There's tons of stuff you could do to generate more traffic and to catch up with technology, but I think you already know that and are probably working toward that with the updates you've hinted about. A few suggestions from me- adding even more features/interactivity with profiles, articles, shopping (selling? I think you mentioned that one before...), stylediary type pages, rss feeds, daily scoops, etc. Of course, all of that is a lot of work, but I'm definitely willing to help!

Anyway, I really don't think it's anything you've done. I don't even see how it could be. You've been a great moderator and keeper of this site, especially considering the things that have been going on in your life recently.

fashionista L · Coach

It is completely understandable that you feel like everythIng is falling apart around you. Sounds like the stress is being piled on. I know that this is cliched advice but I always try to think about it when I am in a bad situation. Don't worry about the things that you cannot change. Change what you can. I also find it helpful to write lists categorizing ideas and solutions to problems I have. As far as Punch #7, I will admit I have not posted as much as I have in the past but it's not for a specific reason, I am just really busy and hardly find the time to get on anymore. It is definitely no fault of yours but outside things in my own life. I am thinking about you and I really appreciated when you sent me an email when I had not been on in a while. Just know we are there for you!!

ILoveChoo · Hermes

(((hugs))) I'm sorry you have to deal with all of that, D.

I still read the forum a lot when I can, but I just don't have much to post. I don't have a ton of money to spend on shopping and even when I do feel like shopping I feel like I cant find much that I like.I've also gotten a few promotions and just can't get on at work anymore. By the time I come to the site at night, I'm too tired to participate very much.

Hermes

I in no way intended to put anyone on the spot about posting. I was simply bringing up that I felt some funky vibes from people on the board and I have no idea what I could have done to piss people off. With all the stress I've been under, who knows what I could have done.

In regard to whether the site attracts the right audience, and what that strategy is, is all laid out - it's a matter of building it. Which serves as a perfect segue to how my work problems impact our progress on a new ST. The vendor that royally fucked up is the same one I've partnered with for ST... The chain of events was not his personal fault, it was an employee of his, but it still makes me nervous about the new forum and subsequent site. We were going to repurpose the Children's Hospital forum code, but as you now know, we definitely don't want to do that -- at least not in its existing version. There is a new version with better security (these spambots are freaking out of control - I do not want us to deal with this!) I think what I'd like to do is put up a test forum in the new code for you all to poke around in. Until we figure out how the forum will be set up, we can't continue with building the rest of the site.

Collette · Chanel

D I'm so sorry you're so stressed out right now. I'm with you on the internalizing thing. I do the same thing and my shrink always says, the worst conversations are those we have in our own head. I tend to believe that. I've had those moments on the forums too where I'll start a post and see very few if any people responding and I think the same thoughts you've had. People are mad at me blablabla. It's all just nonsense I know but......
anyway there I go making it about me! lol
Anywho self affirmation for D you're good enough, you're smart enough and gosh darn it people like you!!!!

Hermes

Collette wrote:

D I'm so sorry you're so stressed out right now. I'm with you on the internalizing thing. I do the same thing and my shrink always says, the worst conversations are those we have in our own head. I tend to believe that. I've had those moments on the forums too where I'll start a post and see very few if any people responding and I think the same thoughts you've had. People are mad at me blablabla. It's all just nonsense I know but......
anyway there I go making it about me! lol
Anywho self affirmation for D you're good enough, you're smart enough and gosh darn it people like you!!!!

lol - thanks! smile

HeatherLynn · Gucci

I'm sorry you going through all that! I hate how the saying "when it rains it pours" is always way too true. Also, like the other girls said, I don't think anyone is mad at you. Let me know if you need anything or just want to vent!!