STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Lilykind · Hermes

Yesterday a guy crashed into my umbrella and...

Andrea Julia · Coach

I would say that when I told my boyfriend we were hanging out, he got upset. He may say something like he just wants to be a friend, he's not trying to date you, but just stick with that story and act like you are a little scared of your boyfriend if you have to.

If you go for coffee with him, you are just going to end up back in the same situation when he wants to hang out again.

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

i think that if you met him for coffee or even picked up when he called he'd take it as a sign of interest. since you don't seem interested i'm kinda wondering why you even gave him your number?

Lilykind · Hermes

quote:
Originally posted by: esquiress
"i think that if you met him for coffee or even picked up when he called he'd take it as a sign of interest. since you don't seem interested i'm kinda wondering why you even gave him your number?"

Because I'm stupid and don't think sometimes. I had meant to mess up my number (change a few digits) which is what I usually do but gave the paper to him already

Karina · Chanel

I would just cut him off and tell him Thanks, But no Thanks when he calls and make sure you tell him you have a BF so he doesn't call anymore.

bumblebee · Dooney & Bourke

how weird to kiss someone on the neck--maybe he couldn't reach your cheek!

i don't think you should go to coffee with him--he is going to get the wrong idea about it and then it will be that much harder to brush him off in the future. if it were me, i would just dodge his calls or make up excuses why i couldn't hang out. but if you are more mature than me, maybe you could just say something like "i enjoyed meeting you, but i don't want you to get the wrong idea about me and it seems like maybe you did--i have a really serious b-f whom i live with and i am not really interested in meeting new men who are interested in me romantically."

Ally S · Kate Spade

Be blunt and get rid of him!

Who kisses someone on the neck after a simple, polite small talk conversation? To me that is invading your personal space. If and when he does call does your phone/cell have the ability to block calls? If so then block him when you get his number.

And if anyone ever asks for your number again and you have no intentions of giving out the real number, then tell them you'll take THEIR number and call them back...of course you don't.

Just be careful, not to be scary but the world is filled with wacko's.

honey · Gucci

this might not be the best advice, but i would just not pick up the call. (i'm assuming you gave him your cell phone, and you have caller id) i know that this isn't the most mature way to handle it, but it sounds like this guy is desperate for some kind of attention, and that getting into any kind of conversation with him, even if it's just to explain that you don't want to hang out with him, is just going to fan his flame. hope it works out.

jess · Kenneth Cole

I totally agree w/ Ally S. I mean, why did he think that he could actually just kiss YOUR NECK. Damn, at the most kiss your hand in that ol'gent type fashion-- but your neck!! Thats not cool.

I do understand how you gave him the right # though. I do that all the time on accident, just b/c Im not thinking- i dont know how this happens, but I understand it completely. I used to do that, "Umm, no- but I'll take your number," but then I got tired of attempting to explain why (b/c I would get asked) so it's just been easier to give a fake number. Or I guess harder, b/c I somehow don't give a fake number....

Or, you could just ignore the call. Eventually they get the hint.

lsubatgirl · Gucci

RE: Yesterday a guy crashed into my umbrella and..

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

RE: Yesterday a guy crashed into my umbrella and...

Andrea Julia · Coach

quote:
Originally posted by: Lilykind
""

I've done this before, too!

ETA: I don't know why Lilykind's quote isn't posting, but I am replying to where she said she meant to mess up a few digits and ended up giving him the correct number.

-- Edited by Andrea Julia at 14:53, 2005-01-11

RyanJ · Coach

quote:
Originally posted by: esquiress
"since you don't seem interested i'm kinda wondering why you even gave him your number?"

i have done that before too. I get nervous and end up writing the correct number down- don't feel bad. I would agree with the others that said just not to talk to him. I think picking up the phone will only encourage him.

Mia · Kate Spade

Lilykind, this sucks. You tried to be nice and human (and got a little flustered and did something you regret - giving him the #) but this guy has 'desperate' written all over him. The neck kissing thing was NOT appropriate - if you go and have coffee with him or something he's almost certainly going to try to do more than that. Definitely avoid him - in fact I don't even feel the need to tell you to be nice and/or polite about because - the neck kissing - that's just not right and it's an invasion and he was taking advantage of your friendliness - deliberately misinterpreting it -and I HATE men who do that. Avoid at all costs is my 2 cents!

Lilykind · Hermes

He left a creepy message earlier saying "oh it's so nice to hear your voice again blah blah blah". I didn't respond and probably won't. My guess is that he'll stop eventually although I am kicking myself in the ass for giving him my real number.

Thanks girls for all your advice!

cc · Marc Jacobs

RE: RE: Yesterday a guy crashed into my umbrella a

Drew · Gucci

RE: Yesterday a guy crashed into my umbrella and...

Andrea Julia · Coach

quote:
Originally posted by: Lilykind
"He left a creepy message earlier saying "oh it's so nice to hear your voice again blah blah blah". I didn't respond and probably won't. My guess is that he'll stop eventually although I am kicking myself in the ass for giving him my real number. Thanks girls for all your advice! "

Hey, Lilykind. Hopefully this method will work out for you, but in my experience it is always best to give a specific reason and make it clear you will no longer be talking to him when dealing with someone creepy like this. Often, a guy who is creepy will just think he will try calling again until you pick up. Many times, I have had a guy call 5+ times with no response from me. One of them even showed up at my job after I hadn't returned his calls.

I think you shouldn't call him back right now, but if he calls again, you should talk to him or have your boyfriend answer the phone. Just so there is no ambiguity that you don't want to talk to him.

exsupahero · Kate Spade

quote:
Originally posted by: Lilykind
"And after I gave him a handshake, I said "it's been nice to meet you" and he says the same and GIVES ME A KISS ON THE NECK. "

That part is so funny. That guy is such a creep! I think he intentionally ran into your umbrella... What a risky way of meeting someone.

-- Edited by exsupahero at 05:44, 2005-01-13

bean · Kenneth Cole

quote:
Originally posted by: Lilykind

Because I'm stupid and don't think sometimes. I had meant to mess up my number (change a few digits) which is what I usually do but gave the paper to him already

Lilykind... you're so cute. I remember when I was so young & stupid! j/k

can you screen your calls? if you can, you should just not pick up when he calls. he'll get the message. my god, that kiss on the neck... he sounds really creepy and kinda sad.

if you do accidentally pick up when he calls, just be straight with him and say something like, 'look, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have given you my number. I wasn't really thinking. I have a boyfriend who I love and it wouldn't be right of me to meet up with another guy. So take care." very polite but to the point. you have to be to the point with guys.