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Post Info TOPIC: I just made a dangerous wager with my bf
Farrah


Marc Jacobs

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I just made a dangerous wager with my bf
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My bf has been off work since last Wednesday for the holidays.  Last night he decided to tell me about a Dr. Phil episode that he caught last week.  (Of course, I missed the first 5 minutes of the convo because I was laughing about him watching Dr. Phil.)  Anyway, he told me that he decided to watch because it was about a girl that was addicted to shopping.  Apparently, this girl wants nothing more than to get engaged to her live-in bf, but he told her that he would not do it because of her shopping addiction.  According to the show I have all of the signs of a shopping addiction too. 


Dr. Phil made a wager with the couple.  He had a beautiful engagement ring that he said that they could have if she went 2 months without shopping.  She could buy groceries, necessities, if she had to buy a birthday gift for someone she could, etc.


I told my bf that I could do that, especially if there was a ring at the end of the tunnel, wink-wink.  He said that he couldn't promise me that, but he wanted to make a wager anyway.  Here is the agreement:


-No shopping from Jan 1 to April 1.
-I may buy: groceries, necessities, gifts for family and friends, but I have to tell him first.  i.e. my nephew has a bday in February and Vanessa's bday is in March so all I have to do is say, "I am buying Vanessa's birthday gift"
-I can buy makeup, but (and this is where he is really good because I woud probably do this) I can not go to Sephora and buy a bunch of stuff that I do not need.  I may only buy makeup that I already use and I have to show him that I already use it.  i.e. I have to shoe him my nearly empty tube of lipgloss
-I am allowed to renew any magazine subscriptions that expire during that time
-None of these things that I am doing are so that he can put a curb on my spending.  It is so that he knows that I am keeping with the agreement and I do not risk losing the wager.
-There is no spending limit on the things that I need to buy so if I need more VL Water Canvas he can't say, "Well, you can't spend $50.  Find something cheaper."  He has no say in my personal financial decisions.


We have a signed agreement.  If I make it to April 1 I get a dinner at any restaurant of my choosing and he told me that if I can manage to put an extra $100 in my savings each month because of this plan he will also buy me something special.  The last time he bought me something special it was my white MJ Anouk so I know that it won't be something silly like a $10 prize. 


The whole point of this is to help me realize how much I could be saving if I weren't shopping so much.  My bf is very financially responsible and since we met his encouragement has gotten me out of credit card debt, I have opened 2 savings accounts and my 401K is skyrocketing.  I know that he just wants me to understand and realize how rewarding it is to have a nice nest egg and financial security in case something ever happens.  His magic number is  at least 20K in the bank...that is just what he thinks because he has a mortgage and a high car payment so he needs to have that kind of money to get by if he were to lose his job or something.

What do you ladies think?  I really think that I can do it...wish me luck!!



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mikacat


Coach

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i think you can absolutely do it!!


Don't even set foot in a mall or store or boutique the whole 3 months to resist temptation.



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Marc Jacobs

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i think it could be torture (you might have to take a style thread hiatus) but think of how much money you will save! you should definitely do it. i think the only bad part is that come march, all the spring stuff will be in stores and it's always so exciting to buy spring clothes after a long, cold winter.

i went for a little over a month without buying any clothes or accessories and it wasn't so bad. plus i sold a lot of stuff on ebay and to a consignment shop so i not only saved, but i earned money!

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Patricia


BCBG

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You can definitely do it, but you might need to stay off the shopping forums, Bluefly, Eluxury, out of the stores, etc.

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Maddie


Coach

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A couple years ago I didn't shop for basically the same amount of time because I was saving money to go to France.  It wasn't that bad.  I kind just got into the groove of it and didn't even think about buying things.  It just stopped being an option.



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Lola


Dooney & Bourke

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I have confidence in you Farrah! lol! BUT the question is, can HE buy anything he wants in these three months or is he on a freeze too? That wouldn't be fair :(



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Farrah


Marc Jacobs

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quote:

Originally posted by: Lola
"I have confidence in you Farrah! lol! BUT the question is, can HE buy anything he wants in these three months or is he on a freeze too? That wouldn't be fair :("


The wager isn't about him, it is about me.  He makes more than twice my salary and he has more than my yearly gross salary in the bank.  He doesn't need any encouragement about saving money.  He doesn't have a shopping problem.  The boy has never even paid a penny of interest on a cc and he uses them for everything. 



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Lola


Dooney & Bourke

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wow, I envy him! :) That's some security there!

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asf


Kate Spade

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wow...i need a bf like that to get me and my finances on track!


you can do it, farrah...it won't be easy, but you can.  and that something special just may be the ring you've been dreaming about!  either way, you'll feel great knowing that you *can* not shop if you so choose.  and saving money is always a good thing.  plus, it's not like you'll have to give up shopping completely.  i suggest wearing more makeup than usual and reapplying your gloss more often than normal so you can at least buy that and get some relief! 



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Kel


Coach

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I think you can do it. Just stay away from places that tempt you, plus there is a reward at the end, so it motivates you even more. Good Luck!

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pixie


BCBG

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Good Luck!

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DC Shopper


Dooney & Bourke

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oooh, you should do it!  your bf sounds awesome.  I think it's possible, but will be very difficult.  every year for the past 2 years i've been saying i will cut back on spending, but never to this degree.  it can't hurt to try it though, it can only do you good.  the one thing that sucks about vowing to stop shopping is that it's really hard to do when you are on this forum a lot.  maybe if you just checked the non-shopping related forums you could do it more easily.  good luck! 

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halleybird


Hermes

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I think it's going to be hard, but it's definitely do-able. I sat down awhile ago and added up how much I was actually spending, and it was kind of scary. I think you will be surprised how much you save. I didn't go on a shopping ban, but we changed things up a bit (see my story)-- it really helps. And, just think how fun April 1 will be!


--My spending story--


My husband & I used to fight a lot about spending. I grew up never being able to buy things (mom was cheeeeaaap), so once I got my own salary, I was like, "who needs a savings account?" Now, we each have a our own checking acct (separate from our joint, pay-bills one) that gets $100 deposited in it each month. The rule is, we can spend that $100 on whatever we want. So now I don't hassle him anymore about what he buys ($50 for poker night?!? whatev) and he can't hassle me anymore. If I want something nice, I save my "allowance" until I have enough, or I supplement it by working extra, selling on ebay, etc.  It actually works really, really well.



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carmenb513


Coach

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Good luck! I'm going to really try to save more in 2005.I work in the mall and my soending habits are getting a little bit ridiculous! I opened up a orange account (thanks Andrea Julia)!I havea set amount that will be taking out bi- weekly. I think I will start that allowance thing for my self. I'm 23 and don't want to be 35 still paying rent! So I've start saving and getting rid of all my debt! Let us know about your progress.

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honey


Gucci

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you can do it! i might join you from at least march to april (i have to shop in feb. can't miss the clearance sales) good luck! (on a side note, nice to see you patricia!) 

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trixie


Kenneth Cole

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You can totally do it - just think about how great it'll feel to take on something like that.  You have already inspired me to go on my own spending freeze for the next few months.  We'll have to start a support topic for everyone who is going on this shopping hiatus!

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Karina


Chanel

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You can do it!!!

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manhattanmonkey


Kenneth Cole

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I saw that episode of Dr. Phil but I missed the update.

I definitely think it's possible and wish you luck!

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esquiress


Marc Jacobs

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I totally think you can do it and that it's really fab of your bf to be watching out for your best interests.  good luck!

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Vanessa


Kate Spade

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Farrah, this is major!  No shopping together for 3 months
No, but seriously, I know you can do it!  I wish I had seen that show.  I promise to be a good friend and not enable you. 


Actually I am going back to my pre-holiday restrained-shopping self.  I was doing really well until the holidays came along and all these sales made me go nuts!  So from Jan 1 until my birthday, I vow to join you in not buying any non-neccesity that goes over my side job budget.  And you know I don't make much working there.  By the way, that's mid-March for the rest of you reading this


PS - I hope you get that e-ring!  You never know, G. might surprise you



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