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blubirde


Chanel

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So bummed!
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So I date all the time, right? I have tons of guy friends and guy "friends." But I hardly ever like anybody I date. I mean, I like them well enough but I don't have strong feelings for them. Which is totally fine with me because I don't want any kind of serious relationship or anything like that right now. If someone called me his girlfriend, I'd freak. So that's me.


But, there was this one guy. Just one. He was completely not my type and I would normally never even go out with a guy like this. He's not especially cute, although he's not ugly. There's nothing remarkable about him. He doesn't go out and party or drink (at all) and he's not all that exciting. But he soothed me. I don't know what it was about him. Whenever I was around him I got so peaceful and calm and all I could think about was what it would be like to kiss him. (Wow - this is really personal!)


So I told him I liked him. I thought he liked me, too, but turns out not as much as he likes another girl. He told me he doesn't feel comfortable dating two people at once and although he's really attracted to me and excited by me (his words, not mine - i would never be so cheesy), he feels like he needs to give her a chance because she was in the picture first.


Bleh. Now I'm bummed. The thing is, though, it would never have worked out between us because we are too, too different. And I firmly believe in dating as many people as you want and not being exclusive with one person. And he didn't even drink wine! What can I do with that?


So if I know it wouldn't have worked, why am I sad? Maybe it's the rejection. Or maybe the lost opportunity (I hate those).


I'm really tempted to go out with him as friends and make a move on him anyway, even though he told me all that stuff, but I know that could be potentially disastrous.


Help me control my impulses and figure out how to not be bummed anymore! (I'm not used to actually caring if I see a guy again or not...)



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Maddie


Coach

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I was in a really similar situation, except I ended up kinda dating him in the end.  Take comfort in my experience, it was a disaster!  I normally like funny, confident guys.  This guy was very nice, a little too so.  Into Eastern religions, climbing, books, nature, being introspective.  I'm into being crazy.  He had a 25 year old girlfriend at the time (he was 18).  In the end he broke up with his girlfriend (not because of me) and we ended up kind of getting together.  It didn't work at all.  We didn't have conversations, we listened to each other talk.  I think we were both kind of interested in each other cause we're so different, but it really wore off.  And he totally smothered me.  He's a cool guy and we're still friends, but it was a mistake.  That "giving her a chance because she was in the picture first" is such bullshit and totally something my guy would do.  It sucks to be rejected, but it's probably for the best!



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Lola


Dooney & Bourke

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He sounds like such a nice, sweet and innocent guy! Honesty? Being up front about the other girl? No games? Wha? Huh? Sounds good too good to be true! Lol! Just keep saying to yourself what you just told us and I'm sure you'll get through it! :)  ((HUGS))


"The thing is, though, it would never have worked out between us because we are too, too different."


 



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blubirde


Chanel

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quote:
Originally posted by: Lola
"He sounds like such a nice, sweet and innocent guy! Honesty? Being up front about the other girl? No games? Wha? Huh? Sounds good too good to be true! Lol! Just keep saying to yourself what you just told us and I'm sure you'll get through it! :)  ((HUGS)) "The thing is, though, it would never have worked out between us because we are too, too different."  "
I know, right!  I would have totally corrupted him, so it's better in the end but the inbetween sucks ass!

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lynnie


Chanel

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A similar thing happened with me, except that I started to really really like the guy, and he liked me at first, but after I previously rejected him (was unsure if he was my type), he moved on.  But I liked him soo much once he started seeing another girl (I already kinda knew all along that I did), that I told him how I felt.  I just couldn't NOT say something.  At first he wanted to stay with the other girl out of loyalty, but then he changed his mind.  Don't dwell on it- start to date other people and see what happens.  Maybe he'll do what I did.  Chemistry always wins out if the guy isn't a pussy about it.  That was about 2 years ago, and I still think he is the cutest, funniest, smartest guy ever.

-- Edited by lynnie at 19:31, 2005-01-11

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Ally S


Kate Spade

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Posts: 1231
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He sounds like someone special! Don't make a play for him or try anything, except his friendship for what it's worth. Let him take a shot with the other girl and if it doesn't work out with her, who knows with you.


Either way, he sounds like a great guy to have for a friend. Sometimes the one you are attracted to ends up being the exact opposite of what you thought is the *type*you belong with.


I also believe all really good relationships begin as a friendship.


Good Luck.



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~Ally~
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