STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Andrea Julia · Coach

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Lola · Dooney & Bourke

RE: Unwanted present dilemma

Andrea Julia · Coach

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-- Edited by Andrea Julia at 23:46, 2006-01-28

asf · Kate Spade

i say just give it to your mom. i mean, you know she wants it, and is it really worth the trouble (and possibly hurting her feelings) to make her buy it from you or having you return it?

Elle · Hermes

Just take it back and don't tell her about it - hopefully they will give you back full price. Later if your mom asks about it, just tell her you returned the stuff and/or exchanged it for something else that was more your style. It is your gift and your right to do whatever you wish with it - shame on her for being an 'indian giver'!

Lola · Dooney & Bourke

If I were to do my evil little plan, I would just totally ignore her comments of asking back a present she gave to you and retailate her rudeness by in turn calling it worthless crap...pretty insulting...but it is also pretty rude to do what she did, even if it wasn't as well thought out/planned as the retaliation...

quote:
Originally posted by: asf
"i say just give it to your mom. i mean, you know she wants it, and is it really worth the trouble (and possibly hurting her feelings) to make her buy it from you or having you return it? "

but on second thought, I think this is definately better, sound advice than what I gave... ;)

Karina · Chanel

i would give it to her and treat yourself to something nice.

Ally S · Kate Spade

You should just give the pieces to her. Tell her they were not your thing... Don't let her feel bad or feel she did the wrong thing. She probably thought you did not like Kohl's items LAST year instead of historically.

Just write it off as one of those bum holiday gifts and let it go. Save your family peace.

Farrah · Marc Jacobs

That is a tough one for sure. Just give her the jewelry and be done with it. You only have one mom and hurting her feelings is not worth any jewelry...except maybe a Tiffany diamond.

In the defense of Kohl's though, they do have great socks and they are always on sale. Oh, and my bf bought his towels and bedding there when he got his new condo and they are really nice. The sheets are 400 thread count Egyptian cotton and the towels are really nice and fluffy. He was really shocked because he spent half on them as he spent on his Polo and sheets and towels and they were complete garbage. Next year tell her if she has to get you something from there you only want socks and sheets;).

Andrea Julia · Coach

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-- Edited by Andrea Julia at 23:47, 2006-01-28

JoceyBaby23 · Gucci

I have to agree with Leah on this one. She is your mom so love her regardless, but that doesnt mean it is okay for her to be an indian giver.

halleybird · Hermes

HA HA...I hate Kohls. I went there the day after Christmas to buy my new pillow (they do have some nice home stuff, as Farrah mentioned), and I swear I won't go back.

Maybe you could just save the jewelry and give it to her as part of her next birthday present?

carmenb513 · Coach

I say go with LOLA'S idea!She has me laughing my ass off!BTW it sounds like when she shops for you, she buys things she'd rather have just so you will give them to het and she won't feel guilty for NOT buying you presents. Side note: Kohl's does suck.......a big fat one!

tri_sarah_tops · Marc Jacobs

quote:
Originally posted by: halleybird
"HA HA...I hate Kohls. I went there the day after Christmas to buy my new pillow (they do have some nice home stuff, as Farrah mentioned), and I swear I won't go back. Maybe you could just save the jewelry and give it to her as part of her next birthday present?"

I hate Kohls too. I went in there once and I haven't been back since. I love this idea though! If she wants it that bad, give it to her. This is a good way because it means you won't have to spend your money on her birthday gift. So smart Halleybird!

This is really kind of funny. Do you think that maybe she gave you a gift she knew you wouldn't like because she thought that you might give it to her? This is potentially a good idea. I think my husband is getting some new shoes for Valentines day!

Vanessa · Kate Spade

I'd let your mom keep the jewelry. I don't know your mom or her financial situation but if my mom ever likes anything I have I just let her have it because she's not one to buy things for herself. I love to spoil her and I know whatever gifts she gets me are meant with the best intention. However your situation has never happened to me. If your mom is not like that and she's just being smart, I'd let her know I was going to exchange the jewelry for something else and kindly ask for the receipt. If she doesn't budge I'd just accept it and go to kohl's and pick something out myself at whatever price they offer. You could probably find something there you could use.

We should really start a separate poll about our dislike of Kohl's. I swear it's my coworkers favorite and I fear possibly only place to shop. I went in there once and thought I'd never come out alive.

However, my friend registered there when she got married and I did get to see all the gifts she received and admittedly some were pretty cool. Awesome vacuum cleaner (they have dysons!), beautiful set of his/hers matching Samsonite luggage, beautiful everyday plates, some sort of buffet thing. I'd totally go there if I was in need of that sort of thing. I might actually give it one more chance now that I hear it's got good towels. Mine need replacing.

Grace · Dooney & Bourke

(blush) Kohl's is the only place I can find pants small enough to fit me.

Patricia · BCBG

You poor thing, it must be awful to be so teeny.

I'd give mom the earrings. Gifts aren't worth fighting over.

dc · Dooney & Bourke

This post and some of the responses pain me a bit... I am a little surprised at some of you. Sorry, but you asked for opinions and I feel strongly about this and I feel like I have to be real here. I am not judging anyone, and I say all of the following with caring and concern... please forgive me if I am out of line.

Yes, you told her nothing from Kohl's, but she's a mom. She thinks she knows best. I am sure that there was no malice to her purchase, she probably just thought - oh, she thinks Kohls sucks, but I'll show her she's wrong by giving her these cute earrings (or whatever). Clearly something about the jewelry spoke to her and she thought you'd like it. I do not think that she is "rude" for disregarding your request (maybe a bit clueless), and I doubt if she is an "indian giver" who planned all along to take the jewelry herself... I don't know. I just picture your Mom lovingly picking out a gift for you, and then the hurt she would experience when you actually try to exchange her loving gift for cold hard cash (if I were her - I don't know her of course - that would be how I would feel). I mean, think about it - that would be asking her to pay for those gifts TWICE - once when she bought them for you, once when she had to buy them back because you were not satisfied with the gift (step back and look at that for a minute - how does that sound to you?)

Is this what xmas is coming to (rhetorical question not directed at AJ personally)? Nobody owes us a gift - we are so fortunate to have the means to exchange gifts just for the sake of giving to others. A gift is an act of kindness. We are not entitled to any particular type of gift. AJ, I really like you, and I hate to sound like I am lecturing, but I am just sort of sad about the state of the holidays. i don't want to put myself out there as some kind of saint, b/c you all know how I love my "things," but no matter what stuff my mom gives me (and I have told her that's it's probably best not to give me certain things, like clothes, but she still tries, bless her heart) I smile, thank her, and wear it to xmas dinner. So please, either give them to her or quietly return them.

Again, I am sorry... i feel bad for sort of lecturing, but this really got to me.

And then I think about the people in SE Asia who would love to have their mothers or other loved ones back for a single day, crappy gifts or no, who have lost everything and whose lives are basically ruined - it just puts it into perspective is all. I know I sound like a lecturing old biddy there, but I think it needed to be said.

This is a forum primarility dedicated to acquiring things, yes... but I really hope that putting the acquisition of *things* or money above people's feelings is not actually a "dilemma" for anyone. There is a very clear right and wrong answer.

-- Edited by dc at 17:11, 2004-12-31

-- Edited by dc at 17:13, 2004-12-31

Andrea Julia · Coach

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-- Edited by Andrea Julia at 23:47, 2006-01-28

dc · Dooney & Bourke

Aj, it's a relief to read your response because i was concerned you'd be offended. I am glad you understand what i mean...

Here's an idea - why not keep the jewelry. wear it once or twice to events you don't care about (or take it off after leaving the house) and also tell her she can wear it whenever she wants?